BARCODE
I'm nervous.
I deserve an Oscar for the show I am putting on when in actuality, I am scared. Not of Mile or even the act itself but of myself.
What if...
What if I grow too attached to Mile? I've heard people always fall in love with their firsts, and I cannot afford to fall in love with Mile. I cannot think of him as anything more than a Phi doing me a favor and yet...
I am so much attached to him already.
The way in which he kisses me, his large hands firm as they trace my back and these massive shoulders...
Ugh, this is driving me insane and I express my frustration in the way I send the buttons of his shirt flying as I strip him off. The shirt probably costs someone's monthly salary but I don't care, Mile can afford to replace it and I just... I need to feel him.
My breathing comes out in short pants as I skim my gaze over his broad shoulders and down to his muscled chest before dropping to his firm stomach. There is a huge bulge pushing against his expensive slacks. I find my shaky fingers dropping to his stomach, thinking how much he must've put at the gym to look this darn perfect.
"Are you done looking?"
My cheeks flush at his words but I can't drop my gaze from his bulge. I've had my mouth wrapped around his cock before and I know how big the man is and for the first time, I have a moment of doubt whether or not I'll be able to take him.
Am I getting ahead of myself?
Whether or not I want Mile is not even up for debate. Of course, I want him. My body is practically trembling for the man, it's just whether or not I can handle someone as big as him... is my new insecurity.
"You're thinking too much, Kitten," Mile rasps, dropping his hand to my ass and kneading them roughly, distracting me from my thoughts. I gasp when he spins me on the bed so I'm lying on my back and he's on top. "Can you shut your mind for a while? Let me do all the thinking for the both of us."
I blink up dazedly at him. "If I am going to shut my mind then should you do it as well?" His eyes narrow on mine but he doesn't say a word.
Mile thinks I don't know. He thinks that I can't tell how much he's thinking about this and wondering whether or not it's a bad idea.
The truth is... it's a terrible idea.
Mile and I having sex is the most terrible idea both of us could have come up with and it doesn't matter that we're both consenting adults, the consequences are still so great but I want him with such a strong craving I feel like I am going to die if I don't have him and Mile...
He wants me to.
Can we, even for a few moments, shut off logic and all the voices at the back of our minds trying to stop us from going ahead with this?
"Kitten?"
"This is a first for both of us. For you, it's the first time being with a man even if you've acted in adult scenes and for me... it's being with anyone at all. Please don't rob me of a magical moment just because you're distracted."
Mile stares down at me for a long time, his hard eyes dark and expressionless when they lock on mine and I swallow hard, waiting to see what he'll do he must come to a resolution as he leans down and takes my lips with his.
It's nothing short of feral.
The way his lips dance over my lips, his tongue hungrily seeking mine even as his hands drop to my shirt. I gasp into the kiss when he tears my clothes off my body to expose my naked skin.
I bite back a moan and my back arches off the bed when his lips drop to my neck and he drags his thick tongue wetly over my throat, down to my chest, gently nipping at my skin and leaving love bites behind.
Everything happens in a rush of heat in a smooth glide of skin on skin and I lose myself in his fiery touch and masculine scent. Everything about him is all male, from the way he traces his hands over my body down to the way he digs his fingers into my skin.
Neither of us pause anymore to think of a hundred reasons why we shouldn't be doing this but instead, tear at each other's clothes as if possessed by some unknown force. I can't get enough of his touch and it seems he can't get enough of mine too.
When we're both stripped naked, I admit to myself that I have, in fact, not seen Mile's body before this moment. Every muscle on this man seems to have been sculpted from stone and his firm body feels heavenly against my much softer skin.
It's magical, the moment.
And when he reaches to his nightstand and grabs an unopened bottle of lube and a box of condoms, I expect my stomach to flutter with nerves... and it does, it's just not the kind I was expecting. I was expecting a bout of fear to overwhelm me but instead, it's excitement and anticipation that rocks me to my core.
I've thought of this moment for a long time but Mile outdoes my fantasies in how gentle and careful he is with me.
His eyes are bright with tenderness as he preps me with his fingers, patient and gently sliding the wet digits into me. It's awkward and at times uncomfortable but neither of us is willing to stop. I am still rock hard and shaking with the need for more when he finally slides his thick shaft past my ring of nerves.
It's nothing and everything I ever imagined.
I didn't come into this expecting the moment to match any of the scenes in the movies we've both acted in. I didn't think they would match the perfectly choreographed moves I've seen in most adult movies but I didn't expect it to feel so deeply intimate.
I'm only allowed to be with this man for four more days.
My heart is not to supposed beat this fast when our bodies move together in a carnal dance. My heart is not supposed to clench hard when Mile buries his face into my neck as he takes me in slow measured moves that send my toes curling in pleasure.
I'm not supposed to cling to his sweat-slicked shoulders like a lifeline or inhale his expensive aftershave greedily.
And when we both climax with his lips wrapped around mine, I am not supposed to wish the moment lasts forever.
The second he rolls off me, drawing me into his arms and brushes his lips over my shoulder, calling me "kitten" and whispering sweet nothings into my ear, I realize it's true what they say about never forgetting your first.
So why the hell do I want Mile to be my last?
