Scar Tissue by Red Hot Chili Peppers
Stella was practically born independent. Being more of a mother figure than the woman that gave birth to her was natural to her by age twelve. She had a little sister, five years younger than her, that she took care of full-time. Her mother was a personal assistant to the mayor of her city; she went everywhere with him. The first time she left Stella alone overnight with her sister was when Stella was eleven.
Her mother had been promoted to a personal assistant a few years prior from the job of his office secretary. She informed Stella that she was going to travel with the mayor to New York City, "I'll be gone for two nights. Can you handle that, Stel?" her mother asked, though Stella knew her mother was looking for a yes. She shoved a dark red lipstick into the bottom of her Coach bag, "Be a good little girl for Sissy," she said to Stella's younger sister, "I'll be back before you know it," she said as she grabbed her suitcase and left, not bothering to say goodbye or I love you.
Stella knew her mother tried, at least from the beginning. She remembers her third birthday party; one of her earliest memories. It was at a park. Her mother had invited everyone she could think of. There was a bounce house, cake, ice cream. She remembers her mom reading her bedtime stories, and making some up when Stella had memorized all the books she owned.
Stella also remembered when her little sister, Rebecca, was born. Stella had just turned five. "Mommy's got you a present," Stella remembers hearing. Her mom was laid in a white bed in a white dress, surrounded by white walls and strangers dressed in white clothes. Stella was scared, but her mom was smiling, which soothed her.
She climbed into bed with her mom as a shrill cry approached the room she was in. There was a tiny baby in a clear box, Stella remembers. She also remembers noticing her mother's boss was the person wheeling the baby in. "Her name is Rebecca," her mother said to her. The man handed Rebecca to Stella, "She's your little sister, Stel," he said with a smile.
Stella's next memory is of the exact moment she realized her mother was sleeping with the mayor. She remembers feeling dizzy then vomiting all over the place. She was fourteen, and her mother was somewhere in the middle of Texas with the mayor. "Sissy," Rebecca knocked on the bathroom door, "Are you okay?" Stella wiped the vomit off the side of her mouth and stood up from the toilet. She approached the door and opened it, "Yes, Becca, would you go get me my phone?" Rebecca ran to Stella's room and grabbed her phone, handing it to her big sister, "Are you going to call 911?" Rebecca asked, worried.
Stella smiled, "No, B, I'm calling Mama." Rebecca's eyes lit up, "Can I say hi to her? I haven't heard from her since she left," she frowned. Stella slid down the wall inside the bathroom, inviting Rebecca to join her, "Of course, but you have to leave after that. Grown up talk." Rebecca nodded and slid down the wall just as her sibling had done seconds before.
"Hello?"
"Mommy!" Rebecca immediately said into the speaker. "Hey, B!" her mom replied, "Everything okay?"
"Yeah, mom, she just wanted to say hi," Stella replied. "Hey, baby, I'll be home soon, I promise!" her mom said, dragging out the o in 'promise'. "I'll talk to you two later, I love-" "Mom, I need to talk to you," she said as she turned her head to Rebecca, "Time for grown up talk," she told her sister, as the little one left the room. Once she was sure Rebecca was out of earshot, Stella's tone changed completely, "Is Rebecca's father the mayor?" she went for it.
There was a long pause on the other end of the phone. "Mom."
"I heard you," her mom suddenly sounded irritated. "Then answer me."
"Yes," her mother stated, "I have to go. We'll talk about it Tuesday when I get home. I love you," she managed to get in before Stella hung up the phone as she locked herself in the bathroom for the rest of the night.
She jolted awake as she realized her own snore scared her conscious. She rolled her eyes and turned over on the boys' couch.
She decided to crash there for the night since she'd have to call an Uber if she wanted to get home that night. She slept on the couch because there was no way she was sleeping with any of the boys and the only one of them that would have given their bed up for her would be Luke, but he hadn't left his room in days. She wasn't even sure if he was still alive. So she laid across the couch of the infamous den they're always spending time in. Turning on a stupid movie she knew she wouldn't get into, Stella drifted off to sleep.
Stella always thought about the time before she left home. She thought about how Rebecca was only fifteen when she left her all alone to deal with their mother. It's not like she had to take care of her mother; it was that Rebecca basically lived alone at fifteen; but Stella had spent years teaching Rebecca how to cook, clean, do laundry, defend herself, write checks, go to the store, etc. She knew her little sister could handle it.
She made sure to call Rebecca at least once a week, making sure she was okay and that their mother was still showing up when she was meant to. But she still felt bad; she was making memories with her best friends, living the teenage life she didn't get to have, while her sister was being the adult.
Just as Stella was about to drift back to sleep, she heard someone's feet treading closer to the den. She lifted off the couch and peered out the den door to see Luke making his way to the kitchen. She cleared her throat loud enough to catch his attention. He rubbed his eyes a little before noticing who he was looking at, "Morning, Stel," he said in his deep, sleepy voice.
"Good morning," she replied following him into the kitchen, "I can make you some eggs or something if you're up for it," she suggested. She knew something was hitting him hard and she wanted to help in any way possible. Everyone knew Luke needed his space when he was down like this; the only person that could make him feel better was Avery. But everyone also knew that they weren't on best terms at the time. So Stella felt like she could slowly approach the subject with care.
"Please," he quietly pleaded as he sat in a chair at the kitchen bar. Stella grabbed a pan and carton of eggs, "Do you want bacon too?" she asked, turning to look at him. "If you don't mind," his voice was hoarse, like he'd been screaming for days. She turned back to the fridge and grabbed the bacon.
She started humming a tune she didn't even recognize. There weren't any words exchanged for a few minutes. Luke's eggs were almost done before he started to speak, "Is she," he cleared his throat, "Does she even miss me?" he asked, once again referring to Avery. Stella closed her eyes for a moment, knowing he'd eventually ask her about Avery. She turned around, dumping the eggs on the plate in front of him, "You know what, Luke? I'm not sure. She hasn't mentioned you since the last time she was here. Which is weird for her. But that in no way means she doesn't miss you or even that she doesn't think about you. You know her, she-" "I used to know her," he muttered. Stella looked at him but continued what she was saying as she tried to pretend she didn't hear what he said. "She isn't good at talking about her thoughts or feelings."
"Can I tell you something, Stella?" he asked. "Of course," she said, setting the pan in the sink and giving Luke all of her attention.
