It can't be him

Chapter 1

August 2022

"Thank you, Los Angeles! You've been an amazing crowd tonight. Let's see each other soon. Bye-bye!!", Aster said, waving to the concert crowd. 70,000 thousand people cheered, screaming "Dawnlight". The adrenaline rush was still coursing through the members as well as the fans.

"Please get back home safely. It's pretty cold tonight, isn't it? Take care of yourselves.", Zach added, showing off his dazzling smile which led to even more screaming and squealing. He is a charmer.

"Adios! Until we meet again!" Damon enthusiastically waved to the crowd. He was sweating profusely after an energy-packed ending performance. In fact, all four of them have barely caught their breaths.

"We love you loads, Sunshines!" Mia concluded, addressing the fans by the fandom name. She was making those big heart gestures with her hands. It was so cute, that the other three followed suit.

"We love you, Sunshines!" all four of the dawnlight members shouted, waving, making hand hearts, until they were away from the crowd's vision. The moment they were out of public sight, each one of them crumbled to the floor, thoroughly exhausted after a 3-hour concert. One would think that they would be used to it by now, considering they've been performing since 2016. But giving each performance their all means exhausting your body to this extent.

"Are you alright?" a familiar soft voice grabbed all four of their attention. Kneeling in front of Damon with water bottles in her hands was Iseul, his recently discovered soulmate. Damon immediately fell into her arms, holding onto her as he tried to calm himself down. Iseul froze for a few seconds, not used to the physical contact yet, much less in front of so many people. Iseul was still so shy when it came to her soulmate, the blush covering her pale cheeks being the evidence. Nonetheless, she relaxed and held Damon, hoping to help him regain his energy.

The other three looked on at the couple with amused smiles gracing their lips. He was the second one among them to find his mate. They were so happy for their friend. He was, after all, waiting to find his other half ever since he hit 23. Poor guy had to wait for 3 years to finally meet her. Neither did it help that she only turned 23 this year, nor that she lived in Seoul. It was a miracle they found each other. It wouldn't have happened if they hadn't performed at a fest at Seoul National University 2 months back. College fests are not something they normally perform at. In fact, they were gonna reject the request initially. But something made Mia convince everyone to accept it.

They still had no logical explanation. It was just a feeling. They met Iseul as she was one of the student organizers. The moment Damon found his soulmate was something from the movies. Her passing him a water bottle after the performance, him accidentally grazing her fingers while taking it, them making eye contact for the first time.... Ah! It was so romantic! Iseul had to move with Damon to New York. She has taken a gap year at university to figure things out. For now, she's traveling with him as Dawnlight is on tour. It helps them strengthen their bond and get to know each other better.

"Great work today, guys! Let's get back to the hotel and call it a day. Oh, what do you want for dinner?" Maria, their manager, grabbed their attention with her loud voice. Maria has been managing the group ever since their debut. The 45-year-old is pretty much their second mom in how she takes care of them.

"We can order room service. I'm too tired to go sit in a restaurant" Mia said. She's barely sitting up, feeling dead tired. It didn't help that her soulmate wasn't here to help her heal.

"I agree. We should go back to the hotel" Thanvi chimed in. "Yeah, let's go," Zach agreed.

With that, all of them left for the dressing room. Within twenty minutes, all of them were in their cars heading to the hotel. "I thought he was attending the concert." Thanvi slowly asked Mia. It was only the two of them in the car. Damon and Iseul were in another car and Zach was traveling with their manager. "Well, I got a text in the morning that he can't make it. Something about his schedule extending." Mia muttered, still tired. "Still, he could've tried to make it. It's been a month since you both saw each other. You need him more since it's been hectic these two weeks" Thanvi countered. She was not pleased to see her friend struggling so much. " Well, he's so busy that even the text I got was from his manager. So who am I going to argue with? His manager?" Mia snapped, irritated. She knew she was taking out her frustration with her soulmate (now boyfriend) on her friend, but she was too tired to care. Besides, she knew Thanvi enough to know that she wouldn't take it to heart. "Alright, let's just get some good food, drink some cold beer and sleep. How does that sound? Hmm?" Thanvi asked, not affected by her bandmate's harsh reply. "Can we also watch Parks and Rec till we fall asleep?" Mia asked. Thanvi grinned, amused by their mutual love for the sitcom. "Of course, I won't have it any other way," she replied. The conversion dwindled as the two women were lost in their thoughts.

----------------

THANVI

The next day, they were in a studio to participate in the popular talk show, "The Hellen Docmuffin Show". Everything was going fine. They had fun playing some games and then talked about their tour that's happening at the moment. Damon was asked about finding his soulmate and his feelings. He answered them politely and moved on. Everything was fine until Ellen turned to Mia. "Mia, you've been with your soulmate for about a year now, am I right?" Hellen asked cheerfully. "It has been 10 months now" Mia replied politely, not liking the direction of the question. "So, when are you planning to introduce the gentleman to the world?" Oh boy! Hellen did not just ask Mia that. Thanvi could see Mia getting uncomfortable and slightly pissed. After all, this was not part of the original script. The conniving hag just sprang it on them. However, Mia kept her cool. "Not anytime soon. We are still getting to know each other due to my busy schedule and he does not wish to come under the limelight yet," she answered politely. "But there are rumors that your soulmate is also someone popular. Don't you think your fans deserve to know? They are so excited." Thanvi could feel the awkward air among her bandmates. All she wants now is to get out of here. Mia impressively kept her calm again. "Of course, the fans might be excited. But our Sunshines also respect our privacy a lot. So I'm sure that they'll wait patiently for me. Right, guys?" she turned to the crowd with a smile. The crowd cheered loudly in response. It's these moments that warm Thanvi's heart. They got really lucky with their fandom, huh? Her thoughts were interrupted when Hellen directed her question to Thanvi. She could already feel dread take over her body. "Aster '', Ellen started, calling her by her stage name, "is it true that you are not looking forward to finding your soulmate? You have at multiple times pointed out your dislike towards the idea of soulmates. Now that two of your bandmates have found their respective soulmates, have your feelings changed?" Thanvi regrets the interview more and more with every second. "No, it has not changed my views. While I'm very happy for my friends, I am not looking forward to finding my soulmate. It is a complication I don't want in my life." she responded hoping the woman would just drop it. But no, it does not seem to be the case. "But by dismissing the bond, aren't you also disrespecting your loved ones who have found their mates?" Hellen pressed. "Why would it be disrespectful? I am happy for them as long as they are happy. I don't want the same for me because it complicates our situation. Damon's soulmate had to literally stop her studies and move countries to be with him. Mia and her soulmate are always struggling to work around our schedule because he can't move for her due to his work. It's hard. Fortunately, it's worth it for them. But there's no guarantee that it'll be worth it for me. Why would I risk it? I would rather never find mine." Thanvi replied, trying to not get carried away. It's already a sensitive subject, and she hates being questioned about it. It pissed her even more that she's going off script so much. "But-" Hellen started. "I think everyone has the right to have their own opinion, especially when it affects only their life. I think we should move on to other topics" Zach politely interjected, saving Thanvi from another controversy. The interview went on without any problems after that. One hour later, they were on their way back to the hotel. Thanvi was upset with herself. She let the question get to her. She hates how the topic triggers her. She's their spokesperson for a reason. Normally, she can handle situations with tact. But the topic of soulmates always troubles her, and the media knows that too. They now have a weapon to attack her with, and she absolutely hates it.

Thanvi looked out at the scenery outside, leaning on the glass window. She has always wanted to fall in love, but the idea of forcing herself to love her soulmate didn't sit well with her. She hates that it's been decided for her. Thanvi believes in making her own life decisions. She has always trusted herself and made her own decisions. She went against her parent's wishes when she debuted as a rapper. She chose to major in architecture in college when her parents wanted her to study medicine to follow in her dad's footsteps (Now, this is a big deal considering she's from a somewhat conservative Malayali family). She still dates guys she likes who are not her soulmates. So, having this decision already taken for her by fate does not make her happy. She would rather choose someone who her personality would match with. Someone with similar views as her. It's not guaranteed with a soulmate that your life views or goals will align. Look at her parents. They are different people with different dreams and political views. They have been together for 25 years now. They still don't love each other. They coexist because their bond forces them to need each other. She does not want that. Thanvi knows that her soulmate might happen to be everything she wants, but the possibility of them being a bad person scares her. She would rather not meet him than be stuck in a pathetic relationship because of a stupid bond she has no control over. She turned 24 this year, managing to not find the guy for 1 year now and she's hoping to keep it that way.