Just Pretend

The Moment I Knew

(Y/N POV)

Yesterday, I worried all morning and tossed and turned the night before, fretting what would happen to me and Beomgyu once we finished our presentation.

The presentation went well, but not me and Beomgyu.

Since I showed up that morning, he had been acting strange. I woke up early to do my makeup and hair, trying my best to look nice. My mom thinks it's because of the presentation. But really, it's because it was the last time we were forced to work together, and I hoped that if I could look good enough or sound smart enough, he would stick around.

However, he was distant the entire day. Like those pictures you see of the milky way galaxy, he seemed to be orbiting a whole other sun.

He performed well when it came to the slideshow, but I didn't see him again all day. It's like he was hiding. He had been dodging eye contact and muttering to himself since he got here. Was it something I did? I worry. I think back to me grabbing his hand earlier, shoot! I probably weirded him out and now he hates me, and, and... these nervous thoughts followed me all day, like the cherry blossoms in the spring air. Except far less pretty.

I practically ran to the front gates of the school. If I could see him just one last time before the weekend, maybe somehow I could... keep myself in his thoughts? He walked slowly from the classrooms, eyes down. When he finally looked up and saw me, he practically froze. Has he actually been avoiding me? What did I do?

I still smiled and ran over to him, "I keep forgetting that we don't need to work on our project after school today"

He gulped, "y-yeah" His eyes seemed to jump around, rarely meeting mine.

If I messed something up, I want to fix it! But how am I supposed to fix it if we never talk again?

"so, got any plans for the weekend?"

"Nope"

I went to prom with him (kinda), I talked to him once he lost his old friends, he helped me escape people that were bullying me, we've done this whole project together, how can we just move on as acquaintances after that?

"Then, uh," my mind raced as I tried to think of something we could do together, some excuse to meet up.

I looked at him again. He looked almost... agitated? He turned away and covered his face. I breathed a sigh. Then again, if he were to fall in love with me like I hoped, wouldn't he have by now?

"Then, I guess I'll just see you around"

He was still looking off somewhere. Maybe at someone else. Maybe at nothing at all, "Mhm"

I turned and began walking home. Once I was farther away, I felt tears start to well up in my eyes. I cried silently the whole way home.

Maybe it's stupid. Maybe I'm the one being unrealistic. But I really thought we had something, or maybe I just really believed we could've. I shouldn't have invited him to prom, it just made my feelings worse. And now I have to accept that we could've been, but we never will.

My feelings will just be fog on a window, obscuring my view but clear to him. My warm welcomes just melt at the hands of his cold gaze. And I'll have to be okay with that.

-----

I sip my warm latte, steam floating up and warming my face. I listen to the tap tap tap of the icy rain against the metal roof.

In this quiet morning, I just scroll through Pinterest. Saving photos of cute animals or funny memes. Just relaxing.

I hear something hit the window. I look out there, but I don't see much through the condensation on the glass.

Again, a knock. Is there some animal messing with the latch of the window? A squirrel that went a bit crazy?

The sound continues, so I finally close my phone and unlock the latch of the window to see what is going on.

"What is-"

I freeze in my spot at my desk. My eyes now wide and glassy.

Soaked from the rain. Eyes red; he's been crying for a while now. Hair all messed up. A slouch to his posture, shoulders weighing him down. Arms flat at his side. A pleading look.

"I didn't know where else to go," he mumbles.

A roar of thunder. A flash of lightning. A shiver as he stands before me. I'm still so shocked. I was worried I'd never see him again, but here he is. And that was the moment I knew, for sure this time.

This was real.

I finally call to him, "Beomgyu?"