My heart beats for you

'Wrong' things

A sigh escaped him after some time before he slowly let go. I couldn't look at him as we sat together. He started munching on the fries and when I picked some to eat, he chuckled, making me look up at him. 

"I wish we could at least have a moment like this," he said, picking the ketchup. "But I know we wouldn't," he added. 

He was right. The only time we have is a rare chance. I hide the emotions that would reflect my eyes and push down the surge of feelings once I let afloat myself. Pain replaces everything and I conceal it with a smile. 

"Hey, finish eating. Let's walk. If possible, I want to walk you home," he said, snapping me from my thoughts.

We walk together inside the mall chatting about small things about ourselves in these current times. We laughed at small jokes and punchlines during our chat. I can feel his hands brushing against mine and I was too tempted to grab it or link my arms against his, but I fight myself not to get carried away and do something stupid. 

The Mall premises are bright. As we leave the building, the lights start to diminish to the perimeters down to the streets. We continue our chat reminiscing about the old days and some people that are a part of it. At that hour, the vehicle crosses the streets blaring with lots of lights hitting the road in front and on the sideways. I could feel the light hitting my face, which made me look at him from time to time.

"You know what? I'll miss you after this night." He said, catching me off guard.

He glances at me and smile, but I let out a silent retort as replying would make things worse. The road that we will take is ahead of us and it won't be long before we reach it. But then a four-seater e-bike approached us and he greeted the driver. Turns out It was his colleague with the same profession as his but doing 'sideline'. He invited us for a free ride and he accepted it before pulling me to load in and sit beside him intertwining his hands on mine and hiding them underneath my small shoulder bag.

"Only this night," he whispered to me as I tried to pull my hand nervously.

They talked along the trip but a call interrupted it. The man stopped the vehicle and motioned to him before stepping out of the vehicle and walking away to answer a call. We sit in silence having our hands linked against each other.

"Hey, what's your plan in your life?" he asked.

" My plan? I don't know what else to do. I almost have everything now. Asking for too much is not good but if I was blessed then I will accept it." I said looking at him. 

"I see. What if we get a chance in the future?"

"Don't dream."

"But, I couldn't stop it."

I sighed and felt his hand under my chin. The place was dim and few vehicles passed to us. The driver was facing away still responding to a call on his phone loudly. I turned to him before he could pull my face towards him.

"Please, if you have remaining respect for me, proceed in life," I said maintaining my voice. 

"Why?" his voice filled with hurt.

"Because I love you and I still do even though 7 years have passed yet.... It's just a dream we can never have so I want to save you even if I am the one to suffer in this." I couldn't hold myself from saying it.

Silence filled it and the driver went back to us "Hey dude. I am sorry if I can't drive, I got to pick something in the ark." the man said. "Will you take long? How about we wait?" he asked in his jolly tune. The driver then agreed and left and there we were stuck for a while sitting on the passenger seat of the E-bike in that dim corner.

"I love you," he said after a motorbike passed by.

"Yeah. I know. I know it even before you say it." I said staring away.

He let go of my hand and sighed and I inwardly sighed as another vehicle passed by. I scroll through my phone but then I felt a sudden move and before I could process what it was, I was suspended on his lips. He gently grabbed my head and pulled it deeper towards him as he started nibbling on my lips. his other hand snaked on my other side pulling me close to him as the hands that held my cell phone rested on his chest against mine.

I panicked and pushed him back and he lightly pulled away breathing heavily and looking into my eyes. His heart races fast as well as mine but I worry someone would see us. Against the dimness of that corner, I peered into his eyes reflecting pleading and pain. He moved again and gently kissed my lips and that tenderness melted me into the kiss making me return it to him sharing our first-ever kiss.

He deepens the kiss yet gently claims my lips and I return it to him giving my heart in silence. Practically his lips aren't warm like I usually read in novels and whatnot but my heart tells me it burning and I feel a little light like I am going to lose consciousness. The crazy thing is time seems to favour the chance as there is no one to come or any vehicle to pass by. I don't know but maybe time stands still. The kiss lasted a little more until we both pulled for air. I pushed him and returned to sitting properly while he didn't move an inch.

"I know it's wrong but. Even though it is wrong, I never regret having these feelings. Every night I pray that I can pour you this love I have for you and every time I wish, I only want to have you. You might be thinking of what people will say but I don't give any slightest care. Someday, I hope we can have a chance to free what we both feel until then I won't stop wishing for us. I hope you wouldn't hold back when that time came." He said.