02: Why Air Dick Of All Nicknames..
“Rise and grind gang, it’s 5 in the morning!” A concerningly familiar voice yells, waking me up. Right, I’m in a training camp thing.
Even better, I'm stuck with a bunch of idiots. I was so mentally drained yesterday that I didn’t even decorate my room. How dare I. With the flick of my fingers there are now books on the empty bookshelves. It’s not good decorating but it’s definitely something. I left my room to see which one of these idiots was being loud so early in the morning. I came out to see Seungmin trying to choke Jisung.
“Chan, help! Get this creep away from me!”
“Will you shut up!?” Not wanting to deal with any more bullshittery, I turned in the other direction.
“Chan! Don’t leave me here!”
I abandoned the guy and made my way to the kitchen. There Felix was, passed the absolute fuck out. He fell asleep on some pancakes and whipped cream it seems. He’s gonna be in for a very unpleasant surprise when he wakes up. I opened the fridge wondering if there would be anything in there and surprisingly there was. I took out some juice and poured it into a cup. You may be wondering how I, literal air, drinks or eats. I don’t know either but I’m somehow capable of it.
“Um, Chan? Are you hungry? I’m going to make breakfast for everyone..” A timid voice from behind me says. I turn around to see Jeongin, panicking over Felix sleeping on his food.
“Oh no! Felix, wake up!” Jeongin shakes the hell out of Felix, which is ironic cuz he’s from that place.
“C’mon..” Jeongin looks like a soft guy but he’s kind of strong I dunno. He stretched Felix’s arms, slapped the shit out of him, he did it all.
“HUH!?” Felix finally woke up, his face covered in whipped cream and berries.
“Oh no, your face is covered in whipped cream! Quick, we need to clean you up!”
“Don’t worry, I got this!” Felix then proceeded to lick all of the whipped cream off his face like he’s in a cartoon or something. It’s way too early in the morning for me to question it so I’ll pretend I didn’t see anything.
“No! That’s no way to clean yourself, c’mon now.”
Jeongin picked Felix up out of nowhere and carried him out of the kitchen. With them gone I finally got to experience the joy of silence. I thought because they were gone I could finally get some time to myself but then this fucking guy.. The one person I already cannot stand walks into the kitchen.
“Yo, what up air dick?” Fucking Minho just had to walk in.
“Please go away.”
“Are you drinking juice?”
“Yes, I am.”
“How? Aren’t you air? How would you store the liquid?.”
“I dunno.”
“You confuse the hell out of me man.”
“You too.”
Minho opened the fridge, grabbed a shit ton of food and shoved it down his throat in seconds.
“What the hell!?”
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Nothing..”
“Oh fuck! I have to go deliver another package! See you, air dick!” Minho dashes out of the kitchen. It’s unfortunate that he has to deliver packages so early in the morning but at least he’s gone.
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God's Menu
FanfictionEight children of the gods have gathered into one training camp. Unfortunately, everyone there is an idiot. But at least there's ponies involved.
