The Awoken (an ACOTAR story)

XIII: Malukah

I had told myself and Angharad that I'd sort my thoughts first before attempting to break the curse on my people, but I changed my mind. With everything going on, perhaps it was best to have a distraction from it all. To help a people so helpless to help themselves.

And it was true- perhaps it would refill Tamlin's court with cured Naga. They were intelligent and knew when to listen. As seen with Angharad, I knew they were very good listeners even when they didn't need to be. He had filled me in vaguely on what Lucien had told me about the war, and even told me what a mate was, when those things didn't even pertain to him exactly.

I half expected Tamlin to volunteer to come as well, to protect me from Cian. But he practically jumped from his chair at the thought when I had revealed my plans to help the Naga. And perhaps it would be for the best. I never was one good at defending myself. Even growing thorns into Tamlin's hand was pushing it for me. I could grow anything in nature, but when it came to fighting, I lacked tremendously.

"Angharad, where did you last see some of your peoples?" I asked, as we started off on the horses. We hadn't the slightest clue where we were going, but we had packed a few bedrolls and food just in case.

"Up towards the border of Spring and Summer." He said, and Tamlin paused.

"That far North?"

"Yes."

"It will take us weeks to get there." Weeks?! I hadn't known how long it would take, but perhaps Angharad had knew that if we knew before we set off, perhaps we would have more reservations and would wait longer to help his peoples.

"You aren't having second thoughts about helping my people are you?" Angharad's eyes shimmered with sadness as he spoke.

"No." I said rather quickly. His six eyes then perked up a bit, and Tamlin said nothing.

We rode in silence for awhile, before it began to get dark around us. That's when we set up camp. The spring air was warm enough that all we needed were bedrolls. A fire only to make light illuminate us so if there was a threat, we would see it coming.

Angharad's bedroll was across from me, with Tamlin's closer. It was like the night I woke up to Tamlin staring at me with Angharad carefully observing from the corner, but this time I couldn't ask him to leave the room.

"Tamlin, what did you mean by I'm driving you insane." I asked, quietly. I was curious, but perhaps I didn't need to know the answer. I could see him gulp before he responded.

"All I could think about before was my dying court, but now all I can think of is you. I didn't want to tell you for fear that it would scare you away..." He let his words trail off softly. Even if it was a bond making him say these things, I could tell they were genuine. He would do anything to protect me, although we had just met. I was grateful for it but-

I winced as I felt a singe of something through my chest, through my heart. It wasn't an arrow or sword, no, but just a feeling. Perhaps the feeling of guilt that I wasn't ready for a mate while someone sat nearby, attempting to mask his feelings while doing whatever he thought would make me happy. Or perhaps I was feeling his guilt, but I wasn't sure to what end he was guilty. There was still so much I didn't know about this blonde, green-eyed Fae.

As I thought on the topic, I pictured Cian. Cian had been attractive, with his soft face and sharp cheekbones. He was kind in that flashback of us laying in the snow. But what happened to make him so angry? I wished not to know what would make Tamlin that angry, when he's so doting now. Perhaps me leaving would..

Then I had a glimmer of clarity. Is the real reason he followed me out here not entirely because he wanted to protect me, but because he was afraid of me leaving? He had said he didn't want me to hunt before, and just said he had worries for me- but all that could've been him just worrying that Cian would appear to be kidnapping me again.