Heard it through the grapevine

Chapter 16

Waking up the next day felt very different than it had for the past many months. Of course, Helena was in bed with someone else that she hadn't been to bed with for a while, but she also found herself keeping her eyes shut for longer than necessary, wanting to savour the moment and warmth coming off of Charles whom her limbs were currently tangled with for a little while longer before being forced to face reality. 

Although this morning felt like a relief in many aspects, Helena was struggling to cope with the fact that she had hurt someone else to cause herself happiness. What a terrible person was she actually? She'd spent the better part of her teens and early adulthood thinking that she was a good person. She wasn't some kind of angel walking around with a shining glory above her head, but she'd always thought that she had enough of a moral compass to trust herself to always do the right thing.

"Are you awake?" Charles' mumbled into her ear, dragging her from her intrusive thoughts. She mumbled a small yes before deciding to greet the world with one open eye. She found Charles already peaking back at her with a small smile tugging on his lips. 

"You have to get up now if you want to leave the hotel before anyone sees you"

Helena groaned.

"Don't get me wrong, I want nothing but for you to stay..." Charles pulled her even closer against him, kissing her forehead in the process which made Helena giggle. 

"Yeah yeah I know I'm irresistable," she teased him as she wrestled her way away from him and out of bed to find her clothes. 

Behind her Charles sighed. "If only you knew" 

She chuckled before getting lost in her own thoughts again. Running through the events of last night. It wasn't until Charles walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her, that she realised she had been stuck in her head. His warmth enveloped her, grounding her again. "It wasn't your fault, Helena. Maybe not perfect timing, but it was going to happen either way."

Helena shook her head against his chest. "I just wish I'd had the courage to end it properly before it got to that point. Michael deserved better."

Charles hesitated, then whispered, "You were scared. That doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you human."

They stood like that for a few moments. Just two people trying to find clarity in the middle of a storm neither of them quite knew how to navigate.

By the time noon rolled around, Helena had several texts waiting; Kika was asking if she was okay, Thomas was still apologizing profusely, and Olivia, ever the professional and oblivious to last night's events, reminding her of a content planning meeting at 2 p.m.

Helena sighed. Formula 1 really didn't pause for personal drama.

Once she was back in the paddock that same afternoon, she kept her head down and focused on her work. It was easier that way. It was easier to stare at screens and camera lenses than to let her paranoia take over, making her feel like she was constantly being followed by curious glances that seemed to know everything that had transpired last night.

Charles had given her space in the paddock. Not that he really had a choice, but he could tell hat she needed to work through the shock herself before he overwhelmed her. He'd smiled at her once, briefly, during a media session and sent her a text under the table that simply said: "Still here. Don't forget that." She had smiled back at him, trying to assure him that everything was okay between them.

By the afternoon, as she was sitting by a table in the middle of the paddock, editing away on her laptop, Thomas pulled up a chair beside her and handed her a glass of wine, she nearly laughed.