You Confuse Me (Joongdok)

A Vast Window

YJH pov:

As I walk down the long halls of my plain and boring school I can come to the conclusion that it's much more enjoyable when no one else is around. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing that I left my lunch in homeroom. This way I don't have to listen to those idiots nonsense. But I do wish it wasn't such a hassle to go up all these stairs.

That was one of the only things I liked about being a freshman. Having all your classes on the first floor. Now I'm a senior. What fun. Slowly I start to make my way up the third flight of stairs. Looking up I can see my homeroom. Class D-1. It's definitely the worst homeroom I've had while being at ORV High. The kids are so fucking loud. And the girls never stop coming up to me and telling me all about their new clothes or car that their daddy bought them.

Which could be a form of torture if you ask me. Even if I tell them off or give them my best glare, which isn't hard to do, they still just stay up in my face and smile. Soon I find myself in front of my homeroom door. Oddly enough it's open. I guess someone forgot to close it. Walking into the room finally after what felt like forever I see a figure.

They weren't necessarily short but they weren't tall either. They had short black hair that reminded me of charcoal. Their uniform was wrinkled and had some of it tucked into their pants while the other half was hanging about. It was him. There was no doubt in my mind. Kim Dojka. The only question I had was what he was still doing up here. I stood still for a while till he pushed open our class window.

I'm guessing he still didn't know I was there. That is until he turned around. As he did so it gave me a chance to make out his features a bit better. His hair fell in front of his face which contrasted from his almost porcelain skin. His eyes are full of tears and he has small bags under them. Also his lips are a somewhat unnatural shade of rosy pink.

He had a look of dread come over his face as we made eye contact. Which is not really that surprising since we don't really have the best relationship. You could say he's something of a victim to my "cruelty". We stare at each other for what felt like centuries until I finally got some words out.

"I came to grab my lunch," I tell him while I walk over to my desk. Which is so evidently behind his.

"Hmm," he replied as he wiped away his lingering tears.

Grabing my lunch I take the time to look back over at Kim Dojka before closing the vast window. He opens his mouth as if to protest but then shuts it and moves away from me cautiously. He really never says anything now that I think about it. Not even in class.

"What are you doing up here still any?" I ask walking closer to him.

He stays put but avoids my gaze by staring at his shoes. He doesn't talk and just gives me a shrug while still looking at his shoes. I sigh before lifting his head up with my hand. He gives me a questioning look before slaping my hand away. Just like it was rehearsed a girl comes running into the room. She stops before us and leans down for a second as though to catch her breath.

I'm pretty sure her name is Han Sooyoung. She's one of the least most annoying girls in my homeroom. She never talks to me and I'm pretty greatful for that. I only ever see her around Kim Dojka. They have been going everywhere together since junior high. Like two peas in a pod. Don't know why she came running here for though.

"Where have you been?!" She exclaimed as she shook Kim Dojka's shoulders.

"I didn't think I needed to tell you," he stated blankly while wiggling out of Han Sooyoungs grasp.

They act like siblings. I didn't really think Han Sooyoung was so loud either. Maybe she just was worried about Dojka or something. But that doesn't make sense since he wasn't doing anything that would hurt him. Unless...he was trying to jump. He wouldn't do that though right? But what if he was? Even if he was thinking about it that's still bad. It would make more sense though since he was crying when I got here.

And he looked almost disappointed when I came in the room. If he was going to jump was it my fault? Could I drive him to do such a thing? No one else that I've "bullied" has ever done that. But some people are more sensitive I guess. My heart fells so heavy. Why? Is it because I could have been the reason Dojka killed himself? Probably.

"Hey idiot! You still there?" Han Soonyoung calls out to me. I would have hit her if I wasn't so deep in thought.

"Yeah. What do you want?" I say clearly irritated.

"Nothing, I was just seeing if you were gonna keep staring at the wall all day," She answers.

Huh? I didn't even know I was staring. I blink a couple times before feeling a small tap on my forearm. I look over to see Kim Dojka looking up at me.

"You ok?" He asks.

That's what I should be asking you. I give him a slight nod before he walks away from me and over to Han Sooyoung.

"Well let's get out of here," She says annoyed while looking me up and down with a disapproving glare.

Kim Dojka makes a small noise in response as he makes his way out the classroom door with Han Sooyoung following after. They both walk out but before Kim Dojka can fully leave I call out to him.

"Kim Dojka," I call. As I do he turns his head around and give Han Sooyoung a gesture that looks like it means "go ahead". She give him a nod before slowly walking away to the first flight of stairs. Dojka comes closer before speaking.

"Is there something you need?" He asks. As he does I see how pretty he looks in the afternoon sun.

"Yes, um," I start hopefully not sounding to frog like,"would you want to be my partner for the upcoming class project?"