(Authors note: Hey hi, hello! I'm alive. I have been- god so tired.
I've been sick with a lung infection for the past few weeks and I'm actually feeling less bed ridden enough to write on this again and I'd like to apologize for the long wait.
Slight TW's for this chapter, mentions of abuse, animal death, and Toby just isn't having a very good time it seems! Also I rewrote this chapter so many times I can't count. I'm annoyed with myself- at least I have something to patch work, or put in my one shot book.~Tully)
Trust me,
Trust.
Me.
Regret it.
That was a lot to ask for wasn't it? Your trust? How many times will he ask, repeating the same mistake each time?
Is he really asking for that? Or for you to just stay by his side no matter how burned you got?
No matter how hot the embers burned, you stay near- clinging to him like a camp fire on a cold day. It felt safe.
He, felt safe.
But was he really?
It was hard to feel assured of it, when his hands burned hotter than the flames he created, hotter than the bits of ash that still clung to him, warmer than the coals he's left to cinder.
His mouth on yours- it was just so sweet. You could still taste the last bits of candy and coffee across his tongue as he licked your bottom lip, along with the faintest metallic taste from his recent injury. A wound that was taking awhile to heal, a wound that was being abused over and over again- like that hole in his cheek. Your fingers ran themselves against his bruised skin- his body shivered in response, his left arm twitched ever so slightly as he nipped at your bottom lip- an action that made your whole body shake, loose fingers found their way into his hair- tugging just right, leading him in all the right directions- making him feel so desperately loved, something he's been on his knees begging for.
He hummed at this reaction, pressing his body against yours, holding you tightly as he ran his fingers through your hair, you felt as if you were going to suffocate underneath him, from the feeling of his busted lip on your own soft ones- peppering kisses down your throat, nipping gently at your collar bones- it was all so..
Consuming.
He felt consuming, burning with passion as he loomed over, pushing you into the sea of sheets and blankets, pulling you down into their inky sea.
The callouses that glazed across his finger tips from all those past years of playing pretend musician- felt like rough branches brushing against your neck, a grip that felt a bit too threatening- like a rope ready to slip. The static began, fuzzing both of your minds, intrusive thought arising from corners you wish had stayed burned, memories that you wish you never remembered.
Breathe.
Is the smoke too heavy for you?
You pulled away from the boy, gasping hard as he nuzzled into your neck, his breath just as heavy. His thoughts? Blurry, as his mind filled with whispers, with thoughts he didn't want to think about.
It's difficult to remember, when you're the one who's let it all burn.
He let out a shaky breath, body shaking as you muttered his name softly, your hands felt cold against his feverish skin as you tried to ground yourself, but more importantly, him.
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