Queen of My Heart || Taylor Swift

Folklore Triangle

You sat next to an empty desk for the fourth time that week. Taylor switched to a different homeroom, and you knew it was your fault. There was no other reason she'd do that—other than the reason that you fucked up. Her desk used to be covered in mini drawings and sketches that got wiped off every week, but returned just as quickly as they were removed. It looked so normal and plain now. You missed her essence around you. You missed her passing notes to you.

There were so many things you missed that forced you to realize how meticulous you were about her every detail, the way you would admire her. You're in love with her. And now you're not even sure she would ever give you a second chance. Maybe what you did was pernicious to her, but would it be so selfish to say it hurt you, too? You're only seventeen, you don't know anything.

The professor's teachings faded to a muted ramble in your ears until the sharpest ringing of a bell pierced through. You sighed and packed your schoolwork into a folder, and then into the bag you slung onto your back.

Most afternoons, you would drive Taylor home in your two-seater. She'd retract the roof on even the windiest of days and let her hair flow freely. It was a sight you missed, and soon after your mistake, you started riding your skateboard home instead.

You let the board down and kicked off. It was hard to balance, considering that it's been untouched since you started driving. But you got the hang of it. The houses you sped past seemed to disappear behind you. The wind caught in your jacket and unnoticed twigs snapped under the spinning wheels. For a moment, everything felt easy.

Until you passed a familiar two-story white house. You immediately slowed down, and it was like  you couldn't get enough air in your lungs. A part of you urged to go knock on the front door and make it right, but you just wanted to run away from it. You couldn't stop and do it--not today.

As wrong as it was, you kept cursing Inez under your breath, and even hoped Taylor wouldn't believe her. Half the things that girl said weren't trustworthy, but she wasn't lying this time. That's what bothered you. You actually did everything that were in those rumors Inez spread around, and it sounded way worse hearing it from someone else, because it was the worst thing you ever did.

You kept riding your skateboard until you got to the four walls that housed your comfortable bed, and the same room that Taylor spent days with you in. The days when your mom would constantly remind you to keep the door open when she found out that you two weren't just friends. But you know where it all went wrong.

*Flashback*

You're late to the night that Taylor looked forward to, prom. It was decided ahead of time it would be best if you came separately and met each other at the event.

Clad with an off-white suit and black dress shirt, you pushed the frosted double doors open and stepped into the gymnasium. The building's cold wasn't what made your body tremble. Really, you were nervous—or scared even—to see Taylor.

Immediately were you lost in the crowd of people, barely avoiding the swaying couples who were completely absorbed in each other, and subconsciously humming Taylor's favorite tune that played from the far side of the gym. You despise the crowds, but still you pushed through it

It seemed hopeless to look for her under the dimmed lights and over the confetti-layered floor, walking by the balloons on the sidelines until you would spot the love of your life. For a moment it was only a blur in the corner of your eye. Taylor wore a beautiful ivory dress that almost reminded you of a wedding, her curly hair pinned back into a neat bun.

But she had grabbed the hand of her friend, and danced with him. You couldn't help but watch from afar as if you were frozen in time, at least until your view was blocked by the crowd. For a split second, you swore that her gaze locked with yours, that she watched you with tear-struck eyes tinted with hurt.

So you stepped back and scanned for a path to the doors. You never knew why, but your first instinct was always to run. Trembling legs could only carry you so far, just far enough to barge through the glass doors.

This was supposed to be your time to make everything up to her after that horrible argument. You're on your second, maybe even third, chance. When you snapped at her and called her a bitch, you had promised yourself that you wouldn't mess up again.

*End of flashback*

You remember when she chased you from the prom to the parking lot. Even though you know she doesn't like him like that—the both of you are lesbians for fuck's sake—but you still couldn't stand to see yourself replaced.

It feels like you can't do anything right. You act so immature, you never apologize, and it's not surprising people call you a stuck-up bitch. The rumors Inez spreads about you are usually false, but some of them are true. The worst ones.

After that horrible night, you met someone else. She eased the pain of not having Taylor by your side. It was a summer fling. Nothing special. The part you felt worse about was later in the summer, when Taylor forgave you. She said "I love you," and you let her say it. Over and over again. Even as you slept beside another girl, you thought about Taylor.

Inez told Taylor, and Taylor screamed at you. It was the day you learned to apologize. It was the day you learned to appreciate what you have. You said sorry and you begged her not to leave you until your knees were the shade of violets.

"You're not sorry. You're never fucking sorry."

It wasn't then until you realized the cracks you put in the relationship weren't just tiny. You broke it completely. You pushed her limits and toyed with her emotions like an asshole.

Now you watch her pass you in the hallways at school, and all that longing eye contact is lost.

A/N
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Shitpost so there's some content before the next chapter. Wattpad didn't save the upcoming chapter so I to start over again :/