Nordlys: The Northern Lights Orgy Club

61

"Fuck this" I exclaim softly, my voice drowned out by the music.

Emotion presses against my lungs, making it hard to breathe, taking up massive space in my abdomen. It is too large and scary to face here in public. I turn away, looking down the stairwell. I consider going back to the red room, but then shake my head, a memory of Britt telling the Overlord that she wanted to go to a strip club flashing before my eyes. This was a setup.

I clamp my jaw down against the little cry that wants to come out. I cannot be vulnerable here, it's not safe here. I am NOT SAFE. I turn back, looking for the main entrance. I would have to cross the entire room, threading my way through multiple dancers and their clients, and it might attract attention. It would also take too long. I need to be alone ASAP, or I cannot hold myself together. I need time to THINK. I need space to BREATHE.

The back exit. It's the closest one. I make a beeline for the back door, circling the stairwell. As I approach the bouncer stationed before that door, I clap my hand over my mouth and make gagging motions, implying I am about to throw up. He opens the door wide for me, careful to avoid me as I pass, and then shuts the door behind me. I am in the alley, desolately alone, and I couldn't be more relieved.

I take a deep breath of the damp, fetid air, and let it out slowly. The emotion is still there, squeezing my heart, but at least I can breathe again. It's mostly quiet out here, as the music cannot escape the brick walls with more than a dim thumping. A streetlight casts a yellow glow on the wet pavement, and I see that it must have rained while I was inside. The damp feel of the air leads me to believe that it will soon rain again.

I need to walk, but do I go left, or right? This alley is not familiar to me, and I am not sure which part of the city I am in. I decide to go right, since that is the direction the limo had come in, so I know there must be an exit to the street that way. Once I see a street sign, I can get a better idea of where I am.

My ballet flats squeak a little as I walk over the wet pavement. They don't have much cushion in the sole, but at least it's better than wearing heels. A chill breeze sweeps by, making me regret my choice of a short dress, and my lack of underwear. Hopefully this won't be a long walk.

I retrieve my phone from where I had stashed it in my bra, and start loading a map app. It is taking awhile to load, and I surmise the high buildings that surround this alley must be blocking my cell signal. All of the wifi networks appear to be locked. I put my phone back in my bra with a frustrated sigh. I'll try again when I make it to the street. I hug my arms across my chest and shiver, doggedly pressing on.

What is the root of this large emotion I feel? Why does my heart ache? The flash of recent memory crosses my eyes, Jen bent over backwards to please the Overlord, and the diamond necklace, MY diamond necklace, given to her. Do I begrudge Jen a diamond? Logically, it doesn't make sense that I should. The Overlord just gave me a hundred diamonds. Taking my diamond for his own use is a surprise to me, but I definitely came out better in the exchange.

Stahri's face pops up in mind, conjured by the throbbing of my scar. 'Good Girls get diamonds' I hear an echo of his voice. This was HIS diamond, actually, his gift to me. I suppose it must have been... special. My mind goes quiet, while my heart twists, the pressure in my chest ballooning. The steady pace of my footfalls on the pavement rings through my empty brain, as I push all thoughts on this topic aside, for fear of confronting them.

I look up to gauge the distance I have left to travel, and see the alley curve to the right up ahead. It's dark there, the streetlights don't reach.

Automatically, my steps slow. I drift to the extreme left side of the road, to give me the best angle to see the curve, and my ears perk up, listening for any sounds. I don't want to run into people unexpectedly while my mind is in turmoil.