tw: miscarriage
Travis and I are sleeping peacefully next to each other when suddenly I jolt awake at the sharp pain in my stomach. What the fuck? I think to myself while sitting up and wrapping my arms around my abdomen.
I took a pregnancy test about 3 weeks ago and it came back positive. Although this baby wasn't necessarily planned, I couldn't bring myself to get an abortion. Travis and I are also getting older and if we want kids then it needs to happen pretty soon anyway. So, we decided together to keep the baby.
Now, though, it's the middle of the night and I know something's wrong. I should wake up Travis, I thought. No, it could be nothing. He has to wake up early, leave him be, The voice in my head tells me.
I feel a wave of heat come over me, like the heat you feel when you step outside on a warm summer day. I push the fluffy comforter off of my lap, and that's when I see it. Blood. A lot of blood. And even though I really wish I didn't, I know exactly what's happening right now.
I look over at Travis for a moment and decide it would be best to wake him up. I shake his shoulder and eventually his hazel eyes open to meet my teary blue ones.
"Taylor, honey, what's wrong? Why are you up?" He asks.
I try to find the words to respond but feel a knot growing in my throat when I go to speak. Travis notices how choked up I am and sits up to look at the rest of my body. He sees the patches of blood under me and his face immediately turns sad.
"Baby girl..." He whispers. Travis knows I probably can't talk right now so he doesn't expect me to respond. "We should probably go to the bathroom, princess." He tells me, standing up and placing a kiss on my forehead.
Travis reaches his hand out for me to take, and after a couple seconds of wiping the tears from my cheeks, I grab his arm. He walks me to the bathroom and gives me some space to undress, which I appreciate. The last thing I need right now is for him to make me feel claustrophobic.
Once i've finished taking off all my clothes, I walk in front of the shower where Travis is and just stand in front of him. He takes this as his cue to hold me and lets me lay my head against his chest. We stay like that for what feels like forever until Travis pulls away to speak.
"Do you want to take a shower?" He asks politely. I obviously need a shower right now, there's literally blood drying on my legs, but I want to be held just a few moments longer.
"Yes. In a second." I manage to choke out.
Travis reaches behind us and twists the shower handle until it reaches the temperature he knows I like. Once the shower is set and ready, he turns back around to me and lets me stay in his embrace a little longer.
"I love you baby girl. It'll all be okay." He tells me. I appreciate his sentiments, but I know it won't all be okay. How could everything possibly be okay after this?
I lift my head up to look at him and pull away from his arms. I step into the shower and just stand there with my head in my hands.
"Tay, do you want me to help you shower or do you want to be alone?"
"Help. Please." I say as loud as I can, but in reality it's only a whisper.
I hear Travis shuffling around outside and assume he's taking his clothes off and grabbing towels for us. He joins me in the shower and I can't seem to do anything but lean on him. He lets me just stand there for as long as I want, which is exactly what I need right now. Eventually, though, the steam from the hot shower water starts to bother me and I want to get out.
I pull away from Travis and he uses this as an opportunity to help me clean up. He grabs the body wash and gently rubs it up and down by body. He's so careful with me that sometimes I wonder if he thinks i'm made of glass. Right now, though, gentle is perfect. It's just what I want.
Once he finishes washing my body and getting the soap rinsed off, he turns off the shower and steps out to grab me a towel.
Travis wraps the towel around me and helps me step out of the shower. He walks over to my dresser to get a loose pajama set and dresses me the way a parent would dress their toddler.
After both of us finish getting dressed, Travis starts walking back to the bed but sees the dirty sheets and remembers what he originally woke up to. He removes the sheets from the bed and leaves the room, coming back with a new set. I help him put the new sheets on before we both crawl into bed together. He lays on his back and lets me lay practically on top of him with my head on his chest.
Travis whispers sweet nothings into my ear and stays awake rubbing my back until he knows I'm asleep.
A few hours later, once the sun has come up and it's the time Travis usually leaves for work, I wake up and notice Travis is still in bed with me.
"Trav, you have work. You need to get up."
"I called in sick. I think we should stay home today, Tay."
I don't respond but he sees the slight smile come onto my face before I return to my original position on top of him.
"What do you want for breakfast?" He asks me, but I just sigh.
"Tay, I don't expect you to eat a lot, but you need a little something. You can't just starve."
I let him make breakfast for the two of us which we eat together in bed. Travis spends the rest of the day cuddling me and after a few hours we talk about what happened and he reassures me that it will all work out in the end.
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A/N: this one was honestly kind of a lot for me to write so I hope it's at least sort of good 🤞🏼
sorry for the abrupt ending , i really struggle with the first and last few sentences of one shots for some reason
what do we think of a one shot with this same general idea but if taylor didn't know she was pregnant..???
hope everyone's doing good!! 💕 i love you guys and my dms are always open of anyone ever just wants to talk 🫶🏼
