Another Witch in Middle Earth (updated)

Chapter 5- I meet Grumpy McGrumpface

Hello all who apparently have gotten this far, unfortuantly. 

I am astonished that anyone has willingly subjected themselves to this. You could probably call this torture. Anywho, I decided as a little treat to myself that I would draw what the Mc is supposed to look like, in my head at least. yes I know that technically the MC is a self insert but somebody reading this might not know what I look like, so at the end of this chapter, you should be able to find the image. 

This is a cry for help,

Ray

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Dwalin, Balin, Fili and Kili were bustling around the small home preparing for the rest of the company that poor little Bilbo had no idea about. It kinda really was a sad sight, watching a hobbit scurry from one end of the house to the other, trying to keep order. But sadly only Kai and I knew the havoc that was to occur.

All I knew for a fact was that Ringo was outside keeping watch, and all the crazy stuff would hopefully stay inside.

I walked up to Kili, thinking he would be the easiest to talk to.

Tapping his shoulder, I said, "Hello there. My name's Ray." I gave him a big smile.

"Oh. Um Kili, at your service Mr. Ray." I could tell he was nervous. I hoped that the presence of two humans who were taller than him wouldn't make him too nervous. 

"Hey! Kili! Why're you just- oh! Who's that?" Fili pranced over to his brother and I grabbed Kai, much to their disdain of social situations.

"Hi! My name's Ray and this is Kai! It's a pleasure meeting you all."

"Fili, at your service"

"Is there anything we can help with? I dont want to be a bother." I rubbed my upper arm and let out a nervous laugh.

"No, I think we have it all covered. Please, come and sit. You guys can just relax" He led Kai and I to the table and sat us down. 

One by one, the other dwarves arrived and I introduced myself. They all were really nice, especially Bofur, whom was my favorite of the company but I would never admit that to them. Also, while being introduced, Bofur winked at me and I almost died. Kai was laughing at me telapathically, and it went a little something like this:

Hahaha fucking queer.

Shut. Up. Dude. I am trying  to not die right now. 

Hell no. You laughed at me when it was Thranduil and I. I can do the same when your crush winks at you.

He's not- ugh. Fine. Yeah.

With that, most of the dwarves, Kai, and I were crammed into one room, preparing to eat. I turned my head as fast as I could towards Kai. We both knew what was about to go down. And I was so excited. 

We all ate and then, as fate would have it, I overheard sweet Ori as the panicky Bilbo, "Excuse me? I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?" Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

"Here you go, Ori, give it to me."

That was Fili. He took the plate and threw it with ease. I knew Kili was on the other end catching it because thankfully it didnt shatter. A few more plates were tossed. And some more. And I heard Bilbo whimper, "Excuse me! That's my mother's-" but he was sadly cut off.

Bofur, Dori, Oin and Nori all made rhythms with the nearby utensils. Bilbo, again, in an effort to stop them said, "Can you not do that?! You'll blunt them!" If only I could tell him that, as stated in lore, if a dwarf got ahold of your silverware, they would be sharper rather than dull.