First Class Camouflage

The worst day....

This morning we woke up to our favorite song blasting on the alarm. I rolled over to see Nathan sitting on his bed with his bag on his lap staring at the wall. He was just staring as though he was deep in thought like he was alone in his own world. He began to scan the room taking it all in for the last time, than his eyes meet mine. I finally saw the tears in his eyes and the concern in his face. I had only seen this look on occasion. The first time I remember seeing that look was when he was trying to teach me how to ride a bike. He of course learned first and picked it up naturally as for me I finally agreed to learn a year and a half later. I remember him and me laughing as he held on to the end of the seat promising me that he wouldn't let go. But we all know that is the lie everyone tells, eventually he let go and I fell, I fell hard. I sat there and I cried as he ran over with the same look he has on right now. I didn't like it then and I don't like it now.
"Nate" I whisper. He looks at me and said nothing. "Nathan, don't do this! Okay everything is fine. I am fine, your fine. Moms fine. Just take today one step at a time." He slowly nods "one step at a time" I say again. He stands up fixes his hair pulls down his shirt and similes. "Morning Emmy! Sleep well?" He is trying to act as though nothing is wrong so I follow suit "I would have slept better if I wasn't on the floor listening to you snore all night" laughing we joke casually. After a few minutes of this I couldn't help but run over and give him a hug. God this is going to be one hell of a day! We stand there for what seems like hours just holding each other. Nether of is cry or talk or laugh it is completely silent. Pretty soon we hear mom by the door, I love my mom but she looked horrible as though she had been up all night crying. "Mom everything is okay I will.." That's as far as he got before she raises her hand signaling him to stop as the tears form in her eyes. "I don't want to hear it" she says quietly as though she is going to brake. She takes a deep breath and smiles then in the most cheerful tone she can manage she says that breakfast is on the table and getting cold. Then she turned around walked straight in to her room and we had to pretend we didn't hear her crying. I look at Nathan and for the second time in two hours I feel like he is in another world. "Race you down" I shout as I take of running. Soon enough I hear the sound of his foot steps running down the hall then I am air born and being tossed over his shoulder like I weigh nothing at all. Yesterday was my day to be a baby about the situation today is the day I need to not only be strong for my mom but my brother as well. After breakfast we all pile in to his truck because he begged us to let him drive it one more time. An hour and a half later we arrive in a parking lot where bus after bus is lined up to take the new recruits to base. I stare out the window as he tries to find a parking space not wanting to look ether of them in the eyes as my strength was starting to waver. The car stops but none of us move I know that I have to be the one to break the silence. "Nate if we don't go your going to get a bad seat on the bus and we all know how you are on long drives" I nag he smiles and grabs my shoulder than smiles "come on guys you can walk me to the bus it will be like the first day of school!" My mom laughs and we all get out. He grabs his bag from the trunk than tucks me under this left arm and my mom under his right we walk like this until we are forced to come apart at the check in table. After all the formalities are over with I step aside to give my mom and him a minute to say there goodbyes. After they have there moment it is my turn as she walks away towards the car. "Emmy get over here and give big brother a hug!" He jokes. I run over to my best friend who has his arms wide open laughing knowing that I won't be doing this any other time soon. We stand there and he holds me while I cry. I step back to find that he is crying too. "Emmy I love you be good for mom okay. No trouble. And have fun at school I know it was a hard choice for you to pick the one closest to home to be with mom but I promise you when I get home we are going to spend two weeks in New York for Christmas it will be a trip of a life time." By now I am sobbing again "you promise" I finally get out "yes I promise " he said in a shaken up tone "now tell me you love me so I can get on the bus before these guys see me cry like a toddler!"
"Okay! I love you be safe okay!! Call me!" I didn't know it but those would be my last words to my twin brother.