Something Blue: A Taskmaster Fanfiction

Late Night Talking

Ed smiled to himself as he absentmindedly stirred two very milky cups of tea. James was over, the two of them having ended up at his house after another successful recording of their Off Menu podcast.

He was more than ready to go to bed by now, or if not that to at least relax, maybe read a book or watch a film or something. However, James had offered to have just one more cuppa and Ed, being far too nice for his own good, couldn't say no.

"Oh, fuck off!" James suddenly shouted from on the sofa, startling him.

"What's up?" Ed asked, his eyes fixed on the two mugs in front of him - they weren't very interesting; just commemoration mugs from the then Prince Charles and the late Princess Diana's wedding. They were his mum's, he presumed, a pair he'd intended to throw away but had forgotten to sort out.

"Taskmaster's on next." James simply said. "It's good, don't get me wrong, but it'd better not be my series."

"Is someone embarrassed that they didn't win and their best friend did?" Ed teased, handing him the mug with Charles's face on it. "Here you are."

James didn't even try and take a sip, looking confusedly at the mug Ed had given him. "Why have you got a mug with this wanker's face on it?"

"I don't know, I just haven't had time to do the pots today and these were the only cups left." Ed said, looking at his own for a moment and smiling fondly at Diana. "I think they were my mum's that I just forgot to chuck out."

"Why do you get Diana, anyway?" James asked, taking a sip. "I'm the one who looks more like her."

Ed sighed. "It's only a mug. Can't you cope for just one drink?"

"Alright, alright!" James defended, holding his hands up. "I'm just saying."

Ed meanwhile had settled himself back into his favourite spot on the sofa, his eyes fixed to the screen. The adverts were just ending and the titles were about to start. He sort of wanted it to be his series, mostly so he could rub it in James' face.

"Please don't be mine." James whispered to himself.

He stared into the milky brown abyss, just waiting for Ed to somehow reveal which series it was. Speak of the devil, he was intently waiting, his fingers wrapped securely around Diana. Then, it happened just as he had hoped.

"Yes!" Ed shouted. "It's series nine time, baby!"

James groaned. Why did it have to be series nine? Couldn't it have been a series that didn't include either of them?

"Shit." Ed suddenly sighed. "I hate this one."

"Hate what one?" James asked hopefully.

"This is the one where David Baddiel and I had to draw pictures on each other's backs." He explained. "I'm still bitter about that task."

James laughed. "Competitive twat!"

Ed, having turned away from James, suddenly jolted back to face him, in the process knocking into the nearly full mug he was holding. Some of the tea spilled from it all over James' shirt, leaving him feeling more than a little annoyed.

"Oh shit James, I'm so sorry!" Ed panicked. "Hold on, I'll get you one of my shirts from upstairs!"

He was about to get up when James grabbed his wrist. He picked up Ed's abandoned drink, dipped a finger in, licking it with a smirk, and then threw it all over him in an act of revenge.

"You little shit." Ed said through gritted teeth. "That's me told, I suppose."

He got up and went to grab them some much drier clothes, leaving James downstairs with Taskmaster still blaring on the telly. James knew better than to change channels, though to be honest he didn't really want to now.