Choice Cuts

The Captain

Nine minutes have passed since the ship touched down on the planet's surface. Touched down. The Captain would've laughed, if the mere act didn't make their ribs poke their side every time they so much as move an inch. As well as make them feel like they were being burned alive.

They settled for a smile. A tiny, upwards quirk of the lips. There. The Captain frowned. No. A guffaw would be better. Yes, that would infinite times be much better than a smile, and even more so than plain laughter.

A coughing fit awakened fresh pains, and most probably reorganized their insides. The support material of the seat they're in creaked and shuddered under their weight.

The Captain grimaced. Ah, who are they kidding? If they're gonna die, they might as well be truthful about it. Fingernails dug into the metal of the seat, their grip gradually loosening as short, rapid breaths evened out once again. Thirteen minutes have passed since the ship has crashed into the planet's surface.

There, that wasn't too bad wasn't it? The Captain entertained the idea of laughing, again. Or guffawing. Oh, Moons and Stars above, what they would give to be able to guffaw right now. This entire situation, and the situations that led up to it, is the perfect thing to guffaw about. Instead they settled for a smile. Again.

And isn't this something to smile about? Here they were, in a deserted planet in an uncharted region of a star system, just lounging. Resting. Not having a care in the world. Just resting. They traced a vague pattern of mountain ranges in the horizon. Or rock formations, they could just be rock formations. Might even be gigantic waves. Who cares?

It's dark out. The Captain clamped down on their lip, teeth in danger of tearing the plump flesh. A guffaw would be perfect for this mood, but a snort? Not so much. The Captain is beyond a simple, yet undignified, snort.

Actually, the Captain is beyond many things. Like, sabotaging two or three classmates while in the Academy, positively ruining their careers, and potentially endangering their lives in the long run. No, absolutely not. What do you take the Captain for?

What the Captain isn't beyond is standing your ground on something. You should always sink your claws in and never let go. The meat's bound to weaken eventually and everything you did, would pay off. Yes, that's it. The Captain nodded to themself, and proceeded to wince.

A mechanical hum broke into the silence. The Captain craned their neck to its direction. 'Cockpit oxygen level on ten percent; please activate your suit's emergency backup supply.' The Captain narrowed their eyes. That sounded like their parent. How dare them.

How dare them! The Captain spat from their seat. Coming all the way here? Just to chastise them? Tell them they're wrong? The Captain raised a hand to their mouth and wiped the saliva dribbling down from their chin there. They'll show them.

Oh, they'll show them all right. In fact, the Captain did already show them. It's in their title! Captain! The Captain!

All those years in the Academy, working their ass off... The Captain did show them what for. Oh yes, the Captain did. The Captain did.

The Captain took a deep breath. Or as deep as they could without wincing. What is that? Is someone cooking something? Is their parent cooking something? For them? That's quite nice of them. They wonder if they could have seconds. Or thirds. The Captain closed their mouth. The Captain is beyond drooling.

They raised a hand to their face again and wiped their eyes. They're leaking. The Captain bit their lips again. They nearly burst out laughing. Burst out. Burst out. Burst. Out.

Out to the living room. Oh, what wonderful food you have, Captain. The Captain snorted derisively.

The Captain misses their parent terribly. They nodded to themself. But their parent was a loser. Pathetic. Weak. Didn't amount to anything. Never amounted to anything.

But the Captain was not. The Captain amounted to something. To everything. And now there's nothing else for them now. Nothing's next. Oh, would you look at that, it's morning now. The Captain closed their eyes. Their meal must be done by now. They wonder if their parent would be joining them in the living room to eat.

|Originally written: April 06, 2020