Rewrite the Rules

Unpacking the Past: Part 33

The absurdity of it all hit me then, a wave of bitter realization. Here I was, privileged beyond measure, and yet, the support I craved most seemed just as out of reach as the moon.

"But listen," I continued, my voice catching, "there's more. This whole ordeal made me acutely aware of something...something I probably shouldn't even admit."

Namjoon leaned closer, his gaze unwavering. "Tell me," he said gently, his touch on my hand a silent promise of understanding.

"I realized how incredibly lucky I am," I confessed, a tremor in my voice. "Millions of people out there wouldn't have this second chance, wouldn't have the resources I did. There are people who don't have a safety net, parents to rescue them, the wealth to buy time for healing."

A heavy silence descended upon us, punctuated only by the faint hum of the air conditioner. It was clear Namjoon sensed there was more to my story.

"There's more, isn't there?" Namjoon's voice was a soft rumble, his gaze holding a quiet intensity that saw right through me.

"The sound of the helicopter blades," I began, "it sliced through the air like a knife, the whop-whop-whop resonating in my bones. It felt like a scene from a movie, surreal and terrifying at the same time."

Namjoon's hand reached out, his thumb gently brushing away a stray tear that escaped. "Don't stop. Tell me everything. No judgment."

With a shaky breath, I plunged back into the memory. "My dad finally texted. Just two words – 'Come out.' It felt like a lifeline thrown across a vast ocean. I grabbed my purse, the only familiar comfort in the suffocating condo, and walked out the door without a word. There was nothing left to say in that place, not anymore."

"He had landed in the soccer field behind the condo." The frantic escape, the roar of the helicopter blades overhead, all played out in my mind's eye like a scene from a bad dream. Yet, the raw emotions attached to it were all too real.

"We landed near home within the hour," I continued, my voice barely above a whisper. "Fuzzy pajamas, a steaming cup of tea – it felt like a lifetime away from the chaos I'd left behind."

A humorless chuckle escaped my lips. "The doctor wasn't exactly impressed with my condition," I admitted, forcing a lightness I didn't quite feel. "Malnourished, anemic, exhausted – I'm sure they thought I was on something much harder."

"What happened next?" He asked.

"One sec," he mumbled, wiping away another tear. Raising my voice slightly, he called out to the imposing figure by the door. "Excuse me! Would it be possible to get some orange juice? And maybe...three fingers of whiskey for the lady? On the rocks, please."

The bouncer, momentarily taken aback, simply nodded and disappeared down the hallway. The tension in the room seemed to ease a fraction, replaced by a sliver of hope. This wasn't the ending I'd envisioned, but with Namjoon by my side, perhaps it could be a new beginning, one built on trust and understanding.

I watched him return, the clinking of glasses a welcome sound. He handed me the orange juice, a silent offering of comfort. Taking a sip, the sweet citrus tang jolted my taste buds, a startling reminder of the normalcy I craved. He took a big drink of the whisky.

"I quit school," I began, the words tumbling out in a rush. "Went to our Caribbean Island to recover. Yeah, I know, not exactly a hardship story," I added, a bitter laugh escaping my lips. "I know how that sounds."

A flicker of a smile played on Namjoon's lips. "You don't hear that every day," he conceded.

"Exactly," I whispered, a tear tracing a silent path down my cheek. "Lucky, some might say." The weight of the unspoken hung heavy in the air – the guilt, the shame, the unearned privilege.

"They didn't ask questions," I continued, my voice catching. "Not a single one." A fresh wave of tears threatened to spill over, a dam threatening to burst.

Suddenly, a memory surfaced, a glimmer of hope amidst the darkness. "In September, I started a new school back east," I said, a spark of defiance igniting within me. "Took on a nickname, but no one connected the dots. Or maybe they just didn't care."

I took a deep breath, feeling a sliver of my former strength returning. "Dyed my hair, gained weight, got a tan – the whole college student makeover. And the best part? Completely by chance, both Samina and Daisy ended up at the same university."

A sense of wonder washed over me as I recounted this twist of fate. Looking at Namjoon, I saw a mixture of emotions reflected in his eyes – empathy, surprise, a dawning respect. He raised his glass to his lips, the amber liquid disappearing in a single swallow. We sat in silence for a minute, the weight of my story hanging in the air between us. Now, the ball was in his court. Would he see past the carefully constructed facade of the socialite?

A wry smile tugged at the corner of Namjoon's lips. "So, college with your old friends under a new identity? Must have been quite the experience reconnecting with them."

"Oh, it was something else, alright," I exclaimed, wiping away a fresh tear that escaped down my cheek.

"The library. Of all places," I continued, shaking my head. "There I was, nose deep in a textbook, trying to reclaim some semblance of normalcy, when a voice cut through the silence." I mimicked Samina's incredulous tone, my voice laced with amusement. "So, was Tommy Hilfiger having a sale?"

The sheer absurdity of it all sent me into another wave of giggles, punctuated by hiccups and choked sobs. Namjoon's reaction was swift and unexpected. He reached out, his arms pulling me into a warm embrace. The sudden contact startled me, but the safety and comfort it offered sent a wave of relief washing over me.

"You know, Emma," he murmured, his voice a soothing rumble against my ear, "your strength and resilience truly amaze me."

"Thank you," I whispered, leaning into his embrace. "That means a lot coming from you."

He held me for a minute longer, the silence between us a comfortable blanket. Then, he gently nudged me back, his gaze holding a question. "Go on," he prompted.

"Then, entered BTS into mylife."