Tara POV:
I had finally woke up and the room was spinning. My vision was blurry and I was on Oxagen and fluids. My mom was on the chair next to me, my dad on the cot. My mom probably fought him on that. To stay close to me. I saw my all siblings, sound asleep on chairs in the hall. It cant be happening! I cant be sick again! Look at them, my family, I stole childhoods and birthdays, and my mom and dad's happy family! Its almost 6am, they most probably all slept here on those chairs and they have school and work to worry about. They shouldn't worry about me all day every day. I looked at my mom, so peaceful, and tired. She's been crying and my dad looks stressed. Is it bad that sometimes I wish I can go and save them all the anxiety and pain?
I didn't mean to, but I must have shifted my because my mom woke up."THANK GOD!!" she started crying. My dad and Brooke woke up too.
"How are you tarebear?" My dad asked stroking my hair.
"Better" I say in a very not sexy raspy voice.
"How long have you been waiting in those chairs" I asked. They look at me all surpassed and worried.
"T, you've been asleep for 3 days" Brooke said breaking the silence.Then my world comes to a halt, when Dr. Cooper, my oncologist, walk in with a nurse. I saw his face. He tried to smile through it but I knew!
"No!" I know what this means. "Dont say it! Please don't say it!!" the tears stream down my face!
"Im so sorry, sweetness. The cancer came back, and its more aggressive than ever. It is slowly starting to attack each organ"
"What can we do?" My mom asked.
"No" everyone looked at me socked. "Dr Cooper, how long?"
"Dont think of tha-"
"How long?"
"6 months, maybe longer if you treat it. But Im not sure if there is a lot we can do to cure it at this point its stage 4. All we can do now is either leave it to kill you in 6 months. Or fight like hell to extend your time alive. I cant promise to cure you. But I promise I will fight to try to get improvement and some time."
What the hell do I do?
*****
After they all cried left, I called Nanette. I must be in shock or something because I cant cry. If I take the 6 months of no chemo and me being vibrant and alive, is that better then wilting away with a little more than 6 months? Slow, more pain, no energy, more chemo, and more time vs. less pain, faster, more energy, less time. These options suck.
Nanette walked in, mascara everywhere. She knows. I open my arms and she flys into them. "Itll be alright! Im fine!"
"Bullshit" she spits. "You're dying!!"
"Yea thats just a small tiny detail"She bitterly laughs. "Not funny!"
"I have to make a choice. My family said they'll back me but they don't mean it. They want me to do chemo and have slim chances of making it." I say holding back tears.
"As much as I want to say 'ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? DUHH, TAKE THE DAMN TIME YOU DUMBASS' I will say this. You gotta do whats best for you. Are you comfortable leaving this all behind? Did you do whatever you have dreamed of doing? Are you okay with leaving this all behind? Your life, family, friends? The stupid decisions, the stories to live and tell, bailing me out when I need you?" We laugh because its true. "Are you done making your mark? Have you finished your bucket list basically what I'm asking here?"
"I dont have one..."
"What?" She asked bluntly.
"Ive always worried about them I never really focused much on that. I study remember!"
"HOLY SHIT! LETS MAKE ONE!" She smiled from ear to ear. "Ask Dr. Sexy Dream boat Pants if you can make up you mind in a month. Tell him you need to think it through. In that month we do you bucket list. And if you feel content you go, *sigh* you go in 5 months knowing you left you mark with no regrets. But if you fail, and don't feel content after the month, you fight like hell till you got no more fight in you! Because I wont let you slip away with regrets. I won't!"
God she's good!... "Im going to find DR COOPER, and tell him my compromise"
"YAY!! We need paper my little angel pie (code for prude) we have a list to make!"
YOU ARE READING
My Bucket List (L.H. <3)
FanfictionTara isn't just the ordinary head cheerleader. She's smart, beautiful, genuine, and is living with cancer. She forms a bucket list of things to do in case the cancer takes her. Her journey is full of fun, adventure and has some unintended helpers. ...
