I hate the question "aRe YoU oK?"
The question alone pisses me off, and what makes it worse is when my mom asks me that question.
She'll start the conversation a little bit like this ⬇️
"Hey, sweetheart. I heard from so and so that you were acting differently today. Is everything alright? Would you like to talk about it?"
It makes me think that if I act even a tad bit different than the respectful way, I would normally act at home, then I've got something completely wrong with me.
It frustrates me so much when she does that. I mean, I like that she's concerned for me, but, like, what else would you expect from a teenager.
She asked me this question today because I've locked myself in my room to read my wattpad books and listen to my music with my headphones on.
I mean, it's not like you've got me doing something to keep me active 24/7. Plus, you're at work most of the time anyway, so why worry.
I understand that you want me to stay in reality, but like, where is that reality?
In my opinion, reality can only truly be seen by trauma or something depressing happening to your life or to your person.
So what do you want me to do, woman? I'm fourteen. I'm starting high school in August. And I'll be with my family most of the time anyway.
My mom wants me to call one of my friends once every day. To do some form of art once every day. Do some form of organizing once every day.
It's like, OK, I get it. You want to keep me busy. I don't want to be busy. I want to be lazy.
My mom asked me to think of something that she could do to help me from being unhealthy lost in my own world. She won't be there to do that. Also, why would she ask me this the week before I have to leave to go visit my grandparents. It's only going to last one week and then you'll forget about it. There is really no point. And I bet you she's going to remember that I had asked her to help me, bu doing whatever it is I'd asked her to do, when I'm busy doing something else.
I hate that the first thing that parents think of when we do something out of the ordinary is that something is wrong and we need to talk to someone about it. Like, let me be me woman. You haven't met school me. School me is very different from at home me, and I highly doubt you'll aprove of what I act like when I'm with my friends at school.
That's another thing I hate: when we are with our friends, we are given the freedom to act and talk like there is nononw around me to stop me from being the person that I am. Evrutime an adult is in the room children, more specifically teenagers, go from happy carefree 'I don't give a fuck'to 'I am respectful to the adults around me and I don't won't get in trouble for doing something g wrong in accident'.
Adults, ore likely parents, think that we have no filter sometimes or that we act too immature to be grown-ups. But what they don't know is that, that is our filter, that us us be as respectful as we can be while being ourselves. Even for those who are more open about their personality infront of their parents and other adults, there are just some things that parents don't normally see in their kids that, when shown, they think it's them going through something that needs to be talked about.
My mom described why she thinks I'm 'acting different'. She says that I am usually a very happy and outgoing person. That I'm a kindhearted girl who sees the best in people. And then she continues to tell me that I've been 'bitchy' 'rude' 'secluded' 'kept to myself'. Again I'm fourteen, the fuck do you think I, as a teenager, am supposed to act.
I do understand some of her concerns, though. I am on wattpad for an unhealthy amount of time. But, I mean, again, what does she want me to do while she's gone at work, I'm going to be in my own world no matter what I do, so what's the point?
Sometimes I do think that I've fallen into a depression. But what teenager, or pre-teen hasn't? It's not like I can help it, unless you can speed up the work happening on your teeth and get me get a therapist to ask me the same questions you do.
That leads to another thing I hate: adults, or just people in general, thinking I know what's wrong with me. Like, if I knew what was wrong with me, don't think I would've told my mom? Don't you think she would've asked to see if my theories are correct so I can help?
It's not Mt fault the world sucks. It's also not my fault I just don't know things that are happening to me.
Do you know what's happening to you?
Do you know why you do things that make your mom question your sanity?
If you know the answer to the questions above please me your answers. They might be the answers I'm looking, but then again what is anyone really for. Life? Freedom? Love? Money?
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For those of you who read this, thank you for reading my nonsense. Most of you can alternatives for what I've wrote, and I'd love to hear them. I'd also love to hear what you've got about what I've wrote. Let that be you adding on to something or any criticism you have twords something, or explaining something I might not be seeing. Anything yoy comment in here is welcome. Til next time
-Slitherpuff
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Random thoughts
Randomthis is just me having the most random thoughts. the thoughts could be questions, quotes, a story idea, some what ifs. literally just me venting. if you don't care don't read.
