five. the twenty-first century civil war

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COME WHAT MAY
— the twenty-first century civil war

Percy had seen Frank surrounded by cannibal ogres, facing down an unkillable giant, and even unleashing Thanatos, the god of death

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Percy had seen Frank surrounded by cannibal ogres, facing down an unkillable giant, and even unleashing Thanatos, the god of death. But he had never seen Frank look as terrified as he did now, finding the two of them passed out in the stables.

"What...?" Percy rubbed his eyes. "Oh, we just fell asleep."

Frank swallowed. He was dressed in running shoes, dark cargo pants, and a Vancouver Winter Olympics T-shirt with his Roman centurion badge pinned to the neck (which seemed either sad or hopeful to Percy, now that they were renegades). Frank averted his eyes as if the sight of them together might burn him.

"Everyone thinks you've been kidnapped," he said. "We've been scouring the ship. When Coach Hedge finds out — oh, gods, you've been here all night?"

"Frank!" Rory's ears were as red as strawberries. "We just came down here to talk. We fell asleep. Accidentally. That's it."

"Kissed for a while," Percy said.

Rory glared at him. "Not helping!"

"We'd better..." Frank pointed to the stable doors. "Uh, we're supposed to meet for breakfast. Would you explain what you did — I mean didn't do? I mean... I really don't want that faun — I mean satyr — to kill me."

Frank ran.

When everyone finally gathered in the mess hall, it wasn't quite as bad as Frank had feared. Annabeth, Jason, and Piper were mostly relieved. Leo couldn't stop grinning and muttering, "Classic. Classic." Only Hazel seemed scandalized, maybe because she was from the 1940s. She kept fanning her face and wouldn't meet Percy's eyes.

Naturally, Coach Hedge went ballistic — but Percy found it hard to take the satyr seriously since he was barely five feet tall.

"Never in my life!" Coach bellowed, waving his bat and knocking over a plate of apples. "Against the rules! Irresponsible!"

"Gleeson," Rory said, "it was an accident. We were talking, and we fell asleep."

"Besides," Percy said, "you're starting to sound like Terminus."

Hedge narrowed his eyes. "Is that an insult, Jackson? 'Cause I'll—I'll terminus you, buddy!"

Percy tried not to laugh. "Coach—"

"How am I supposed to believe you? I know about teenagers and their... their..."

To release his frustration, Hedge hit his bat against the deck. Leo yelped at the satyr abusing his ship.

Rory rolled her eyes. "We were just talking," she repeated. "It won't happen again. It's a one time problem."

Hedge pointed his bat at her. "I don't believe you. Don't think I don't know about you sneaking into Jackson's cabin the other night."

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