Watching 9-1-1 clips

Chapter 3

"The video you will all be watching now is called head held high • Evan Buckley. As sad before it will have sad elements" the voice says with a sense of sombreness laced in it. Buck tenses knowing how many things can be shown and Bobby seeing that puts his hand on bucks shoulder to help ease and comfort the boy he sees as a son. "We are here for you honey" Athena softy whispers in bucks ear with her hand in his. Buck nods his head while looking at the ground not wanting to have his face seen by the others. The video starts begins to play.

[the video starts with a black screen with bucks name and Buck saying "it is because I have spent my entire life feeling like a constant disappointment"]
Buck winces at everyone hearing that while he can't run away after it. "Buck you're not a disappointment and you never will be I promise you that" Karen says with wet eyes. Everyone in the room hate hearing Buck say that about himself while Buck keeps his head down already feeling the tears well up in his eyes.
[it then shows a younger adult Buck with a cast on his arm and scratches on his face saying "mom and dad think I'm a total loser and I'm not Maddie I'm not"]
Collectively the entire room feels nothing but hate and anger towards the Buckley parents at just how awful they have been to both their children. Micheal speaks with conviction "you never have and never will be a loser buck" wanting that to sink in and hoping Buck will believe that in the way everyone else does.
[it then shows Maddie, Chim and Buck sitting at the dinning table looking at Maddie's baby box as Buck says "when do I get mine?" As the the parents look at each other with Buck looking at them]
Buck still looking at the floor feels the tear start to drip remembering the hurt he felt at that dinner and the emotion that Michael's words brought. Maddie, eddie and Chris being the closet to Buck saw the tear and bring Buck into a group hug in comfort. "It's ok Bucky" Chris says gently wanting to help Buck in a way that he can actively do.
[Maddie's voice is heard saying "you've never been a disappointment" to Buck . It then turns to Buck speaking "you think my job is dangerous I have walked through fire every single day of my life because of you"]
All throughout the room people can feel their hearts breaking for the youngest firefighter. "Buck.." may whispers to herself sadly hating someone she considers another brother ever felt that way. Maddie after getting out of the group hug lifts bucks head to get his eyes off the floor so he can look at her says "I meant what I said there you've never been a disappointment and I don't want you to think that ever again. You have us and we are here for you. Ok?" Buck nodded but still wasn't fully convinced remembering the time of the law suit.
[it shows Buck sitting on a bench and then to Buck and Maddie sitting on the sofa looking at a picture saying "I don't understand why no one told me" then to Buck and Maddie linking their pinkie fingers with Buck voice saying "united front". And then again Buck says "united front remember"  and then to Buck with Maddie saying to him "I wanted to tell you so many times"]
Maddie winces at that because know she knows that telling Buck would have been a better option.
[Buck in a voice over says "us versus them that's what we always said but it turns out it was the three of you against me" while showing clips of young Maddie and Buck linking pinkies and before back to the present time of the clip with Buck walking out of the room and leaving Maddie alone]
Guilt goes across the room from everyone because they know they should have been there for Buck more than they were at the original time. Buck feels the tears start to build up in his eyes again but tries to keep it back when he feels a hand touch the back of his so Buck looks in the corner of his eye to see Eddie with his own teary eyes.
[it goes to Buck shouting "because nothing I did was ever good enough" and Margaret buckley in a voiceover saying "you do dangerous things without giving them a second thought" while it shows young Buck riding his bike up a ramp to Buck on a skateboard to Buck in two postcards]
Sobs break free across the room at the last two sentences said. Chris holds tighter to his Buck not wanting to see him so upset. Bobby and Athena imitate what Eddie and Maddie did earlier by pulling their boy into their arms which bucks sinks into trying to hide. Athena looks to the side seeing Maddie sat close with tears down his cheeks which makes her pull Maddie into the hug in comfort too. The rest of the group gives the four a moment of silence before the video starts again.
[it turns to Margaret Buckley shouting "Evan" to a child buck who is standing on a tree waving. It shows younger adult buck saying "I'm going to be something"]
"You are" Bobby whispers into bucks ear still in the hug while buck's body shakes slightly in response.
[it shows Margaret Buckley bringing a child buck food on a tray as buck eats in bed as he has broken bones. Margaret Buckley's voice is heard saying "you think you're indestructible but your not" as it shows chim and the Buckley parents watching a buck in the hospital bed after the lighting strike]
Chim breaks a little bit more at seeing buck in the hospital after the lighting strike remembering the way Buck had to be resurrected. Hen buries her face into Karen's shoulder who is also crying with tears hating the lighting strike. Eddie's tears come faster remembering every bit of the lighting strike so he grabs Christopher to hold him while Buck is with the cap, Athena and Maddie who are his parents in every way that counts. Similar thoughts run across everyone's minds however they can never imagine the feeling up being there when it happened like the 118 were. Bobby hates that time with a passion at seeing his other child but hurt like that which Athena and Maddie share.
[it shows child buck putting his helmet on and then buck walking into the 118 on his first day with a voiceover of Maddie saying "find the thing that makes you happy the people that make you feel loved" as it shows the party everyone had for buck]
Buck does smile a little bit where he is hiding in the group hug still feeling like he did get that in the end even if he wants to be loved by Eddie in a different way.
[it shows Bobby talking to Buck on his first day saying "welcome to the 118 Buck" and then it goes to Buck saying "being a firefighter is my life. It is the only thing I have ever done that is important and that mattered" as it shows buck holding on to the outside of the firetruck and buck on the rollercoaster trying to help a man before he let go]
Sympathy goes across the room when people release it was when Buck first lost someone on a call. Bobby rubs bucks back from where he is glad that Buck is still hiding in the hug not wanting him to see that after how it affected him at the time.
[then a women with tears in her eyes saying to Buck "you failed him"]
In the room the whimper Buck makes is like the horn of the firetruck and he starts trembling at the words he heard. Eddie not being able to stand not seeing Buck or being next to him crouches down with Chris still in his arms to Buck in the group hug so that he can bring him into his side. Bobby, Maddie and Athena seeing eddies intention slowly pull away so Eddie and Chris can take their place to which Buck clings to Eddie putting his face in the crook of his neck as Chris takes bucks hand in his understanding Buck needs them right now. Everyone smiles at the sight of the small family knowing that Buck and Eddie will always be meant for each other.
[then younger adult buck with Maddie in a voiceover saying "this is your time now Evan go find your place in the world and never look back" as it shows buck during the wildfires and then buck looking upset. Bucks voice is heard in the video saying "i can not handle anyone else getting hurt right now" as it shows Buck running around and then looking relieved]
Images and thoughts rush everyone's head about the amount of times bucks got hurt and how they can't stand it. Eddie just grips Buck tighter to his side at his thoughts.
[then Buck saying to Chim "make sure your ok" before Chim throws a punch in bucks face]
Chim looks down in shame at that clip knowing that he never should have done that to Buck no matter how upset he was. "Buck I'm so sorry I was in the wrong I never should have done that" Chim says with guilt in his voice as he looks up to see Maddie's shocked and angry face "you hit my brother! Why would you do that" Maddie stands up while rising her voice but stops as soon she sees buck flinch in eddies hold. "It's ok Maddie it was after you left he was upset that I didn't tell him" buck says quietly lifting his head out of eddies neck as chin says "no buck i never had the right to touch you. You were doing what your sister asked, I was in the wrong and I will keep apologising to you" Chim says with determination to make it up to buck who nods his head slowly in a small smile before clinging back to Eddie and Chris. Maddie still angry but not wanting to upset her brother nods with a clear look to Chim that she will talk to him privately about that punch. The people who don't know about the punch can't get the image they saw on the video out of their head as the shock settles in. The people who did know look in guilt at the fact they never really properly acknowledged it. Christopher feeling upset at seeing Buck getting hurt moves out of eddies lap to sit on bucks who welcomes him with open arms while still being glued to eddies side.
[then to the 118 in the lift as it closes with Buck across the hall after talking with the lawyer]
Buck closes his eyes remembering just how much pain the lawsuit caused in response Eddie buries his face in bucks hair wishing everyone had been different during that time. The mood in the room turns to a mixture of sadness,pity and guilt as even though both sides weren't innocent the 118 and Bobby especially knew they should have considered bucks side in all of it.
[then to the shop where Eddie points at Buck in anger and says "because your exhausting we all have our own problems but you don't see us whining about it"]
Even after all the time it's been those words still haunt and affect Buck now so hearing it again makes him sob loudly which echos across the room. Eddie immediately is crushed by guilt by his words from that time knowing he never should have said them. "Buck I'm so sorry I never meant them I was just angry and toke it out on you. I promise you I regretted them as soon as I realised it came out of my mouth. I never ever meant them don't take it seriously. Ok Evan please" Eddie says desperately after lifting bucks head out of his neck by gently grabbing his chin so that he can look into bucks watery eyes. Buck still actively crying tries to nod his head but can't manage to stop the tears which breaks eddies heart knowing he's the cause for those pretty blue eyes full of tears. Chris seeing that Buck and his dad need a minute slides of bucks lap and instead it's on the floor next to Buck. Eddie pulls Buck in a full hug by his waist to calm him down and try to slow the tears down but as Eddie puts his face into bucks hair he sheds a tear himself. Everyone else in the room lets the two have their moment while they look away to give them some privacy once eddies calmed buck down a bit more he motions to Chris to sit in between them as the video gets ready to continue again.
[then buck sitting alone in the locker room and then to Bobby saying "your not ready that's what I told them" while Buck looks confused and knocked back saying "what?"]
"I never should have held you back kid it was because I was too scared to lose you but you were ready and I'm sorry for not seeing your side of it" Bobby says softly as Buck nods not ready to speak yet but knowing that both could have handled it better then they did at the time.
[in a voiceover Bobby says "you know what ever actions you take no matter how dangerous or impulsive they may be they come from your heart because you care" as it shows Buck covered in blood rolling to the side before it shows a shooter and then Eddie on the floor after being shot to Buck crawling to get to Eddie]
Quickly Buck and Eddie turn Chris away as Harry,jee and Denny are also turned away from the screen by their parents. Eddie looks at the second not really remembering what had happened at the time but hating how it affected Buck. The rest of the people who weren't there look on it shock and sadness at seeing Eddie hurt like that and bucks reaction.
[then to Buck covered in various things like dirt while in a fire looking determined with him saying "I almost give up" in a voiceover to Buck riding a buck going past Bobby and Eddie as Eddie shouts "BUCK!" Throwing his hand in the air. It then shows Buck in gear going up a ladder surrounded by a cage like thing as voiceover of Bobby says "Buck nobody cleared you to go up there" and Eddie saying "where the hell you going" but Buck smiles. Before it turns to Buck saying "I don't want to make the same mistakes" and then to Buck in a voiceover saying "I'm fine" as it shows Buck looking up to Buck strapped onto something repelling somewhere]
Everyone looks at the clips in amusement at just how strong Buck is and realising they should have recognised sooner.
[then to Buck being cut off from talking as he is hit over the head with the end of a gun]
Anger grows in the room at seeing that clip while Eddie who was there at the time glares at the men of the screen for doing that to Buck.
[then to Buck being hugged by Margaret to Buck being in a group hug with Bobby,hen and Eddie with a voiceover of Buck staying "love me anyway"]
"We all do buckaroo" hen says with conviction and meaning as everyone nods around the room in agreement. Buck nods his head from his permanent place beside Chris and Eddie.
[it shows Buck sitting on a bench alone to Buck in his full gear and then Buck looking up. The video ends]
Once the video is over everyone slowly breathes and composes themselves as the video hit them all hard in ways they didn't think it would. The voice comes back after a few good minutes "I know how hard that video was for all of you so we will watch one more video and then you can all break for lunch. After that we can watch one more video and then you can all get some rest in the rooms in the back" everyone nods there heads at that knowing they couldn't watch these videos all day without fully breaking down. Eddie whispers into bucks ear "are you ok with that or do you need anything else carino" Buck nods his head no while bushing at the pet name which Eddie didn't realise had actually slipped out "it's ok I can watch a couple more just please can you and Chris stay close" Buck says while Eddie nods his head "we aren't going anyway". The voice comes back up to tell the group what video they will be watching next.

Authors note
Thank you all for reading I hope you like the chapter and I appreciate all the comments on the last chapter and promise you I am trying to write them in even if it's not in the next chapter. Again feel free to leave comments and again
Thank you