I'm always here for you | buck x Eddie/ Buddie

you were right

TW: shelf harm

We sit on my couch and in silence

"I have to go to the toilet" I say and go into the toilet and lock it

I take the razor blade and take off my bandage and do it again

Everything they said went through my head

There is a knock on the door

"Buck are you okay" Eddie asks

I check my arm

"Mm I'm fine" I reply

I didn't realize I had started to cry I wipe my tears and wash my wounds And put on a new bandage

I rinse my razor and I take on my shirt and walk out of the bathroom

Eddie is in the kitchen with a beer

"Here" he says and sends a beer

I stretch to reach it

"Ouch" I hiss and Eddie looks at me

"Has something happened" he asks

"I just happened to stretch my arm at the gym" I lie

He doesn't really believe me completely but he lets it go

We drink beer and then Eddie takes an Uber home

*** the next day***

Madde called and asked if we could talk before my shift and I said okay

/watch the end of episode 5 and until 11:25 of episode 6

We received a call that a home is burning bad

We went in and took out a woman and a man

I took off the gas-mask and put on my helmet

The man coughs "Alice - Joakim" he says

"Who is it sir" Hen asks

"Our children" says the man

children are still in there

I run into the house and I hear Bobby yell my name

I run up the stairs because we found parents downstairs

I'm coughing because I'm not wearing the gas-mask but I don't care I have to find the kids

"ALICE" "JOAKIM" I call

I find a room and when I enter I see a girl and a boy unconscious on the floor

I take them in my arms and place their heads towards me so they don't inhale so much smoke and run down the stairs where I meet Eddie

I run out of the house and hen and chimney comes runing and takes the kids and eddie comes behind me

"Buck how could you not have a gas-mask" he yells quietly

"I-I'm fine" I cough a little

We go to the fire truck and hen comes runing and bobby

"Buck" says Bobby but I cut him off
"Yes yes I know I wouldn't have done it" I say

"We'll talk later now let hen examine you" says Bobby

"I'm fine cap" I say trying to wriggle out of it

"You let hen examine you" Bobby says sternly

I sit on the fire truck and she examines me and I panic when she takes my blood pressure because I don't want her to see my bandash so I try to talk her into taking it on the other arm and she does.

When I look at Eddie he looks at me wonderingly

"buck you're fine just drink a lot of water and let me know if you start coughing a lot" she says and we go back to the station

***

We've finished our shift and I've been scolded by Bobby

Me and Eddie are the only ones left who have finished our shift chimney and hen has a 24 hour shift today.

"So why did you panic when
Hen were going to examine you? You've been acting strange" Eddie says

"It's nothing," I say

"Buck I know you and I know when you're lie" he says

"Just let it go" I say and raise my voice and get out of the firehose and drive home

***later in the evening***

I struggled and think again and cut myself again

Now it got a little worse, I happened to cut a little too deap

"SHIT" I say

I take paper to my wound and I take my phone and call Eddie

"Buck what-" Eddie says tiredly but I cut him off

"Sorry Eddie, you were right, I did something stupid again" I say

"Buck did you hurt yourself" he asks

"Mm sorry- can you come over" I say

"Yes, I'll be over in 10," he says

I take the band-aid and tie it around until the biggest wound and then I put a bandage on it and when I've wrapped my whole under arm, Eddie comes into my bathroom

There is sadness in his gaze

"Buck why" he asks

I leave the bathroom and we sit on the couch

"I'm having another episode of depression and with everything that's happened I relapset" I say

"How long have you had depression episodes" he asks

"Since I was little and I've always injured myself so my parents would care but then it became a way to cope" I say

"How can I help you" Eddie asks

"I don't know" I answer

We talk for an hour until Eddie says

"Come home with me, you're not going to sleep alone tonight"

"Okay" we pack a bag for me and go to Eddie's

When we are ready, I sleep in Eddie's guest room

****
I wake up to Christopher running to my bed with his crutches

"BUCK" he shouts in joy

"Hey buddy how are you" I say

"Very good, extra good when you're here," he says

I put on my huddie/he slept in a t-shirt and shorts/

we go to the kitchen and eddie brings out cereal and a sandwich and orange juice and we eat and we go to the station and when we get there I see the people I don't want to see

my parents....

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