This is Pure: Assurance

A Battered Sling and An Edgeless Pebble

Thirty.

Thirty years old, David was anointed king. Through all the turmoil and living a life deemed less in society's eyes, he was finally appointed king at the ripe age of thirty. 

It's never too late. 

God has not forgotten about you. He is still working on you. As a youth, life may seem overwhelming and stagnant; hurdle after hurdle; trial after trial; treachery after treachery; it seems there's no end. There is no end to the constant madness that encompasses you every day. Day and night depression creeps and shadows your every movement, keeping you focused on the elephant in the room. Despite the mistakes you've made, the things you have said, your reminiscent past: you will prevail.

With just a measly sling and rugged stone, this young shepherd boy successfully took out the giant Goliath in one massive blow. Despite the size dissimilarity, David faith increased drastically in God knowing He will provide him with unimaginable strength to defeat this blood-curdling monstrosity. 

Imagine that!

"...Faith as small as a mustard seed..." (Matthew 17:20) is all he possessed to overcome this challenge in his life to progress. In life, we face numerous monstrosities, hurdles, obstacles and trials that appear to be too overbearing to conquer. Too tedious to vanquish. Too prevalent to scurry and hide from that unfortunately, we have to face them. Whether it be financial adversities, inevitable torment, a health crisis or constant rejection; we ought to keep the faith. 

If it's just a morsel of food left? Faith.

Bankruptcy? Faith.

Infirmity and affliction? Faith.

Family disloyalty? Faith.

Repudiation from a job? Faith.

It's all you need. Only a battered sling and an edgeless pebble.

The vehicle my two-year-old daughter and I resided in possessed four miniature seats in the year of 2023, engulfed in the mist of the dead night on a vacant beach lot. Two to three days devoured my hopeless, demented and warped mind as I drove mindlessly each dark hour in search for a comforting area to rest. From the beach, park, local area labeled as the "Fish Fry" and acquaintances driveways: our presence was made known. We lived off greasy fast food and rationality. We breathed in endurance, perseverance, and credence but we exhaled impatience, deliration and disbelief. When will it end? 

Upon eviction from my grandmother's residence and ousted out by my parents, one can only think...what to do now? I resorted to my own resources, deciding to lean on my own understanding. I've crept to and fro from my previous address with the old keys I've harbored, doing a quick cleanse and change- leaving without being unnoticed each time. As gullibility inhabited my thoughts, I sought consolation and security from strangers in desperation- hoping to be succored. 

Boy... did it make things worse!

 With a tiny bit of optimism left, I seized the advice from a, unco yet polite, "friend" I've met a week ago about a job offer. He insisted that a young lady he knew advertised available positions at her workplace, an outlandish bar, and they were hiring expeditiously! Bars would've been the last resort for I don't perform well around liquor but unfortunately...

I lived in a car.

I have a child.

No job. No home. No money.

Beggars can't pick and choose. This was an offer I couldn't refuse! However, I should've refused.

Exasperatedly, a number was coerced via text once I've accepted the proposal with utmost trust. My plane nubs tapped rapidly on the translucent display: adding, saving and sending a message to the boss himself. I awaited an honorable reply from this unknown entity who I deemed as my 'savior'. Only a few minutes rushed by before a faint chime sounded, notifying me that someone is in need of my attention. 

"Send your resume." Those three words sent me in a frenzy, scrambling through electronic files for an updated and professional documentation enlisted with my entire life. Once forwarded, he reviewed the digital copy, which followed by his request for a few personal photos for 'interview' purposes. Despairingly, the distinctive images were forwarded to 'Cam' as I waited with anticipation for his approval. Via messages, he drooled and praised my appearance- expressing his excitement to meet me. Between the constant babble and nonsensical phone calls, we finally decided to link up at his home then to a local lounge his vehicle chaperoned me to. 

Too much liquor can be a nuisance to the mind, overriding the conscience which leads to irrational thoughts. Warping reality into a distorted disco, inhaling the high of the free world however it leads to our demise. Trapped in a bubble congested with recalcitrant emotions...easy to conform to but hard to flout from. Cam quenched my thirst for vulgarity as he tilts the plastic cup filled with carmine debauchery near my mouth, indulging in my criminal antics. I couldn't ask for anything more. Anything to arouse him. To make the "devil" mine. 

Submerging farther into the fleecy settee, we were conjoined and became intimate. I was heavily convicted but impetuosity made its home in my heart and intellect. I feasted on the sins manifesting in the air as I digested lust, envy and greed; exchanging sexual immorality to possess unacquired wealth. It was only way I was taught to survive my giant. My demons. 

By indulging in promiscuity.

This raunchy sensation did come to a despondent end. Evaded phone calls, rescheduled meetings, taciturnly delayed responses: Cam became completely non-existent. Abhorrence and aggression spewed from my lips as I ended the final message with detestable yet necessitated remarks. I felt filthy, disgusting, and putrid after the extensive encounter with this soulless individual. I was robbed of energy, life, joy and sense of self. My worth dissipated, crushed and pummeled by the uneasiness in my stomach. To think...to listen...to speak... my puny hand clenched, making engravements into my flesh. Despite depression taking a hold of me, relief made its presence known. What felt like a lost turned out to be a win. 

Surviving the lies and manipulation that held me in an intense a chokehold, I relinquished my pride and went before God. I knew this life I've pursued was not my true self. I trusted in a fake reality, an embodiment that was impossible also too destructible to reach. The trust I've wasted on this lifestyle would've evolved and multiply if I had placed it in the Lord's hands. Life made a complete 360 for me in a span of a month because of my obedience; I was blessed with a job, rekindled with my family, and began a new journey in faith.

"Do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat? What shall we drink? What shall we wear? For the pagans run after all these things...Seek first the kingdom and his righteousness then all these things will be given to you." (Matthew 6:31-33)

Faith is all you need.