My Vision ✨

Chapter 21 ✨

Off's P.O.V.

So I really got to meet Gun once again. Damn I deserved that slap. I could hear pain in his voice and what was the other feeling mixed with his pain? The love he had for me or the love which has converted into hate? It was good that we weren't together for long. I couldn't bear the feelings which came out of the pain I caused him. I wonder how badly he must have been suffering that it made him raise his hand on me. I remember so freshly how gentle he used to be towards me. He used to pamper me and spoil me all the time. I couldn't even get a scratch when he was around me. And now? Now everything has changed. I am the one who changed his love... I feel so horrible. Can't I just die now?!

"Off can you like please get out this room?!" Ohm screamed as he was knocking the door.

"Ohm let me be alone."

"Okay be alone but at least don't lock the door!" Ohm said.

"I am not suicidal anymore Ohm! Just leave me alone!"

"I can't Off!" He screamed and suddenly he stopped knocking on the door. I guess that he gave up cause he knows that I won't budge.

"Open the door Off!" Gun screamed as he knocked hardly. Damn what it he doing here... What should I reply?

"Off if you don't open the door right now, I am seriously gonna hate you. Do you want me to hate you?" Gun said. I just got up and opened the door listening to his words. I don't wanna see him hate me. Wait... Doesn't he already hates me? I heard sobbing sounds after I opened the door. My heart dropped.

"Don't you already hate me? Why did you fooled me to open the door?" I asked mustering all my courage. It sounds so shitty. Why did I even said that? And why my tears won't stop falling in front of him? I hate being myself... Gun didn't replied to me. I could hear the soft sound of him sobbing. It broke my heart. I don't know what to say or how to comfort him. I feel like the worst guy on this planet.

"Gun... I am sorry.... Please don't cry... I shouldn't have showed up in your life and make a mess out of it..." I said. It felt rediculous because his agony won't stop by saying this words to him. I hurt him so bad that his tears won't stop... I don't know if I should move my hand forward to wipe his tears... Will doing this make this situation any better? I guess I should just continue apologizing. Not until he forgives me but until he feels a bit better about this situation.

"Gun... Please don't cry, please? I am really sorry. I know that me apologizing to you won't make anything better. It won't heal the pain I gave you... I am really the worst... Please don't cry for me... I don't deserve this..."

"And what about your pain? What about your tears Off?!" Gun said, I got a bit surprised. Like what is he saying.

"Off stop pretending like you weren't hurting yourself all along. I have been a the real bad guy for leaving you and never looking back. I never looked back or checked on you. I never had any idea about your sufferings and here you are crying about my sufferings! Don't be sorry... It's me who should be sorry..." Gun said with thorns of pain in his voice. I felt so weak.

"Gun it's okay... What are you even talking about, don't be sorry. You did nothing wrong... I am sorry for everything..." I said trying to calm him down. He hugged me tightly. And suddenly the five years distance between us just ended in five seconds. I felt like we never had separated in the first place. I felt so safe... Gun was sobbing hardly. It felt hard and great at the same time. I don't know how to calm him down. I hugged him tightly too. It might make him feel my sincerity towards him. Our legs felt weak and we couldn't stand anymore. We sat on my hotel room's door, still hugging each other and crying.

"Gun... It's okay Gun... I was never mad at you for never looking back at me. You also know that I was wrong at the first place. I knew that if I told you to never come back, you won't ever come back. I shouldn't have started the situation in the very beginning. I ruined everything. You did no wrong. Please don't feel guilty. Who told you I wasn't okay in these past few years? I was doing quite okay. So don't feel like I suffered a lot or something. I just missed you, that's all. Nothing more happened."

"Off! Please stop! Please stop lying for once! Can you please be honest about your feelings?! You have always pushed your own feelings away and made things this compliment! Please just stop lying to yourself and me! Tay has told me everything..." Gun said as he hit a few soft punches on my chest.

"Tay told you? What did he told you? You know him right? He's my friend, he must be exaggerating the situation because he is on my side. Don't feel guilty about it Gun..." I said trying to make him feel better about him in this whole situation.

"Off I wanna beat you up at this point! Stop trying to make me feel better when you are the one who's suffering the most! I won't feel any better unless you feel any better." Gun said as he held my face. He caressed my cheeks. It felt so comforting. I felt like the pain of five years just got washed away in five seconds.

"I am sorry Off, I was here healing myself when everything became worse for you. The world was too mean to you, so I was. I know that you did a mistake but this isn't the punishment you deserved. You need to understand your value. Your value is very much. If you want me to be happy then please love the person I love." Gun said and then he pulled me closer. He held my right cheek and I could feel his breath on my mouth.

"May I?" He said asking for permission to kiss me. The way he's still a gentleman like before. I just kissed him instead of saying anything. So that's the taste of his beautiful lips? It felt so right... I might not be his first kiss but oh to get kissed by him... All the murdered butterflies inside my stomach were alive again, they were flustered by Gun's lips touching my lips. We parted a few inches to grasp some air. Gun then bit my lower lips and initiated a deep kiss. I was actually really enjoying it until I heard a camera flash sound. I moved back as I heard a lots of camera click sounds. Damnit it must be the paparazzi. I really can't have any happy moment! Everything just gets spoiled! I somehow managed to get up and drag Gun inside the room. I closed the door quickly and let a sigh out. God it's now hella embarrassing.

"Off I'm sorry I didn't noticed people taking pictures. I was too into it..."

"It's okay... I just... I just don't want your fans to be mad at you for anything..." I said.

"You really didn't changed a bit. You are still worried about how my fans will feel."

"How can I not worry Gun? They are the result of your goddamn hard work. I don't want you to lose your fans..."

"Off listen those who'll leave me after knowing my reality aren't really my fans. And the times have changed, people surely won't make a fuzz about my sexuality."

"No it's not that... It's just that... Gun... I am blind... No matter what you say but the reality is that you deserve better than me. I am not saying you to leave this time. I can't afford life if you leave again. But the thing is that I... I don't want people saying around that you have a useless blind boyfriend... I... I just don't want that..." I said as tears fell from my eyes. I just still can't over come my insecurities. Even though I am a famous artist now, my inferiority complex just comes in between us. I hate it!

"Off... I am so sorry..." Gun said and instantly hugged me tightly.

"Off I am sorry that you felt like this all along... Please don't feel like this. I never thought that you'll feel like this. Who said that I have faced any problem because of you being blind. Your blindness never was a problem to me. Please don't feel that you aren't the one for me. You really are the only one I need and you are the only right one for me... We have suffered enough Off. You have suffered enough thinking about everyone except yourself. We won't do it anymore, okay?" Gun said as he held my face and caressed it gently.

"Okay Gun... Let's start over, shall we?"

"Surely Off." Gun said, I could understand from his voice that he's sobbing silently.

"What about meeting at the park near the 30th block street?"

"It's a great idea Gun. I'll meet you tomorrow then."

"Sure! I'm going back now. I'll see you tomorrow Off." Gun said as he walked out of my room. How strange it is to see him go by himself cause before I always had to kick him out of my room cause he was too obsessed with me...

'~~~~~~~~~~

A/N : I don't know if the story is still interesting or not 😭