damnation - r.j.lupin

Remus' jacket

as far as i see - junodream

☆☾

Olivia grabs James Joyce's poetry collection, puts on a big sweater and walks out of her dorm. Night has already fallen but the brunette cannot sleep. She told herself that even if it meant being awake, she might as well do something.

Guided by the half-full moon, she takes the secret path that leads her to her favorite spot, under the trees, along the lake. That same place where she kissed Remus a few weeks ago. Her body shudders as she passes the same places, when her hand was in his, the rain falling on them.

Her eyebrows furrow when she sees a presence on the trunk where she usually sits. She slows her pace and delicately grabs her wand from her pocket, holding it out in front of her, ready to use it.

But she instantly lowers her arm when she sees Remus' face, dimly lit by the moon. She walks and sits next to him, on the trunk, in complete silence. Why was he here ?

"Were you really pointing your wand at me, Miss Marat?" Remus asks, smirking, eyes fixed on the lake.

"I wouldn't dare, Professor," Olivia replies before sighing, bringing her legs up to her chest. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question. I could even punish you for being awake and out at such a time of night, it's not reasonable." Olivia snickers and turns to him.

"Come on, professor, we both know that nothing is reasonable here," she says, her gaze piercing. A faint smile marks Remus' face. He looks for in his pocket a pack of cigarettes, which he hands to Olivia. She grabs one and slides it between her lips. She leans over for Remus to turn it on, and doesn't take his eyes off him. His breathing becomes heavier; to have her face so close to him, her lips so beautiful and kissable.

"Thank you," she whispers, exhaling the smoke. She observes him take a slice of chocolate out of his pocket. Remus hands her a piece which she happily takes. Olivia remembers having seen these kinds of packages in his office before. "What's with the chocolate?"

Remus grabs another piece and twirls it in his hands. "I learned it kills dogs." He pauses and Olivia feels her heart tighten, seeing where the conversation is going. "I guess I hope it kills the wolf inside me."

"How did it happen?"

Remus sighs and runs a hand through his hair. Usually he hates talking about this, but tonight, sitting next to her, breathing in her vanilla scent, lit by the stars, he feels good. Even the moon does not seem so cursed to him.

"I wasn't even five years old. Greyback did it to get revenge on my father."

"How hard are transformations?" Olivia asks, genuinely interested.

"It all depends," he replies, looking down. "Sometimes they are bearable, sometimes I come out a little battered." He sighs. "But the most important thing is that I remain in control of myself, thanks to the potion."

Olivia nods, remembering the potion McGonnagall was talking about.

"No one has any idea how much I hate myself," he finally added. Olivia feels that he needs to confide, to talk. She says nothing and lets him go on. "I feel hideous, like a monster." She saw how his hands automatically run on his face, along his scars.

"I find them beautiful," Olivia almost whispers.

"What ?"

"Your scars. They mean that you survived, they are your story, that you are stronger than you think you are. It's not hideous, it's beautiful."