blazing hearts | andy herrera

two.

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"i- i can't do this," sam stuttered, taking one last look at 'brooke' before turning to leave. she heard footsteps behind her, her name being called out but her ears felt blocked, her feet carrying her along without any thought of where she was going.

she passed the rest of the crew, her eyes distant as she stared emotionlessly at them all as she passed, the others eyeing her with concern. she soon reached the doors that brought her outside, bringing her hands to her knees as she struggled to catch her breath. she hadn't had a panic attack in over a year, and she sure as hell wasn't going to break that streak today.

using the technique that was taught to her by her old therapist, she brought a clenched fist to her chest, holding it there as she took deep breaths in and out. she closed her eyes as she counted the breaths in her head, slowly regaining control, her breathing eventually returning to normal.

she slowly opened her eyelids, her eyes falling on two shoes in front of her. but not the shoes she was expecting. lifting her head, her eyes met those belonging to victoria hughes. as she stood, she took a quick glance around, looking for the ghost of her past.

"jo didn't want to follow," vic explained, seeing the panic look from sam as she looked around. "said she didn't want to overwhelm you."

"w-wh- who?"

"right, uh, sorry - brooke," vic corrected herself awkwardly before sending a pitiful look to the girl in front of her. "are you okay?"

"you know that expression - you look like you've seen a ghost?" sam asked, vic nodding in confirmation, confusion evident in her features. "well, i have. that's what that was, right? i mean, it had to be. i had a funeral for brooke. granted, i mean - there was no body but i grieved... i grieved brooke," she rambled, looking at vic for any cob-oration that she was right. that she didn't just see her dead best friend standing in front of her. sam slowly slid down the wall she was leaning against until she was sat on the ground, her eyes fixed ahead of her as her mind went a million miles an hour.

vic made her way over, sliding down to sit beside the girl in the hopes of offering some comfort.

"it was a ghost, right?" sam asked tenderly, her face displaying nothing but vulnerability as she looked at vic.

"no, sam. it wasn't," she confirmed, feeling sam's head slump against her shoulder.

"she's waiting for me in there, isn't she?" sam sighed, not ready to face the person she thought she'd lost.

"yeah, she is."

sam scoffed, shaking her head in amusement. "what the hell do you say to someone you thought was dead?"

"glad you didn't go to hell?" vic remarked sarcastically, electing a laugh from the chambers girl. vic stood to her feet then, wiping the dirt from trousers before holding her hands out to help sam up. sam tilted her head up at vic's outstretched hand, grasping them as she allowed vic to pull her to her feet.

sam stared at the doors that separated her and the emotions she buried behind her a long time ago. she didn't know what brooke was going to say, and she definitely didn't know how she herself would react.

"i- i don't think this is a good idea," sam stuttered, her feet rooted to the spot as she stared blankly at the double doors in front of her. "no, it's not. i can't do this right now. i can't."

"you don't have to," vic said softly, taking sam's hand in hers. "i'll go in, okay? tell her you'll contact her when you're ready." sam nodded slowly, vic letting go of her hand to walk inside. sam watched her disappear through the double doors, her heart pounding as she pictured brooke's face while vic told her she wasn't ready. when would she ever be ready? she grieved many years ago after losing her best friend, not a trace to be found of her. sam searched for years before finally giving up and facing the fact that brooke was gone. and now, here she is, a doctor at a hospital in the same city sam moved to with the hopes of forgetting the pain of the past.