Love on Notes

41

— Dad? I said, catching sight of my father's once familiar silhouette.

He came towards me and I could see his face glowing. I jumped into his arms and he placed a kiss on the top of my head, as he was wont to do.

— Liz, he said sternly.

When I lifted myself off his chest, I saw that he was watching me with a very worried expression.

— What is it, Dad?
— That's just not possible.
— What's not possible?
— Two loves. You can't have two loves.

I knew immediately who he was talking about.

— But... the person from the notes is not someone I'm romantically involved with.
— Why do you often think about him then? Why does your heart race when you think of him? We both know there's only one love in life, never two.
— But... what would you advise me to do?
— Follow your heart.
— But Dad, I'm following my heart and I've decided to try out with Daniel.
— But you keep answering to the other one's notes.
— Couldn't I just reply in a friendly manner?
— When two great literary minds meet, nothing is ever friendly.
— So you're recommending that I break up with Daniel to be with the stranger? But I like Daniel, I want to be with him. And I don't know the stranger, maybe he's an old man in his seventies who's married and already has grandchildren.

He smiles at me.

— That's not what I'd advise you to do.
— But what are you telling me to do? I asked him as he started to walk away.
— Be honest!

He moved further and further away as I held out my arms to encourage him to stay.

— Dad! I shouted before opening my eyes.

Breathing hard, I realised it was only a dream.

— Liz, are you okay?

Turning to Daniel, I saw him looking at me worriedly, his eyebrows furrowed. After I assured him that everything was fine, he gave me a hug and went back to sleep a few moments later.

Still awake, I watched his face, a smile on my lips. His eyelashes were long and his black hair was flat against his forehead. With my hands behind his back, I could feel the scars on his back. I'd asked him how he'd got them and he'd told me it was during interventions with criminals. However, I had the impression that one in particular was deeper and older than the others.

Lost in my thoughts, I hadn't noticed that I'd started stroking him until he frowned. I immediately removed my finger and his features relaxed again. After making sure that he had fallen back asleep, I thought again about my dream. What had my father been trying to tell me? Who should I be honest with? Daniel? The stranger writing notes? Or... with myself? All this confusion was weighing on me, even more than before. I ended up realising with time that Daniel was truly a wonderful person. He was so kind, generous, reliable, caring, intelligent, funny, gentle and charming. I was caught up in this whirlwind of feelings and emotions that made my body and heart go wild. However, the notes person was always present in my thoughts. I couldn't continue like that.

I was apprehensive about Daniel's reaction. How was I supposed to tell him that I had an intellectual bond with someone other than him? What if it put an end to our situationship? What if the notes person wasn't someone I'd get on with? I'd be devastated. I didn't want to risk losing Daniel, but what if he found out and I didn't tell him myself? What if I decided to tell him everything and realised that, despite my intellectual connection with the stranger, Daniel was the love of my life? A tear rolled down my cheek at the thought.
I tossed and turned in bed for over an hour, unable to stop thinking. Knowing full well that I wasn't going to fall asleep again, I slowly got out of Daniel's arms and went into the living room, where I started working on my novel.