Grumpy Billionaire CEO's Nanny

18.

Juliette

Before Alexander, I dated three people before I decided to swear off men for a while. Heartbreak's something I'm familiar with and a deep kind of pain I never want to go through again. I know first-hand what happens when someone you love and trust deeply decides to rip your heart out and hand it to you. It hurts like hell. The wounds left behind take forever to heal. And the scars never disappear.

I'm not a relationship expert. I haven't been with enough people to be one. The past few years, I've been a person that runs and hides before things get rough. My goals and passions and dreams always came first, until Xander. We have something special. And I want more than anything to make things work.

"You're acting weird," he says, distracting me from my thoughts.

I look up to meet his delicious-brown eyes. They're clear today, which means he's in a good mood. Xander's face never really gives off what he's feeling but his eyes are a window to his soul, as long as you know him well enough.

"I'm just thinking about some things," I tell him.

He doesn't look impressed and for a second I think he's going to return to work. But he shuts his laptop and gives me his attention. I arrived here thirty minutes ago and he told me to take a seat while he continued working. I didn't want to distract him so I've been sitting here quietly. If he's talking again, then he must be done with work.

"I missed you last night."

"I'm sorry, work," I say weakly.

He nods like he understands. "There's someone I would like you to meet," he informs me.

"Who?" I ask curiously.

"You'll see him at the party."

My smile slips at the mention of the party but I quickly plaster it on again.

"What things were you thinking about?" Xander questions.

"Do you remember when we first met? And you accused me of being a trespasser? You were this close to throwing me in jail," I say.

Xander smiles. "I might have done it," he admits.

Jerk," I mutter, but his smile only widens. I take advantage of that and ask him something that will most probably piss him off. "Are her paintings going to be on display at the party?"

Xander's smile fades so fast, I almost regret asking him anything at all. But he hasn't offered up any information and the party is tomorrow.

I asked the twins about it and they said it was pretty much a normal party. There would be pictures of Kathy on display and videos of her when she was alive. It's the only time the twins ever get to see their cousins and aunt from their mother's side as well, since they make sure to fly in from Denmark for the event. There's also an auction and the proceeds go into a charity foundation Xander started in her name.

Basically, it's a night to honor Kathy and her life. And it's beautiful, it really is, but the circumstances surrounding it are arguably not.

It feels like Xander only allows himself that one day to let himself remember her, to feel her, and then he locks up all his emotions again.

"No," he replies icily. "Why would you ask me that? I realize you saw the paintings by accident, Juliette, but please, don't ever bring it up again."

Anger burns into my skin but I force myself to take deep breaths. It doesn't make any sense. If this party is to honor his late wife, then shouldn't the paintings she obviously poured her heart and soul into be a part of it? Shouldn't he want to share how amazing Kathy was?