𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐨𝐧

𝟎𝟐𝟗 - 𝐒𝐚𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐞

M A T T H E W B E N E D I C T
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My hand runs over my mouth as I by passed and watched the streets of New York City. My entire body felt malnourished, purposely deprived from sleep and food. The tiredness in my body threatened to take over but I didn't allow it. Hunger made my mouth water, but my mind was settled elsewhere.

My mind was settled on Celine.

Every single morning for the past 3 weeks, Celine Grant was there when I made the decision to finally take on the day. It wasn't until today when she wasn't there when I realized that being with her gave the push that I needed during these rough times. Everyone around me seemed to resent me, everyone shoved their problems down my throats and expected me to fix them quickly. Even my own grandmother expected me to fix problems that she hasn't been able to in the last seventy-three years that she's been alive.

Everyone that surrounded me expected me to be perfect... everyone except for Celine Grant. Although I had troubles connecting with my actual emotions in some moments, I knew that Celine was my peace.

Realization hit me when the only person I wanted to be around after my grandmother threatened to take away every single thing that I worked hard for was her.

Even on the plane ride back to New York after seeing my parents for the first time in years, I felt some sort of calmness because she comforted me.

Chaotic was the only word to describe the world that I've been forced to live in for the past twelve years of my life.

And I found it amazing that some college girl came along and made me develop an unfamiliar level of comfortability with her. That level of solace that I got from her couldn't be given from anyone else in my life.

I love her.

So, when she wasn't there this morning, everything seemed to come crashing down at a rapid pace.

The blindness that I've gotten from love had suddenly vanished, and I was forced to face every single thing that I have been avoiding. The realization of just how exhausted I was hit me like a wrecking ball.

Because the reality of all of this is that I'm
human just like everybody else in my family. No matter how much they mentally and physically prepared me, I couldn't face all of the pressure that they were giving me.

Or at least I couldn't face all the pressure without the comfort of Celine.

I knew that it wasn't good for me to remind Celine of the predicament that I placed her in,
and there's really no excuse for me to doing it. Even during the heat of the moment my mind told me that it wasn't smart.

My main purpose for saying that was to frustrate Celine just like she was doing me during that moment and that was strictly it. The last thing that I expected or wanted was for her to run away.

And I'm not even sure how the hell I didn't expect that conclusion because it's Celine Grant that we're talking about. The same person who believes that every single sentence had a double meaning.

Her saying that something was weird with Elmira caught me off guard completely. Primarily because out of everyone, Elmira was honestly the last person who I would put on the list to betray me.

It was obvious that somebody was making plans on betraying me... that was something that I could no longer try to avoid believing. Micheal suggested that someone was snooping behind my back but according to him it could be everyone but Elmira and that made sense. Like he said, Elmira's status depended on me strictly on me and my business.