Wicked Game | Grayson Dolan

13

Grayson

I played some damn good baseball on the west coast this week. Part of it due to my mind being clear—making progress with Sam has really been helping me, and I hope it continues to go down the same path.

I have to admit that being in the hot tub with her was a little on the side of danger. Nothing crazy happened, but I couldn't stop thinking about her damn collarbone. I've been with other women throughout my adult life, but never have I been attracted to their collarbone other than Samantha's.

Funny how your brain can do that with certain people. You love things about them that would piss you off of anyone else did the same thing.

My teammates and I wake up early the next morning for team breakfast, conditioning and then rest time before our game.

We win each series in California. Giants, Padres, then Dodgers. It's a blast, and the team is having more and more fun with every game of ball.

Sam has been enjoying it too. Every win, she's gone to drinks with us. Honestly, it feels like old times before we realized we had feelings for one another. We always loved each other as kids, but didn't realize what it all meant until we were in high school. Now, there's still so many feelings to sort through from those days.

Our last stop is in Texas before we fly back to Boston. This is when the trouble begins.

-

Samantha

We were drinking after a game. It was the last game before a whole week off, which meant the team could virtually do whatever they wanted. We had rented out a high-security hotel bar that only people on a list were allowed in. Since I'm staff for the Red Sox, I didn't have an issue.

Grayson and I were honestly having fun. The guys were all being super funny, and had us laughing until we were on the verge of peeing ourselves. Then when Grayson and I were headed back to our rooms, all I could think about was his hands and what I know they're capable of.

No one has ever made me feel the amount of feelings that Grayson has. Maybe it's because we grew up together, or maybe it's because he's supposed to be my person.

I surprise both of us when I kiss him in the elevator. He surprises the both of us back when he pulls me closer.

Do I really have to spell the rest of it out? We're drunk and happy, and all we want is to forget the past and rip each other's clothes off. The complications don't matter in this moment. We can and will deal with them at a different time.

That's for us to deal with once we get sober.

I do remember every detail of the night, knowing the risk of regretting my actions in the morning. All I know is that Grayson is even better than he was when we were in college, which already no one has held a candle to.

Grayson's still asleep when I wake up, and so many thoughts are running through my head. He looks so peaceful right now, as if our shared experience last night caused him to feel like he can breathe again.

Or maybe that's just how I'm feeling.

"I know you're staring at me," Grayson says. He's bullshitting me, because his eyes are still closed."

"Wake up then," I say.

He opens his eyes, and then smiles at me. "How was your night last night?"

"Probably the same as yours, wouldn't you think?"

"I don't know. Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I think we need to."

I'm sitting criss-cross, so Grayson puts his hand on my ankle, running his thumb back and forth. This is something he always used to do, and in a weird way it comforts me right now.

"Let's not tell anyone this happened. At least not yet. Ethan might kill me on site."

"I wasn't planning on telling anyone."

"Not even Nat?"

"Not even Nat," I say. "I'm not sure how she'd react."

"How do you feel about what happened?" Grayson asks.

"I don't know," I say. "On one hand, it's us. We've known each other forever, and this almost feels bound to happen. Especially because we were together before. On the other hand, I don't know if this should happen again. I've already gone through the pain of losing you once, I don't think I could let myself get to that point again."

"You're scared?" Grayson asks.

I nod. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Grayson doesn't talk for a couple of minutes. Then he starts talking again. "I would spend my whole life making it up to you, Sammie. I wish you knew that. I'm so sick of all of the women from the bars, that never even make me feel a sliver of what you do. None of them are you."

"Where do we go from here?" I ask.

"We take things day by day. You sleep in my bed at my apartment. We go on a few dates. Call it a trial run. And then we get married on Nantucket."

I laugh. We always used to joke about getting married on the beach near my parents' house. Then when we were teenagers, it was our biggest aspiration in life. That got lost once Grayson broke my heart, but maybe it's still possible.

"Okay. Day by day," I say.

"That's my girl," Grayson says. "Now, should we order room service? We have all day."

I laugh. "Grayson, it's summer and we're close to a beach. Why don't we just have a beach day?"

So, that's exactly what we do. The beaches in California are nice, but they're nothing like home. 

Honestly, I wasn't expecting this to happen on our trip, but I'm glad things are going in a new direction. Grayson seems less tense, and I feel like things are truly looking up for us. Even though it's a little scary at times, all I can think about is how all I've ever wanted was to be with Grayson.

And here we are.