Inside the Snowglobe

the bridge

"Eve!"
Villanelle sees her cross the busy street. Her heart lurches as when she doesn't stop for a passing car. She's at the bridge now, Villanelle can see her through the rush of moving vehicles. 
Thankful for a free moment, she hurries across the street. Eve is already in the middle of the bridge, looking down at the black river below. 
Villanelle reaches the beginning of the bridge and slows her pace. She takes a deep breath, but her heart is still racing. 
"Hey." 
Eve doesn't look up. Villanelle frowns. "You can be pretty athletic when you choose."
Eve sighs, still not looking at her. Villanelle wants to look away, but she can't take her eyes off her. They had just been sitting an inch apart from each other only minutes before, and yet the two feet in between them now feel much closer. A stray strand of Eve's black hair was getting tangled in her jacket's zipper. Villanelle knows she shouldn't have tried to crack a joke, but as always, she couldn't help herself. 
Eve's face is solemn, her brows stiff with concern. "I killed Dasha."
Villanelle leans up against the railing next to her. "No, I killed Dasha." She looks at Eve, the memory as clear as the night sky. "I hit her over the head with a golf-club." She could still feel the firm resistance Dasha's head had against the golf-club. She misses that green jacket.
Eve turns to face her. Her eyes meet Villanelle's, and Eve's harsh gaze surprises her more than what she says. "I crushed her. With my foot."
"You did?"
Eve looks away again. She's breathing heavily, still looking out over the horizon as she nods. 
Villanelle turns her head away as well, looking out at the horizon with her. When did Eve kill Dasha? She couldn't tell what bothered her more: that she failed a kill, or that Eve was so close to her and she didn't know. 
Villanelle braves another look at Eve. "Then I guess we both did." She looks down again, nudging her foot into a crevice in the bridge. She feels a smirk cross her face. "Isn't that romantic?" 
Eve sighs next to her. "You know who the only people who would think that are?"
She turns her head to find Eve looking at her. She raises her brows. "Who?"
"Us." 
Us. That word. Villanelle knew from the moment she found Eve trashing her apartment that her obsession wasn't one-sided. And now this word is a small confirmation. It all feels very familiar. Only this time Villanelle didn't have a forgotten gun in her jeans. She knows she could have taken Raymond on her own, but she still liked the idea of Eve slashing him in order to save her. No blood spattered across Villanelle's face this time. This time, it was just the two of them. 
"I don't want to do it anymore."
Eve looks at her. 
"Any of it."
She waits for an answer, a word of confirmation, that it's okay, but none comes. Eve sighs. "What's happened to us?" She pushes herself off of the railing and turns around. For a split second, Villanelle thinks she's going to walk away. Her body is tensed to sprint after her when she realises Eve hasn't moved. She's looking around at the other oblivious people passing them on the bridge. "I used to be like them," she says, her eyes fixed on no one in particular. 
Villanelle follows her gaze and feels her face curl in disgust. A woman talking on the phone passes them wearing a long shapeless coat, her mousey hair piled under a grey knit hat. For a small moment Villanelle wonders who that woman has in her life who will talk to her. Eve? Like them? She looks back to Eve, who's eyes are still fixated on the passing pedestrians. She's nothing like them.
"What?" Villanelle asks. "Badly dressed?"
That gets her attention. Eve turns to face her, a coy and annoyed expression on her face. Villanelle raises her brows at her, smiles, and Eve looks away, but Villanelle spots a trace of a smile. 
"You were never like them," Villanelle continues. "You only thought you were."
"No," Eve retorts. She leans in closer to Villanelle, her eyes earnest. Villanelle blinks. "I had a life. I had a husband, and a house, and a chicken-"
"You still want that stuff?" Villanelle muses as Niko's face flashes in front of her eyes. That stupid moustache. 
Eve doesn't respond, only looks back out to the horizon. She sighs. "When I try and think of my future, I just..." She turns, their eyes meet and for a split second the space around them goes quiet. "I see your face over and over again."
Villanelle looks at her, studies the creases around her eyes, her full lashes and the way her hair frames her face.
"It's a very beautiful face," she replies. Eve scoffs and rolls her eyes, and Villanelle smiles, but it wasn't a joke. She shakes her head to hide a laugh. Laughing is easy with Eve.
She looks back up to observe her profile, taking in the moment. Realising she is here with Eve, and Eve wants to spend her life with her. Hélène's voice starts to ring through her thoughts... You're a beautiful monster, Villanelle. She swallows. "Did I ruin your life?"
Eve's head turns slowly to face her, but she doesn't answer.
"Do you think I'm a monster?"
It takes her a long second before responding. "You're so many things."
Villanelle feels her smile want to falter. "Doesn't answer my question."
Eve takes a moment again,  her lips parting in thought. "I think we all have monsters inside of us. It's just that most people manage to keep theirs hidden."