MY NEW NEIGHBOR

Chapter 6

          "Why are u moping?" Alicia asked me, her hair freshly braided and clothes more sparkly than usual
She was going out with her friends and I was definitely jealous.

          "I'm not."

         "Well... You're sitting on the couch eating ice cream with a huge spoon and crying over rom-coms," she said dropping onto the cushion next to me. "Talk to me little bro."

          I shook my head. "You're going to be late."

          She put a hand on my shoulder waiting to speak until I looked at her. "Nothing will ever be more important than us. Ride or die, remember? I've always got your back."

          She had first told me that years ago, when I was still skittish and brainwashed, after I woke up screaming. She had asked me if I trusted her and strangely enough... I did. So I explained what was going on with me. What I wanted and why I couldn't have it.

          "Y'know... The things that happened to you---"

          " Alicia," I interrupted in warning but this was different and she wasn't deterred.

          "No. Look at me Maxwell," she said sharply and I did. "You have never talked to Mom about, never the counselors or therapists, only me. You trusted me then... Do you now?"

          "Yes," I whispered softly.

          "Maybe it's time you let someone else in," she said, taking me by the chin when I started shaking my head, turning my face back to her. "You know that I only want what's best for you and I have never seen you happier than you have been this last month. Those things.... Max, they do not define you. Do not let them control the rest of your life. He has taken enough from you... Do not let him take anymore. You pursued this a lot longer than you had to, and Graham honestly considers you his friend. If you want to end that then you have to tell him why. You can't just push him away and make him feel at fault. You owe him that much."

          The tears were hot in my eyes, splashing onto my cheeks as I nodded. I knew she was right and somewhere deep inside of me there was still hope that we could be friends, but I was well aware that seeing pity in his eyes might be more than I could take. I thought I had learned to live again but now I realized I had not learned to do anything more than exist.

          "Good. Then go."

          My head snapped up, "what?"

         "Go," she said again.

         "But, I... It's almost eight o'clock!"

          "Now!" She said shoving me up and towards the stairs only to stop me once I reached them. "Max, think on this. If you just pushed him away it might hurt him but not as much as if he finds out why anyways and wonders why you didn't trust him enough to ever say anything."