teal (part three) (mini poem collection series)

missing

i don't even wanna try

going through these high highs

and low lows

wondering if you're waiting outside my door

his face changes

with each passing day

wondering why each one ran away

I'm not trying to be cold

i swear

he doesn't seem to ever be there

texting me sweet notes

or driving just to hear me moan

tears seem inevitable

when you're unlovable

I'm joking of course

but I'm not really sure

if i want to sit through another third course

empty eyes

and frowning smiles

endless dates

it's hard to know my fate

i want to be with him

or will i be okay

living in solitude

or tangled in his foreplay

rainy nights

and sleepless afternoons

i want to be kissed under a full moon

i think my love is missing

i can't seem to find him

anything is better than dating online

please don't try it

you might end up

alone and crying

swiping left and right

why are you putting up a fight?

my pants at my ankles

you looking up at me

i just don't know if we are meant to be

i want to fill my soul with so much love

is there anyone out there

willing to give that up?

i think this time i will give it to myself

she's already been through enough hell