MY LIFE( Book 3)

Ch 5

I couldn't go anywhere, I stepped outside and decided to call my brother, Tj didn't answer so I am calling Andy now because my heart can't leave this place after seeing what my mother is going through"princess" I breath " bhuti, I need you to come home right now" yes I went straight to the point "why what's happening? I was about to go to a meeting" he questions " I was trying to get hold of Tj as well but his not answering his phone, something is happening to mama, please come" I hear ruffling it's like his running out from where he is" I'll be there in less than 10 minutes, keep trying Tj but his in Joburg at the moment, know what I'll be there. "I say okay then hang up, pacing up and down, right now I don't know if his continuing with what he was doing or not but I'm waiting outside for my brother to get here, he will tell me what to do.

Kimora

Well there are many things I didn't disclose isn't it? But do y'all blame me? I don't want to say my husband is abusing me. I like to put it as disciplining me as he puts it. but we all know that's abuse. It started a year after dating him, when he was financially struggling. It started off being a simple emotional abuse, manipulating me into taking care of him and his mother financially, turned to mental abuse. Now that's where he got me, when someone tells you nobody will ever want you like that and that your kids will see you as a failure for failing yet another marriage because he knew that my biggest goal was to give my children a home with a mother and a father figure. Before I had my last born, he started with the slaps, spankings and clit pinching,weird how I saw that as his way of being kinky in the bedroom. But when I got pregnant he stopped putting his hands on my face, ass and thighs to creating a black room corner in our bedroom. The room is dark and small. Being someone who's clastaphobic and afraid of the dark. Being locked in there for 2 hours messes me up alot. As stupid as I sound. I hid that from my kids. When the beatings got too much and learning how not to scream so that I don't alert my kids took only 3 days, I remember my son was 6 months old, he couldn't stop crying for some reason that irritated Ben to a point of penal beating me, what was weird was how he avoided my face, my neck and my arms. When he realized that does nothing to me anymore, that's how I got used to the pain,he resorted to cutting. Oh yes cutting. Small cuts on the inner thighs. Soon as the wounds heel, he does it again. Sometimes he drowns me in the water for merely arguing with him in public. Whenever I disagree with him on anything it doesn't matter if it's small or big, the punishment I will get is huge. Well hiding all of that resulted in me being bitter sometimes, mood swings, shouting at my kids which I feel bad about mostly. Well it's many years later, the pain doesn't get better but I am used to it. I got so used to the pain and the drowning but not the dark room corner, I've grown to tolerate this man, I've grown to act happy in public. We are viewed as thee perfect married people also my kids respect him so much that I'm seen sometimes as the bad guy, Well now I am getting discipled because I cheated. I did but I won't confess that, 5 years of abuse one tends to have sex as just that tool to shut the man up leading that to me not enjoying it, so I went back to an ex that does not mind fucking me. When it comes to the baby issue. I did hire a someone to carry the baby for me, I stole his sperm one of the nights we were having a moment, that was after I saw how miserable he is because he wants another child so bad, he had asked me for a child before I got married to Benedict but I was sceptical about it because I didn't see myself Co parenting with him again, So last year I thought why not? It's not like I won't get punished for it like I am now. Was it worth it? In a sense no. But the baby is here now, I did the baby for Micheal and his wife as painful as it is I do feel guilty for how Ama lost her baby. Now I want to get off this chair and clean myself up because knowing my child as nosy as she is, she definitely did not go to the store like I told her " I swear to you I didn't cheat but we will continue this later baby please, I know Kimberly,she will come back just to prove a point" I beg him, he looks at me and sighs, one thing about him, he likes the respect he gets from people. The praises and all. " go take a shower I'll prepare the injection" he unties me, and helps me to the shower,  well the injection part hmm that is to numb the pain. So that I can act properly and not embarrass him. I hate this but my children are happy, my children are at peace,none of them worry about their mother that maybe a man might strangle her and lend her in hospital, things like that give me a sense of peace. Though I do get tired of the treatment. I've learnt to live with it and I intend to live with it and act this happy perfect couple thing around the public and my kids for as long as I can. Have I thought of divorce? Many times,plenty of times I just never acted on it. As far as people know I am the happiest and I will love to keep it that way.  I shower, he puts ointment on some of the wounds and injects me. As I get dressed, simple leggings and a big T shirt. My face is a lil bit red, could simply excuse that for energy used in 'sex'. I'm now just laying on my stomach on the bed while Ben is going to take a shower, I see he cleaned up the water on the floor and blood. Like I said my child will come back. That's her knocking " mamzo open up!" well that's one voice I didn't want to hear haibo 😳😳I quickly rise from the bed, that sounds like Andile, his now pounding on the door" break my door and you will replace it my boy, I don't know with which money because you're broke " I say that as I go open, soon as I open I am met by confused faces" haibo why are you knocking at my door like th-"I didn't even get to finish my sentence when he started touching my face, more like rubbing it, is this boy checking for something? poked my arm and looked at Kimberly who's face is weird" and then Nina? "I asked folding my arms" my husband is showering let's get out my room "they nod, we do as we walk downstairs" I thought you're having a heart attack, Kim nkosiyam mama looks fine njena!? "he questions her making me look back at Kim" why won't I be okay? Haibo baby whats the matter? " she's speechless now" I just found it weird when you were not opening mama"i frown, this is what I did not miss or want for my children. The worrying, the panic hence why I hide it" and you called your brother to come and do what? Didn't I say I am doing old people's business? " I question, well I feel bad but tog this is the type of thing I avoid when I don't scream or cry out loud when Ben is having his episodes."she was worried mamzo I get it, are you sure you are fine? I don't need to know your bedroom business" I nod at Andile at question as we sit. But my baby girl looks horrible "are you fine baby? Is It because of the rumors?" she nods "what did you think was happening in my room when you came home today? I thought you coming back tomorrow even" I ask worried

Kimberly

Guys😲👀this woman. My mom is looking at us straight in the eyes acting fine. How did she even clean up that fast in 20 minutes? Also what happened to her pain? I look at her defeated " nothing mama, but you always have your room open, uhm I don't know really" I sigh cause I am defeated, she frowns" like I said Kimberly, nawe Andile be sure to tell Tj, I only donated my egg for Micheal's child. I just didn't want the public to know, I really just wanted him and his wife to welcome the baby and be happy nje Bana baka hle. I spoke with my husband and he understands " I just give her a look, see her lying through her teeth, Andile is understanding but I'm not understanding shit. I saw what I saw and I'm sticking by it. Why she's holding on to that torture beats me really" I understand mama, you had your reasons, you didn't kill anyone. But you should have given us a heads up atleast " Andile says as she nods" true true, I am sorry my angel for alarming you like that. I am okay I promise you " I just nod, Hao what will I say" uhm let me go to the store, bro please drop me off" I'm so over this, I hug her and inspect how her face reacts but zero pain. Was I imagining that scene?Andy hugs her as well as they say goodbyes, still no sign of pain or discomfort Hao bethunana I think I'm going crazy " see you at diner time" off we go. The minute we got into the car I started blabbing " I saw uncle Ben slap and choke mana today, not long before you came. Bro I think things happen in that room that we don't know off" he sighs"i may have not experienced the abuse mama faced with you guys but don't you think we will know by now had he been abusing her? In this case I think it's mama that's abusing that quiet man" I roll my eyes" i am telling you what I saw njena. " he sighs" let's assume you are right, and I attach that man based on the information you are giving me, then later it comes out you made it up. What would become of me Kim? " I sigh" I know what I saw and I don't understand why mom is tolerating such nonsense in silence. His good I give him that. I just hope by the time you all catch on it won't be too late for mom to get out "now his thinking and sighing, I know what I saw and I intend to do something about it soon.

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#NotEdited please excuse any mistakes