Take Me Far That Road

Chapter 7 - I Really Need Somebody to Call My Own

Author's Note: More in-between bonding with the Batch as they begin to reach resolutions. :)

~ Amina Gila

Talking to Tech had helped. When Crosshair wakes the next morning, he feels far more refreshed than he remembers in what must be a very long time. Far more alert, more... just more. Maybe that's what he needed after all, and in hindsight, it feels... almost stupid that he didn't try talking to Tech a long, long time ago.

Tech promised nothing was wrong with how Crosshair felt, though. It feels good to have someone's word to believe again. To have someone he can trust.

It's not that he hasn't wanted to eat in a while, but that somehow seems a little easier, too.

Crosshair still isn't ready to talk to Hunter, though. He has no idea what to say to him, or how to... apologize for the things that he probably really ought to apologize for. He can feel Hunter watching him basically nonstop, and he's struggling to avoid him without actively doing it. It's not that he doesn't want to talk to him. He just... isn't ready.

But Wrecker is... still an issue. Crosshair needs to talk to him, too, and he knows he's never going to feel comfortable until they've talked and said whatever it is they need to.

He finds time later when they're waiting around in Cid's parlor for her to finally come up with another mission for them to run. Wrecker's lounging on one of the benches in the back, and Crosshair awkwardly sits beside him.

Whatever he had in mind to say flies from mind the minute he feels Wrecker's warmth beside him and his older brother looks down at him.

Yeah.

Should really have thought this out first.

Where does he even start? Crosshair's mind is still a mess and all over, no matter how normal Tech insists this is. Focusing is hard. It's... somewhat relieving to know it's actually a physical problem, and also really not. That makes it real. It means he's hurt, and he doesn't want to believe he is.

What's he supposed to say? I miss you? Which is insane.

"You okay?" Wrecker asks, lightly elbowing him. He looks worried. They're all worried. Crosshair can see it now that he's actually looking, now that he knows it's there. It makes him feel foolish for not having seen it a long time ago.

"Yeah," he lies blatantly, chewing on a toothpick for a direly needed distraction.

"Ya sure?" Wrecker asks.

"I'm not made of glass," Crosshair grumbles. Maybe that's just what he needs to get out. He – he wants them to protect him, but he doesn't need to be babied, either.

Wrecker's staring at him in what he's pretty sure is confusion.

"I'm here," Crosshair goes for instead, because sometimes, with Wrecker, he needs to be blunter than physically possible, "I'm not going anywhere. I'm not gonna disappear." Wrecker wraps an arm over his shoulders, yanking him up against his side. Crosshair leans into him, resting in his warmth. He still misses Wrecker's hugs. "You don't need to worry."

Wrecker presses his cheek against Crosshair's hair. "I know," he murmurs.

He's not sure he's physically capable of tolerating something any sappier than the conversations he's had with Echo and Tech in the past few days, but... this is Wrecker. They've always been close, even if their relationship always entailed an extreme level of, well, aggressiveness. But this is Wrecker, and for him, Crosshair thinks there was far more of their relationship that was unspoken than whatever they tried to verbalize.