I KNOW THE END - Gracie Abrams

17. LIGHT

    "Baby you were beautiful" I hugged my girlfriend after her performance. "Aww thank you" she hugged back. We walked back to the tent for the midnight set.

"I don't know what I'm going to do when eras is over" gracie said laying her head on my shoulder "don't even talk about it" I said leaning on her as well.

    We called it a night pretty early and went to sleep immediately. We were going to explore a bit tomorrow.

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We were walking through the city with Tay trying to stay out of sight.

    "Ivy I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick" Gracie said wandering off. "Ivy you have to tell her, she's going to support you" Taylor plead with me. "I just don't know how to start a conversation about it it's so- so awkward or something" I said trying to process my thoughts. "I know but we're going to think of something" she swore.

We ended up just shopping for most of the day and meeting fans and stuff and we really didn't have any negative interactions.

"I got us a private reservation at the restaurant in about an hour and a half so I was thinking nail appointment in the meantime?" Tay suggested "sounds good" Gracie "yeah for sure"

My mind was being cruel to me. I wanted to focus on the fact id have to be normal now and were not even eating yet but I couldn't.

We all got acrylics, gray got plain French tips, i got orange and yellow shades of french tips and Taylor got all purple for Speak Now TV this week.

"Oh perfect timing" Taylor said as we left the salon "I just got a text that our tables ready" she revealed. Fuck. My fingernails were puncturing the skin on my palms as i tried not to cry.

"You okay baby?" Gracie asked but all I could do was nod. "She's fine" Taylor said to Gracie for me.

We sat down at the table and I was trying to breathe like a normal functioning human being. "Do you want me to order something for you" Taylor whispered and again I nodded.

I grabbed Gracies hand under the table and held onto it and she knew better than to not hold it back.

As i ate what Taylor ordered me she rubbed my shoulders and Gracie continued to hold my hand. This is definitely not casual.

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Later that night Gracie and I were in bed back at the hotel cuddling "do you want to talk about something?" She suggested "what do you mean?" I played dumb

"i get if you don't want to talk about it but I'm not stupid I know somethings up and I love you and I promise I'd never judge you for anything"

"I guess I just get upset by what people say a lot and it cuts really deep and it's made me kind of get an unhealthy relationship with food i guess" I said quietly.

"Ivy baby there's nothing wrong with your body they will shit on anything that moves and you need to know how valued you are and i'm sure Taylors already working through it with you but I'm always here" she said running her fingers through my hair.

"I know Gracie but it's just so hard. I just want to be as good as everyone wants me to be and I just can't be everything at once and I just couldn't take it" I whimpered

"I know my love and that's not your fault the world is so so so fake and unrealistic nobody will ever really meet it's standards but you're so pure and so sweet you're so much better than average and above that you're beautiful" she said crying with me.

"Gracie" i said "yeah? She question "thank you I said leaning against her while she put an arm around me and there we just sat for a while enjoying each other while we still could.

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Tay tay 💜💜

Talk to her yet?

Yeah i did actually

How was it?

It was amazing

I know i say it a lot but I really am
just so proud of you you exceeded
all  my expectations and so much more
ivy you are my heart

I think god knew we needed eachother

Me too and I'm so glad you're my reason

You're the reason I woke up on the hardest days

You and your mother both

and im just so eternally grateful

Me too Tay, me too.