We can't be friends (Kevin)

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Date: March 30th 2024

Sitting in the corner of the room you stare at all the people mingling with each other, laughing and giggling as if everything is normal and going oh so well in their lives when in fact it's crumbling apart.

Taking a sip of the beer which was almost over you look around the room once again when your eyes meet his, staring at you from across the room.

You could feel your heart beating again, the way it started beating loudly made you scared, not because you feared him but because you feared yourself.

You swore to yourself that you had moved on from him. After everything you both went through, you thought it's better if you stayed just as friends but you yourself knew that you both cannot be friends.

Every passing second of the day made you loathe him more, not because he was your ex but because he just decided to give up on your relationship just like that when you decided it was the end.

Keeping the can of bear on the nearest table you found you grabbed your coat and walked away from there. Not being able to sit there and act as if everything was alright when it in fact was not. You knew it was not, he knew it was not.

Date: March 20th 2024

Sitting on the bed you hold the necklace in your hand as you take in a deep breath. You hated arguing with him, in fact you hated when you would snap at each other simply because you both would bottle up your feelings.

The countless misunderstandings you both went through meant nothing at this point when your whole relationship is tearing apart like this.

"What's the point?" You hear Kevin mumble briefly as he sits up from his lying position and places his head in his hands.

You could feel your heart breaking when you heard his voice for the first time ever since the argument you both had in the living.

You muster up the courage and strength to speak as you let out the words which were oh so irritating for someone in his shoes because of the obliviousness "What do you mean?"

You close your eyes when you hear Kevin let out a scoff, "You know what I mean, this is not working out. Whatever we have going on, none of it is working out. We can pretend that it's all fine but deep down you know nothing is. Let's stop wasting each other's time and just..end it." Kevin says that as he stands up from the bed and grabs his coat to walk out of the room.

"Can we still be friends?" You ask him, halting in his steps Kevin turns around and lets out a small sigh when he sees your expectant eyes which were now filled with tears threatening to fall down and roll down your cheeks.

"We can't be friends.." he says as he leaves the room and slams the door of your house shut.

You sit there in silence as you look around the room, on this very bed you celebrated your 20th birthday with him.

"We can't be friends, but I'd just like to pretend..." you mumble to yourself as you bring your legs to your chest and let your tears fall down.

Date: March 30th 2024
Time: 12:47 PM

Walking down the street you hug yourself closer as you look up at the sky, it was empty which made you smile but it had no feelings.

You stop walking when you hear footsteps behind you, turning your head you could feel your face stiffening when you see Kevin running in your direction.

"Are you going back home?" He says once he is in front of you. Giving him a single nod you start walking again, not being able to stare at him for another second.

Walking in silence you stare at the ground while kicking the stones on the sidewalk. Taking in a deep breath you look up at Kevin who was walking beside you.

In his words he just wanted to make sure you reached home safely. Hence, the reason he decided to accompany you.

"Do you regret it?" You ask suddenly. You notice Kevin stopping in his tracks for a moment only to walk again as he tries to act nonchalant.

"Regret what?" He asks softly as he looks down at you, his eyes looking like daydreams. You still remember how you always felt seen and heard at night.

For you night is when you can finally be yourself, you don't have to hide yourself anymore.

"Us breaking up..."

Letting out a deep breath Kevin looks at you with a small smile as he holds your hand guides you towards the end of the footpath to sit down on the ground.

"We needed to put an end to our story Y/N...I did not want to continue feeding on the monstrous fire which was increasing day by day. It's difficult, yeah...but that's the best for us." He says softly as he holds your hands in hid for comfort.

"It's hard. Really hard. I don't know how you're acting all fine.." you tell him as you pull your hand away from him.

"I am not fine if that's what you're wondering. I tell myself countless times to just wait for you to come back but then I was the one who broke up with you. I wish we could still be friends but I cannot get myself to do it. I cannot pretend to be your friend when I know I want more than that." He says as he lets out a small sob.

"I can wait for you. I can wait for your love, I can do that.." you say as you try to stop yourself from crying over this again.

Shaking his head he lets your hand go as he stands up and helps you stand up.

"Can I just say one thing?" You say softly, your words coming out slurred as the alcohol starts getting to you. Giving you a small nod he helps you walk towards your house, "Know that you made me the happiest person when we were together. I couldn't ask for more than what we had...it feels like you left me hanging by myself but I know I would have to move on and let this story die."

You say everything in one go as you cough and hiccup. You notice Kevin opening his mouth to speak again but you stop him by putting your finger up telling him that you want to continue and that you're not done yet, "For now, it's only me but...but I'd like to pretend that we're still friends, okay?" You say as you look at him with your expectant eyes.

"Okay...whatever you say.." he says softly as he looks down at your shining eyes which were staring back up at him. "Maybe that's all you need to move on from me.." he says, mostly to himself but you catch onto it but he doubts you'd remember all this in the morning tomorrow.

Reaching your door steps he helps you stand straight as he looks through your bag to find your keys.

"You keep on clinging to your papers and pens, yeah?" You say softly in a joking manner as you enter the house and slam the door shut on his face.

Letting out a small chuckle Kevin looks at your door as he takes a step back, stuffing his hands in his pockets he takes a one last look at your door and walks away.

That's an end to a story then, something which was bittersweet. There are some moments he wishes he could forget all together but most of them are the ones he cherishes the most and that's what matters to him.

You guys maybe strangers to each other now but the time you both spent as lovers was some of the most valuable ones.

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