Ateş
💎
She's close.
She's so close he can smell her perfume and feel her warmth surrounding him as her hair falls in waves around them. If he raises his hands just an inch, they'll land on her hips. If he lifts up his head, if he sways just an inch forward, his lips will brush hers.
He wants it. Desperately.
But he holds back. He holds back, because he needs her to make the decision, he needs her to be the one to take that step, because he can't.
Ateş holds his breath.
"Anne?"
He sees Feraye flinch away from him when Yağmur calls out for her, and his heart sinks. For the next few seconds, he just looks at her, searching her face for a hint of a smile, something-anything- to let him know she didn't regret what almost happened.
He finds none of it. Instead, she avoids his eyes.
I guess that's my answer, he thinks as he gets up. He heads for the door and does his best not to look back at her.
"Ateş," she calls out, once he's got his hand on the door handle. He hesitates before he looks back at her.
There are too many emotions playing on her face, one giving way to another before Ateş can decipher any of them. Their eyes lock, and a sense of heart wrenching longing settles deep down in his gut.
Maybe it's not meant to be. Lord knows they've had plenty of chances to try to make this thing between them work, and they've failed.
Maybe, he thinks, we shouldn't force it.
He smiles at her, soft and sad and aching all over. "It's okay," he says, and leaves before she can get a word out.
He doesn't think he can handle another rejection from her.
💎
He doesn't see Feraye for a couple of days. He can't say it's entirely her fault, because if he's honest with himself, he's avoiding her.
Because here's the thing: he loves her.
But here's another thing: some part of him is still angry at her.
His love is constant, but his anger- it comes and goes, with no rhyme or reason. One minute he'll be watching her, heart fit to bursting with his love for her, and the next he's so angry at her- for leaving, for not giving them a chance, for choosing Yaman- that it suffocates him. He knows this must have unsettled her as they tried to navigate their dynamic after she came back, knows it must have made her unsure of his feelings but surely, surely, some part of her is aware of the depth of his love for her.
He loves her.
Ateş has loved her for years now, so much so that it's become a part of who he is, and what does he have to show for it except a heart that's been torn apart and stitched together time and time again?
"What are you doing out here all alone?"
He startles, looks back to see his mother making her way to him. He tries to smile, but probably fails.
