Generation trauma | I

chapter 7 | task

A B R A X A S

My nerves are on the edge since the conversation with Riddle. Every day I expect something to happen. Something bad.

This feeling is eating me up and the problem is - I don't even know what that feeling is. Regret? Maybe. But there is also something else.
Something that is laying my nerves blank to the open, letting them go over needles.

I can't do this anymore, I need to do-

It knocks on the door. I almost fall out of bed, cradled into the blanket but manage not to fall out. So I go to the door and open it.

Before me stands Tom, dressed up in the Slytherin uniform. "Riddle..." My eyebrows shoot upward.

"I have something for you to do," he says blunt, his voice cold a he pushes me on the shoulder and I stumble a bit backwards.

He uses that as opportunity and goes into my dorm without invitation. Riddle's eyes scan the place, until they land on Whiskey. "Didn't knew you had a cat," he huffs.

I close the door behind me before speaking up, ignoring the comment he made about Whiskey, "What is it that you want me to do?" I ask, looking at him.

He gets a sheet of paper out of his pocket and hands it to me. I unfold it carefully, reading what stands in there. I raise a brow, "Why do you need these books?" I ask.

Riddle rolls his eyes, "Can you get them for me or can you not?" he asks back, not answering my question. Resisting the urge to hit him I nod, "I can see what I can do. But I cannot reassure you to get all of them," is everything I give him for an answer.

He nods, "Maybe you find something in the restricted section or you find it in your own library."

My eyebrows go up further. "Could be, but I would have to wait until holidays to go into the library in Malfoy Manor," I tell him.

He huffs and rolls his eyes, "I'm not stupid, Malfoy. Ask one of your house elves to search for the books. You should have enough of those." His voice was sharp and demanding, not letting space for contradiction.

So I stayed quiet and just nodded lightly. Had to inform Feech if he could search for it without one of my parents noticing. "Alright," I hear myself say without meaning to speak actually.

Riddle looked satisfied with the outcome of this conversation and turns on his heel to the door, but stops before opening it and looks over his shoulder at me, his grin eyes having a spark of danger in them. "Oh, and Malfoy, do me the favour and get some amethyst." After saying that he leaves.

Not even a 'goodbye' or a nod of approval, he just leaves. Douchebag.

I start to truly doubt my decisions. I've sworn myself never to order myself under Riddle. A mudblood in my families eyes.

I'm stupid. All that just because of what?
Because I started to crave his touch?
Because I wanted him to bed me? Great, now I feel like a horny rabbit.

Probably I was just that though. A horny rabbit that just wanted to get fucked. The thing is, no girl could give me the pleasure I crave because — fuck. I wanted to be used. I want to wake up in the morning with a sore ass but a smile on my face because it was worth it. Waking up in Riddle's arms...

I fall down onto my bed and look at the list that Tom had given to me. These books were questionable. I have a bad feeling about it. Or maybe that feeling comes from my trousers that are getting a bit tight as my mind drifts off to Riddle's perfect lips.

I would pay millions to have him suck me off. The bare thought made my trousers become tighter by the second. I need to think of something else.

Taking a deep breath to clear my mind, I start thinking about a clearing in the woods, birds chirping, green trees, a lake near the clearing. My pulse comes down, my trousers become comfortable again.

The task. I had to concentrate on the fucking books if I want Riddle to trust me. So, standing up from bed I quickly write a note to Feech so he would look through the library in Malfoy Manor. Tonight I would simply sneak into the restricted section to see if I find there any of these books.

Really stupid actually, to make a restricted section into the library and think students wouldn't get noisy to see what is there. It's like a magnet this section. Instead that they simply bring these books into the school dungeons where no student would think of our see them.

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I'm sorry that it took so long but I had first no clue what to write. The next chapter will be longer again.

Yours, Theo