mommy issues core

wildflower

tw hospitals, attempted suicide

wildflower - billie eilish 
scarlett johansson
y/ns age 16

y/n pov
i sat in bed alone.
staring ahead at the curtain pulled infront of me. i don't know how long i've been here.

they said they would be back with a nurse but that seems like ages ago.

soon the curtain was pulled back and a blond woman with shoulder length hair and purple scrubs came in.

"hi i'm scarlett, can you tell me your name?" she said sitting down on the chair beside me.
i looked down the the bracelet secured loosely around my bandaged arms.

"y/n" i said softly. and she nodded with a small smile.

"can you remember why your here?" she asked gently
"i tried to kill myself." it was weird to admit it out loud. "but i failed"

she was patient and gentle as she asked me more questions. when i didn't answer she either moved on or guided me through an answer.

i appreciated the kindness.

she had to go hand these forms in but promises she would be back. i knew she would be busy and i would be alone for a while again.

i shifted my focus to the tv in the corner of the room that was playing one of the animated spider-man movies.  it reminded me of my little brother matthew.

i don't get to see him often, now that i involuntarily live with my mother. not that living with my dad was much better.

i started to get a sick feeling in my stomach and before i knew it i was throwing up again. all over myself and the bed.

i started to panic, instantly the heart monitor beside me started going off. i tried to calm down but couldn't.

scarlett poked her head in before rushing over. "your okay sweetie, it's okay" she rubbed my back as i couldn't stop retching.

i stopped finally and started to cry.

she cleared the sheets helping me to stand up. scarlett wrapped the seats in the plastic on the bed before going to get fresh ones and spare scrubs for me.

i stood in the corner arms wrapped around myself. this is disgusting and now she had to deal with it when it was my fault.

the blond came back in with fresh sheets and clothes aswell as some wipes. she changed the bed as i got chained wiping down my mouth, neck and chest.

when i turned back around she had the bed made. "i'm sorry" i told her but she just gave me a reassuring smile.

"it's okay honey, can i get you anything? water or something to eat maybe?" she spoke in such a comforting tone i just wanted to cry again.

i shook my head at her questions and she nodded as i got into the bed. scarlett pulled the covers over my legs before sending me another smile.

she could tell i felt shit still so she started speaking.

"i'll go get you some medicine, but you need to have something to eat with it okay?" i nodded and she left and came back with easy mac and cheese, an orange juice and the medicine.

i took it no questions asked, no drink to wash it down and she looked at me shocked. it was only panadol i think.

i played around with my food and she kept me company. i assumed she had other patients but i guess not.

i could tell she was getting tired though. it was nearing 11pm and i was wondering if she was finishing a day shift or starting a night shift.

"can you tell me about you?" i asked breaking the silence. "do you have any kids?"

"i have a daughter who's 7, and a son who is almost 2" she told me passing me a colouring page and some crayons.

"do you know what's happening to me?" i asked her and she looked up at me sadly.

the blond informed me she wasn't sure but said what might happen. i appreciated the information anyway.

soon another doctor came in and she had to go.
"try and get some sleep tonight?" she smiled squeezing my hand before walking out.

later on

it was hours later and the hospital was eerily quiet. i had been moved into a proper room and haven't seen anyone for hours.

i was alone. scared. and i couldn't fall asleep. it must've been 1 am when my door opened again. i see scarlett walk in quietly.

"i hoped you were sleeping" she said quietly coming to sit in the chair beside me again.

"how could i sleep in a place like this" i stated, staring up at the ceiling. she nodded as i shuffled down in bed more.

"why don't i stay till you fall asleep" she offered.
"aren't you busy?"
"i'm on my break" she said which made me feel bad since she's wasting it on me.

she pulled the blankets over my shoulders, turning the lights off so it was just the nightlight and the lights coming from various machines around.

i fell asleep soon after while holding her hand.
maybe being here wasn't so bad when nice people exist.

a/n   any requests?