Beyond The Pages || Halal KTH Book

•5 𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭_

Yashal's pov

Kashaf came outside to find me as I was already there looking at the road. Kashaf looked up at me and said..

"Unnie are you here, what are you watching..are you okay" she asked innocently while shaking My hand to pay attention to her.. I looked at her for some moments and said.."nothing princess let's go home.."

Kashaf narrowed eyes and asked..." Am I daydreaming you wanna go home without eating a burger. "

" Huh, what do you think I would not have eaten before you.." I replied while walking to the road for a cab showing that I'm okay.

"Couldn't even wait for me, from whom I'm expecting good huh "

She said while shaking head but I was dumb all

We both sat in the cab all the way. I was quietly looking at the road from the window but My thoughts were somewhere else, eyes fixed on the window but my mind was not present at that time..

When I reached home, I greeted my Eomma, but without seeing anyone my mother looked at me carefully. She knew me very well. Whenever I came home, I used to ask the same thing first... Let me know what's in the meal today, if you need any help you can tell me Eomma but today I was not in this mood so I first go my room and take off abaya Take the clothes out of the closet then headed to the washroom I felt like Kashaf had said something but I don't know how I didn't hear it, after a while I came out refreshed. Starting Hair drying, Drying my hair was the most difficult task, at that time I decided to cut it or throw it away. Then I remembered his words,

your hair is beautiful, don't you think they are just a little longer

There were all the things that reminded me of him at that time...

Again and again that scene, that moment was revolving in my eyes, each and every image of his face became stopped in my eyes, like a painter remembering someone's face features for his art,

His eyes, his eyes traveling from one eye to the other of mine, was dominating my heartbeat faster. I didn't realize that I was standing in front of the mirror rubbing my hair, thinking about him, when will I finally stop thinking about him.

Sometimes apologizing for a mistake is better than being forgiven

The way he turned his back on me, will he forgive me? I still had remember the way he turn his eyes away from me and walk away with his glasses on, even though his every move felt like he was mocking me.just don't want my presence

"Huh" this time I'm having fun. At that time, he was the one who respected me and I humiliated him. He was permissible to turn away from me. he was also permissible to complain to me, but he left without complaining, that's what killed me

Sometimes not complaining is also a complaint

I took a breath and put on a hijab and stood up to offer Salah. I didn't even see my bubbly ( yah there is alot of name of my cat's name) she used to open her eyes as soon as I came from My university or Madarsa. She started circling down on my legs as to getting my attention but I had started Salah

I am punctual to my prayers after that day that maybe my Allah will forgive me, but even Allah does not forgive until people are forgiven. I found my Allah, he introduced himself to me, I stopped writing novels, mostly now I work on tadabbur and tafsir, comforting myself with the Quran. The Qur'an healed me. I cried so much while reading the Qur'an that I never cried for anyone in front of anyone again. But I still did not forget that day. I used to pray to Allah that one day he would give me a chance to tell him about my cleanliness but he didn't come back. I tried a lot but he didn't come.