The One That Got Away {Promise: Book One}

8. Chasing A Ghost

Trigger warning for self-harm in this chapter

8 | Billie Joe

I pick at my skin and hear the clock tick.

Tick tock.

Tick tock.

Tick tock.

Every second which passes, I'm stricken by another thought of her. Her smile. Her smooth skin. Her brown, straight hair which used to be locked in a strict ponytail.

I scratch the same spot on my arm until I draw blood, before moving to another spot.

She doesn't love me, or maybe she does. Fuck. Who knew feelings were so confusing? One second she's kissing me, then the next she's telling me to get out of her apartment.

I scrape more skin off, drawing more blood.

I should stop, I look like a fucking psychopath, sat on my bathroom floor, scratching at my skin until it bleeds, all for some girl who doesn't like me back.

What am I saying? She's not a girl. She's a goddess in the flesh. An angel walking among us, sent by God to bring light into the world.

I am the devil, the one who blew out her candle.

I pick up my phone and begin to scroll instagram. I found her account last night, and spent the better part of an hour stalking it. She's had the same account since high-school, and in the pictures I watched as her smile slowly come back after graduation.

My heart beats as I click onto a photo.

It's one of her, in her signature dark green jacket, which she wore everyday, partnered with jeans and a black tee of some band I don't recognise. She's on a balcony, resting against a railing, with a spectacular city view behind her. The picture was posted four years ago, celebrating her 19th birthday.

God, she's fucking beautiful. And I'll be damned if I lost her.

Along with personal pictures, there's a few pictures of her professional photography.

Pictures of models, items, brands and clothing mix in with the personal shit, but I ignore all the photographs that aren't of her, no matter how great her work is.

I click on another photo of her. Then another. Then another. I reset her page, hoping she's posted something else.

Luckily for me, her story updates.

As I press on her profile picture, a tall buildings flashes on my screen. I've seen that building before...

It's a construction and real estate company. I've walked past it so many times in my life and I never payed any attention to it. It's a few streets away from Wren's apartment, at the edge of the sea.

The caption reads "Visiting my brother :)" and I tsk, how could she give her location away so easily? Unless...its a sign. She wants me to find her.

No, that can't be it. She doesn't want to see me. She doesn't want me. She doesn't trust me, and I'm too weak to try and change that. Fuck, I'm a creep. Why am I still longing for her? I'll never be strong enough to prove myself to her. I'll always be too weak to fight for her love. I'll just be in the shadows for the rest of my life, dreaming about the 'What If?'.

Unless...

I do fight for her. My mother always taught me that I need to work towards my goals.

Wren is my only goal.

I need to prove to her that I am the one she needs. If my future doesn't include her, then I'd rather die now. I wont let her slip away now. Fuck, I just got her back into my life. I'd be a fool to let her go. Hell, if it doesn't work out, then atleast I tried.

I stand up, wiping the blood from my arm with a tissue. I check her story one last time, analysing the building, making sure I remember the location. In the photo, its still light outside, so this must have been taken earlier, only posted now.

Which means she might be leaving soon.

This is my last chance.