FAR FROM ERIS • FreenBecky •

FIFTEEN

Rebecca drove for about ten minutes in the opposite direction of the city. Freen had no idea where she was taking her, but everything seemed unimportant as she stared at Becky's perfect profile, concentrated on the road. Freen knew she was staring at her for much longer than socially appropriate for someone you've known for a short time, but she felt she had to seize those moments when Becky was off guard to memorize her features. As if she couldn't bear to look Becky in the eyes when she returned her gaze.

She felt strangely intimidated, which was quite rare because Freen hadn't felt any particular way about anyone for years. But Becky managed to make her nervous and turn her into someone clumsy and inarticulate. And she was a writer, for God's sake; if there was one thing she knew how to do, it was putting words together.

Freen tried to manage this whirlwind of emotional information while keeping her gaze fixed on Becky's face. -I'm not one to get nervous, but I'm starting to wonder if I left toothpaste on my face,- Becky said with a smile, still looking at the road.

Freen tensed suddenly and couldn't find the words to explain that yes, she had been staring at her. But it wasn't necessary because Becky was already parking the car in what seemed like the middle of nowhere. -We've arrived- she said, unbuckling her seatbelt. -Let's go.-

It took Freen a moment to react, but by that point, she was more than convinced that Becky thought she was a little crazy, so resignedly, she got out of the car as she watched the girl take a blanket and a couple of cushions from the trunk.

They walked a few meters until they entered what looked like a meadow. The grass was tall and lush, enjoying its height after the winter rains and the first caresses of spring. Becky spread out the blanket and placed the cushions as pillows, lying down on one of them. She looked at Freen, then at the space next to her, and again at Freen.

-I don't bite.-

-What a shame,- Freen murmured almost inaudibly.

-What? I didn't hear you.-

-Nothing, just nonsense,- Freen said, slowly sitting down on the blanket.

-Aren't you lying down?-

-Aren't you worried about bugs?-

-That's no way to refer to yourself- Becky said, smiling.

-You're an idiot,- Freen said, laughing, and then immediately covered her mouth with wide-open eyes. -Sorry, Becky, I don't know why I said that, excuse me.-

-Freen, it's okay.- They were so close that Freen could feel the heat emanating from her body. And that was strangely comforting. -It's okay, I also think you're an idiot. Now lie down, it's going to happen.-

Freen didn't know what Becky meant, but as she lay down, she began to hear a deafening noise nearby that made her sit up. Becky's hand rested on her shoulder, and Freen felt that electric current run down her spine again. -Lie down,- Becky said, pulling the girl back until she finally managed to lie down beside her.

Their shoulders touched, and neither of them was relaxed. However, it was not at all an uncomfortable situation. In fact, if they had to name what both felt, it would probably be anticipation.

The sound grew louder until Becky grabbed the sides of the cushion under her head and covered her ears, while indicating to Freen with her eyes to do the same. And suddenly, an immense mass of air pulled them upward, lifting their bodies a few centimeters off the ground as a giant plane took off over them. Freen felt like her heart wanted to jump out of her chest. She looked at Becky, who had her eyes closed, enjoying the residual adrenaline rushes. Once again, Freen was completely fixated on her face. She wanted to reach out and touch the line from the end of her eye to her chin. She wanted to feel her skin.

Becky opened her eyes and looked at the sky, smiling at that moment.

-That was amazing, wasn't it?-

-Yes, it was,- Freen said, without taking her eyes off Becky's face.

-I'm sorry I didn't warn you. But this way, the experience is more spectacular.-

-No, it certainly was,- Freen said, rubbing her chest, still trying to recover from the shock of being practically under a plane. -Do you do this often?-

-Less and less. I used to do it a lot a few years ago when I needed to feel something to keep from going crazy,- Becky murmured.

-I understand what you mean,- Freen replied.

-What about you?-

-Me? Nothing.-

Becky looked at her, raising her eyebrows, inviting her to elaborate on her answer.

-I don't know, I had never felt the need to feel something again. I guess at some point, I got used to apathy.-

-I also thought that staying in that gray place would help me. But the truth is that feeling the airplanes sucking your soul to then return you to earth helped me understand that we're here for a short time. And we have to do something with it.-

-Like what?-

-Well, today, for example, I could have gone home without a second thought, but here I am with you, talking about soul-sucking airplanes, sharing a day that I usually spend alone.-

-What's special about today?- Freen asked curiously.

Becky sighed. -Today marks six years since my grandmother died,- she said, returning her gaze to the sky. -Sometimes I wish those airplanes would lift me up high enough to see if, by chance, I run into her up there.-

-I'm so sorry,- Freen said, turning to look at the girl's profile, now lost in the stars.

-Thank you,- she said, turning around, suddenly finding herself face to face with the girl, just a few centimeters from her. -And I'm sorry for talking about my late grandmother. I think I've cut the mood.-

-Don't say nonsense. You can tell me whatever you want,- Freen whispered.

A comfortable silence fell between them as they lay back down to look at the stars. Curiously, the hustle of turning on their sides and rearranging themselves had brought them much closer, and now their hands touched.

They stayed silent for a while, listening to some distant planes and the crickets singing around them. Freen seemed to have finally relaxed after her pulse reached unexplored limits for her, and now she breathed rhythmically while Becky didn't miss a detail of how her chest rose and fell at a perfect pace.

-Do you want to go back?- Becky asked.

-To my apartment, you mean?- Freen replied.

-Yes, well, each to her own, I mean, you to your apartment and me to Patty's house,- Rebecca stumbled suddenly, and Freen smiled.

-Yes, me to my apartment and you to Patty's house,- she said, laughing as she stood up, shaking her pants. She reached out her hand to help the girl up.

Becky grabbed Freen's hand and felt that electric shock again every time she was close to the girl. She couldn't describe in words what it caused her; it wasn't cold or heat, or anything that could be explained with words. She got up, pulling her body to stand in front of her. Maybe closer than she had planned as she got up.

Several seconds passed as Freen deeply inhaled Becky's scent, which hit her like a tsunami when the girl stood up. She was somewhat dizzy, overwhelmed by the amount of things she was feeling after years in the absolute emotional limbo, and she surprised herself thinking about how much she wanted to bury her face in Becky's neck to memorize her smell. She shook her shoulders as if trying to shake off that thought before the girl noticed, and she watched as they walked towards the car to go back home. Becky was more than two meters away from her, and her scent was still in Freen's head. She suspected she wouldn't be able to get rid of it.

*