In December's cold nights, she was all alone in her room sitting on the prayer mate talking to Allah,
'Oh Allah it's night time and you are asking me what do I want, ( when it's tahajjud time Allah gets down at the last sky and say: who asks me I'll give him, who will seek forgiveness I'll forgive him - ( the words are mine but the meaning are from an authentic Hadith )
I am sorry Allah for asking such a thing but I want him.
I love him ya Allah, and I can't stop doing that, my heart is in your control, so please help me, make him yours first then mine, make him Muslim and a favorite person to you then make him my life partner, please Allah, please."......
She was crying and her tears were continually falling on her cheeks, her eyes were swollen up because she was crying continually...
And that's how it goes, she knew she can do nothing now, the only hope is Allah, he is the only who can turn the impossible into possible.....
..................
3 months later
"Hi".
Her friend Maha waved to her, they were childhood friends, she flew away from Pakistan a few years ago, but the distance between them didn't affect their friendship and they remained friends online.
"Assalamualaikum, how are you jagiya ( darling) "???
She said excitedly while hugging her.
"Fine Alhamdulillah, and you, 잘 지내셨어요?( How have you been doing? )"
"Alhamdulillah". She replied..
They both have been learning Korean for more than a year and now they were able to speak, understand,read and even write much.
"Let's go"....
The happiness of meeting each other, feeling each other after a long time was over whelming so they just got immersed in their chatting while sitting on roof top of her house, suddenly maha said:
"I want to tell you something Y/N".
"What is it "?
"You know Taehyung, I dreamed of him a few days ago".
"Oh , really" ? Her heart skipped a beat at his name but she tried to maintain her serious gesture.
"Yes but you look normal, isn't this is shocking that I saw him in my dream, though it wasn't that much clear but still"...
She stayed silent, of course she can't tell her that most of her dreams are about him, and amazingly she even remembers all the details like she is living those dreams, so she smiled and said teasingly.
"Why ? Do you like him" ?
"Yes I think I do".
A moment of silence filled the scene, then maha broke it :
"I think I am into him, though yaar he is not Muslim, but I pray that he will be soon..."
she was so excited and went on how she is imagining her life with him but Y/N was totally shaken off, she was listening to her quietly while ignoring her heart who was screaming:
"Tell her that you don't want to listen about him, cause you are pretending now to hate him but still love him so it hurts now, tell her please that she should stop talking about him or your mind will explode, even your eyes might lose their control, tell her that few days ago you forced me to forget him, and now when I am trying hard, she is ruining my all efforts by reminding me of my first love, 제발 (please) tell her that i am tearing apart because I miss him so badly now".
Her heart was screaming inside but she was silent outside, smiling and teasing her friend about the person who was her whole universe, her everything, her love, her hate, her happiness, her pain, her laugh, her tears, he was the whole world for her but, she decided to give up on him, cause she can't get him...
........................................
🎵 (Love me like you do by Ellie Goulding )
You're the light, you're the night
You're the colour of my blood
You're the cure, you're the pain
You're the only thing I wanna touch
Never knew that it could mean so much, so much
You're the fear, I don't care
'Cause I've never been so high
Follow me through the dark
Let me take you past our satellites
You can see the world you brought to life, to life
So Love me like you do, la-la-love me like you do (like you do)
Love me like you do, la-la-love me like you do (ye-yeah)
Touch me like you do, ta-ta-touch me like you do
What are you waiting for?
I'll let you set the pace
'Cause I'm not thinking straight
My head's spinning around, I can't see clear no more
What are you waiting for?........
.....................................
A month ago.....
(WHEN SHE BROKE UP WITH HER LOVE WHOM SHE NEVER DATED, WHEN SHE DECIDED TO GIVE UP ON HER LOVE AND MOVE ON)
but she couldn't.....
She just returned back from her college and was ready to take a nap and rest for a while after having a tough day, but a disaster was ready to welcome her,
"There are some aunties who came, so go prepare tae and some snacks to serve them, and also get changed in a nice dress, hurry up Y/n! don't be late".
Her mom said as she understood that the guest are here with a marriage proposal.
Her family weren't in a hurry to marry her instead she was allowed to complete her studies, but of course she had been the center of attention, being an ideal girl for people, beautiful, tall, smart,educated, and on top of that belongs to a religious family so she does full hijab.
Obviously there were so many proposals though her parents don't agree because of her young age,
but obviously one day they will agree when they will find a good match for her,
"But can I do that? No way, I say that I love Tae and I want him, but what If I became someone else's wife, won't I be cheating? he will think that I am a modest girl with no ex, no next, and my heart is purely for him, while in reality I have someone in my heart, a person who can never be mine, like why and why??? I should have kept my heart pure and clean, how can I dirty it?
No that's enough! I can't love him anymore, let's stop here oppa, let's break up, I need to move on to focus on my life, I can't stay like this my whole life, I don't want to deceive my real life partner for someone like you, I can't wait for you any longer, I am sorry Taehyung! My love wasn't real, I am sorry for desciving you, but let's stop all this rubbish and please get out of my mind, please let me forget you and move on, please let me get out of this regret that I love you, I am sorry Taehyung but I am tired now, I gave up, I wasn't a true lover and I am sorry about that".
And untill Today she was just suffering, fighting herself, her own mind, her own heart, she was doing everything that can make her give up on him, she even searched ( worst facts about Kim Taehyung ) , (Kim Taehyung's worst photos) so that maybe she can find something that make her fall out of love but even the internet was Tae's biased.
Once she was a person who is always asking Allah to make him mine but now she was asking Allah to forget everything about him, take him out of her heart and throw him away, cause
She hated that she loves him....
.
.............................
🎵
Snappin one two
where are you
Still in my heart ❤️
Snappin Three Four
Don't need you anymore
Get out of my mindddd
..............................
To be continued
Sooo guys how's the story?
I hope the other silent readers can also comment and tell me about their thoughts so that I can get more inspiration, anyway this story is gonna be interesting from now....
So keep reading...
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#Kim hadia
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Hate to love you. K.T.H
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