Room 537

Chapter 14

Charlie

Every time I get in the shower I think about inspection night. It's been a month now. I should be over it by now but I'm not. Instead I slide down the tiles onto the floor of the shower, the water running down me. I still feel his hands on me. Grabbing me.

"Don't cry pretty thing. This will only hurt a little bit. I think I'm gonna have a little bit of fun with you first." He chuckles. I feel like I'm going to puke. He yanks down my jeans. He lifts the waistband of my boxers and looks down. A sick smirk paints his face. "Turn around."

I do as I'm told. Please no. This can't be happening. This won't happen. It can't be. I want to go home. I don't want to be here anymore. Please no-

Before I can finish the thought he is plunged deep inside me. I scream at the top of my lungs. It hurts. It hurts so fucking bad.

I can't tell if it's water running down me or tears at this point. Why can't I move on? We haven't had inspection since and Elijah said it'll be a rare occurrence. So why do I flinch every time I pass a guard? Why am I scared to go into the dining hall? Why can't I even take a fucking shower without crying?

A knock sounds on the door. "Charlie. Are you okay?" Elijah asks through the door.

I turn off the water and quickly dry off. The steam pours out of the bathroom as I open the door. Elijah's standing right outside. I can't look at him. It'll break me. I avoid his gaze as I get dressed.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really no." I say as I plop down onto my bed. I sniffle. I can feel Elijah's eyes on me as I stare out the window. "Stop looking at me."

"What's your favourite memory of your mom?" He asks throwing me off guard. I look at him. He's on his own bed sitting right at the edge. He hasn't slept in his bed since that night. I love the feeling of us holding each other. We might be in the shittiest position but we have each other and even though I haven't known Elijah for too long. I know that I'm glad I have him and that's he's made a big impact on my life in the short amount of time we've spent together.

I realize that I could very easily fall for Elijah. I may not be in love with him but he's shown me what it's like to feel loved. He cares for me in a way nobody else has gone out of their way to do. Ever since mom left I've turned into someone I don't recognize. I became closed off. I was bitchy and angry and violent. I didn't even think to act that way around Elijah. From the first day I arrived I felt this pull towards him that immediately ridded me of the mask I've been wearing and the dark cloud hanging over my head.

"When I was 5 years old, my family moved and for some reason, my mom and we were on the bus. I slept in her lap a lot. The sun shining through the window was bright and I remember looking at her face while she slept and I slept on her lap. I remember her smiling at me a lot that trip. She's the best mom I could've hoped for. That's my favourite memory of her, although it's getting hazier the older I get. It's nothing special at all. She did loads for me and yet that was the first time I think I fully understood the warm comfort my mom made me feel. I love her. I owe her everything."

Fuck. I shouldn't cry but I can't help it. I miss her. I miss her so fucking much it hurts. I haven't seen my mom in over a month now. I've never gone this long without seeing her.

Elijah moves closer, now sitting on my bed. My curls move in between his fingers as he gently strokes my hair.

"I haven't told her about it. About what happened that night. I can't. It would break her. My mom's a strong woman but this... this would crush her and this time I wouldn't be able to save her. I fucked everything up Elijah. I never should've sold those stupid fucking drugs. I never should've vandalised the school. I... I ... Fuck if I didn't do that I could've been by her side right now instead of here where I'm living in constant fear of being raped and abused. I fucked everything up and I hate myself for it and I... I... I... I wanna die." I break into his arms. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I said everything that's been on my heart this past month. Everything I can't tell my mom because I'm scared of what it'll do to her.

"I've got you baby. I'm right here." That's what I told him after he came back from his father. I didn't know how else to comfort him. I wanted to take his pain away but I couldn't so I was just there for him.

"I'm scared." I admit. I sound fragile, like the tiniest wind and I'd collapse but that's exactly how I feel. Fragile. Breakable. On the verge of giving up.

"Of what?"

"What if I'm not as strong as my mom is?"

"Then you have no choice but to be stronger. You undermine everything you've went through Charlie."

"I don't know how."

He cups my face wiping my tears away. "I'll help you baby. You're going to make it out of here stronger than you walked in. I promise."

My heart goes crazy. It always does around him. I like Elijah. A lot.

He places a soft kiss on my nose and then my hair. I wrap my arms around his waist, holding him tight.

I'll help you baby. You're going to make it out of here stronger than you walked in. I promise.

Elijah Lockwood, I hope you're a man of your word.