eternal sunshine

𝓣𝓦𝓞: 𝓣𝓐𝓛𝓚𝓘𝓝𝓖 𝓣𝓞 𝓣𝓗𝓔 𝓜𝓞𝓞𝓝

     Odessa stared up at the ceiling covered in glow-in-the-dark stars. Nadia had wanted them put in when she was 3. Odessa didn't protest because she hated to admit it but sometimes she hated the dark. Sometimes it scared her and she hated that at her age she was occasionally afraid of the dark. "What is wrong with me?" she uttered, turning over and seeing her sister's flower night light. She pushed the purple satin sheets off her, slipping her feet into her black crocs. Taking one last look at her sleeping sister before climbing onto the fire escape. Odessa usually found herself praying that because they had different fathers Nadia would be spared some of the feelings and thoughts she had. There were about 10 minutes in which Odessa experienced peace and calm before a small voice filled the night air.

     "Ate, what are you doing up there?" Odessa sat up and looked over the edge of the roof to confirm that she was not seeing and hearing things again and he sister, who should be asleep, was standing on the fire escape.

     "Nothing, Nadi. Go back to bed."

     "Can I join you?" Odessa let out an exhale. She loved her little sister but at this moment she wanted to be alone. That wasn't going to happen, Nadia wouldn't fall asleep until Odessa rejoined her in their room and that wasn't going to be for a while.

     "Be very careful and only for a little while." The girl smiled as she climbed up. Odessa stuck out her hands to help Nadia over. The young girl's dark brown eyes scanned every angle of the city at such a height. She looked up to see the crescent moon.

     "Can you usually see the stars?" Nadia sat next to Odessa on the blanket that was stored in the garden tool shed for when she came up.

     "No. New York produces too much light." The young girl groaned.

     "I wish we lived somewhere like the country. I bet you can see all the stars there. And they're beautiful."

     "Me too." Odessa had lived her whole life in New York and would only leave the state to visit her lola in Las Vegas.

     "Ate?" Odessa turned to the young girl. They shared the same dark eyes but Nadia's hair was jet black and her skin was slightly lighter. "Why are you mad at Mama?"

     "I'm not mad at her." Even Odessa didn't believe herself.

      "Then why didn't you guys talk at dinner? You always talk at dinner and almost always say some lyrics from the song you've been working on but not today. Is everything alright?"

     "Yeah, Nadi. It's-It's just dumb. It doesn't matter."

     "Seems like it matters," Nadia spoke picking at her pink sparkly nail polish. "You seemed upset." Odessa hated how emotionally aware her little sister was.

     "I'm fine. I'll get over it. I always do," Odessa looked at her black 3-week-old painted nails that needed to be repainted. "Come on you need to be in bed. You have school tomorrow." The young girl groaned.

     "But you're going to come back up here once I fall asleep," Nadia huffed.

     "You finish school next month, right?" The girl nodded. "Then the day you finish we can come up here for as long as you'd like." A smile from ear to ear decorated her face displaying the missing top tooth.

     "Promise?" Nadia stuck out her pinky and Odessa interlocked her ring-decorated pinky with her sisters.

     "I promise. Come on, so mom's not upset that you won't wake up tomorrow." The two girls stood and Odessa put the blanket where it goes. She went down first to help Nadia into their bedroom. Their mother was standing at the front door with her arms crossed.

     "Busted," Nadia uttered looking at the woman in her silk pajama set. Her long dark brown hair was in braids that were pinned to her head to look like a crown.

     "Odessa Libertad and Nadia Elizabeth, what are you doing?" First and middle names luckily that wasn't as bad as first, middle, and last with a strong Filipino accent. But it was still bad.

     "Sleepwalking?" Odessa spoke closing her eyes and sticking her arms out in front of her. Nadia did the same but couldn't contain her laughter. That made the older brunette laugh.

     "Funny. Get to bed, now, please. Both of you," spoke Calliope firmly.

     "Yes, ma'am," Odessa closed the door and made her way to her bed being stopped by her mom.

     "Sweet dreams, Iha," Calliope told her kissing her forehead.

"Thanks, mom." Odessa needed that after the last few days she had. She got into her bed and watched as her mom did the same to Nadia.

     "Go to sleep, my girls. I'll make waffles for breakfast." Nadia smiled looking at the woman.

     "With strawberries and chocolate?" questioned the girl.

     "The only way, Inday," smiled the woman. She leaned against the door frame looking back and forth between her daughters. Her brown eyes lingered on Odessa more. She knew how lost and jumbled her daughter must feel about life and herself. Calliope had a way to aid with that but she was unsure how to start the conversation. How to be taken seriously when divulging such information about the impossible? She knew she had to figure it out soon because Odessa would only grow more curious and concerned about the new occurrences around and within her.

      "With coffee?" Nadia asked. She liked copying her mother and sister as little kids did. She let her hair grow out so she could have long, luscious braids like them. She asked her dad to teach her guitar despite her liking dance more than music just because she knew how much Odessa liked playing guitar and how comforting it was for her.

       "In your dreams, Nadia. Good night, sweet girls."
  
      "Good night, mama," spoke the girls in unison as the door was beginning to close. "Good night, ate," Nadia turned to her side to look at Odessa.

      "Good night, Nadi." Nadia reached to turn off the nightlight. She decided that she should try to stop sleeping without it. "Could you leave it? I'll turn it off later." Nadia nodded not questioning her older sister.

       At 2 AM Odessa climbed back onto the roof. She hadn't been able to sleep. After 30 minutes of looking at the light-polluted sky ridden of the beauty of stars, she decided to distract her mind from analyzing the constantly occurring instances that made her question her sanity. She wrote songs until the sun rose, which she always liked doing but hated how difficult it could be sometimes because of her dyslexia.