Shrek and obama: A Love Story

Chapter 9; The Orange Homewrecker

Shrek prepared himself for his new plan, "Gunther, I don't want to do this alone and I don't think Barack is strong enough to do it...could you come with me?" Gunther was slightly surprised but there's no way he'd leave his muffin cake, so he said "of course I will, my tall green fucking machine" and Shrek smiled.


They made their way through the Windy Forest, deep in the heart of what felt like a jungle, they spotted a hut made of wood and leaves. They got down and slowly inched towards the random ass window that was conveniently placed so they could see inside the whole one room.
"baby cakes, it's him! it's Donald J. Trump" Gunther whispers to Shrek. Shrek notices Donald is holding something...a blanket? no..."He has Michelle's baby!" Shrek yelled as he stood up quickly, Donald notices him and freezes, he's been caught!

Shrek breaks the conveniently placed window and charges Donald. He tackles Donald, making him drop the baby, in which Gunther swoops in and catches Baby Pork Rind (Baby pork, or BP for short) and shields it away from the fight. 

Shrek punches Donald in his small orange cock, making Donald shriek like a little girl.
Donald swings a weak punch to Shrek's leg, he does NOTHING but he in fact pulls Shrek's pants down, Gunther has to leave the hut now as Shrek's huge ogre cock is swinging around as he attacks Donald. Shrek almost knocks out Donald, he's laying on the ground, weak. Shrek starts tea bagging Donald. Since Shrek's glizzy is so huge, Donald dies.

Shrek met Gunther outside the hut, they smiled at each other and started the trek home. 
"Gunther, what are we going to do with BP? Should I ask Barack if we can take it in as our own?" Shrek seems slightly worried...Gunther gives him a reassuring smile, making Shrek smile too, "well, if you guys take it, that's fine, but if Barack says no...I'll take care of it, how about that?" Gunther pats Shrek on the back, Shrek nods in agreement.

Gunther and Shrek arrive at the house, as soon as they enter Barack greets Shrek but
realises Gunther is standing there. "Uhm, baby...who is he? and why is he holding an abomination?" Barack raises and eyebrow. Shrek looks offended, "first of all, that is not an abomina- actually that doesn't matter right now, this is Gunther, we've been flings for a while, before I met you." Gunther nods along as Shrek talks. Barack is slightly suspicious but brushes off the whole "Fling" thing. "and Barack...we need to tell you something." Shrek says as him and Gunther lead Barack into the living room.

Barack sits down, so does Gunther and Shrek on both sides of Barack. "Barack sweetie....first of all, Michelle was found...dead...in her apartment yesterday afternoon, and as it turns out. Your mortal enemy, Donald Trump, was the father of Michelle's baby. He killed Michelle and stole the baby, which me and Gunther found, it's name is Baby Pork Rind, or BP for short. also I killed Donald with my huge ogre cock." Shrek says in what felt like one breath.   Barack was shocked, then sad, then shocked again, then angry, then FURIOUS. "Shrek....how could you??? I- THAT'S THE CHILD MY NOW DEAD WIFE CHEATED ON ME TO HAVE??? A-AND IT'S NAME IS PORK RIND???? WHAT THE FUCK SHREK!!! AND NOT TO MENTION THIS GUNTHER GUY WHO I KNOW YOU'VE FUCKED RECENTLY....ALL BEHIND MY BACK!!!????" Barack stands up in a burst of anger.

Barack's sudden yelling scared BP, which only fueled his anger, he grabbed BP from Gunther's arms and ran upstairs, unsure what he'd do in this state, Shrek and Gunther rushed behind him, Barack locked himself in his and Shrek's room, Shrek and Gunther pressed their ears against the door, it was silent for a few minutes...until.....there was a single gunshot.

Scared of what might've happened, Shrek kicked the door down, they didn't see anything in the bedroom so they rushed to the bathroom. Shrek and Gunther were petrified because....Barack Shot BP directly in the skull! there was little blood, because BP wasn't actually that human, Shrek held back his tears, he grabbed Gunther's hand and walked out and into the babies' room, he took Gorgonzolas and Gunther took Jehovah. Gunther helped pack a few things of Shrek's and the kid's. and they left, Shrek was now going to stay at Gunther's house until he saw fit.


TO BE CONTINUED????