Finding Miss Cellaneous Novellas

Fortune Told

Among the most disreputable professions are fortune tellers. These clairvoyants often allude to famous historical figures, and their skills help them fathom an individual's future. However, they are known for their guile and lack of integrity, which is why they are so rarely described as exemplary. Despite these criticisms, fortune tellers have always intrigued me, and once I learned their secrets, I felt confident that I could match their skills. 

This brings me to my very first reading.

It was an ordinary day. The sky was placid and blue, and the carefree chirping of birds was a stark contrast to what was about to happen. 

My client entered the tent. At first glance, I immediately did not want to engage with him. His fancy clothes and smug grin revealed how obnoxious he was, and it would be difficult to placate him, as calm victims — er, clients, are necessary for their fortunes to be told accurately. 

Upon settling himself on the chair across from me, my client's hand protruded in what I assumed was an invitation for a handshake. As I reached for his hand, it became apparent that I had misconstrued his intent. In the palm of his hand lay a small business card, which he regarded with such a prideful glare that I hesitated before taking it from him. 

After learning his name, I asked him to choose a tarot card. With an imperious look on his face and a dismissive scoff, my client disregarded the cards laid out on the table and promptly asked me if he was going to acquire widely-coveted treasures in his future. Perhaps my disbelief showed on my face, for he clicked his tongue and shook his head. 

"How unfortunate," he said, "that I have had to waste my time with such foolish nonsense. It is clear that you have no inkling what you are doing."

That was his mistake. Offended at his words, I snatched up a tarot card at random. Closer examination revealed that the card I had picked up was known as "The Tower."

"See here," I had announced, displaying the card for my client to see. "The Tower. Upright. Sudden upheaval, broken pride, disaster." 

My client's face blanched. 

"You have doomed yourself, my friend," I declared. 

With a menacing scowl, my client sprang up from his seat and stormed out of the tent.

Perhaps it was fate, but less than a week after my client had so angrily left the tent did I receive a newspaper with a startling headline. RICH FAMILY ACCUSED OF BLACKMAIL.