Arabella - Toxicity

3. Cigarettes

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Nick had stayed home longer than expected, probably cause he wanted to be there for me, even though I didn't need him. He'd been here almost a month, It's not that I'm not happy about it, I am, I just think he needs to live his life and not care about me so much.

"Alex asked if he could come over... Are you okay with that?" Nick asked softly as he looked up from his sushi.

I groaned in annoyance. "As long as I don't see or hear him" My words made him chuckle a little.

"Deal" I stood up and put my plate in the sink.

"Already done? You've eaten like 5 pieces" It was clear from the way he said it that he was concerned about me.

"I'm on a diet" I told him and began walking out of the kitchen.

"You sure?" I turned on my heels as he said this.

"Of course" I told him. I could see in his eyes that he didn't believe me for a second but he decided not to do anything about it before he knew more. I turned on my heels once again and walked upstairs to find my headphones and phone. When I walked into my room I found my phone on the dresser and my headphones on top of a pile of clothes on the floor. I threw myself on the bed and plucked in my earphones. I scrolled through this app my now ex best friend had recommended to me. It was called Spotify and honestly it was fairly easy to use. I played 'Alive' by Pearl Jam. Nick was the one that introduced me to it when I was like 15 and it's been one of my favourites ever since.

I was looking around my room, from my mirror to my door then to my wall which was filled of pictures. My eyes landed on a picture with my ex boyfriend, ex best friend, and me. It was clear in that picture they had something going on by the way they looked at each other. I was angry that I hadn't realised and had let them hurt me.

Tears rolled down my cheek as my vision got blurry. They were tears of anger and frustration. I stood up and went over to the wall. I pulled down and ruined every last picture with them on, but stopped at a childhood picture of me and my ex best friend. I dropped down to my knees and cried out of sadness this time. we were around 10 years old in this picture. It was a time where nothing other than each other was going on in our minds. I let out a long sigh and ripped it over in the middle. I was done with her, this was the last time she betrayed me.

I sat on the floor for a good ten minutes before I jumped up by the song switch. The singer screamed and I immediately knew it was Pierce The Veil by the voice. Pierce The Veil was amazing, and I didn't care if I got called emo by listening to them; They were just too good to stop listening.

I was vibing to the song when I almost slipped on a peace of clothing. It was the skirt I was wearing when I was out with Nick and his friends. I reached down to grab it so I could begin to clean my room.

I found something square in one of the pockets. Organic cigarettes. They reminded me of Alex but in this moment I didn't care, not at all actually. I needed them to calm me down. I looked around my room for the lighter I normally used to light my candles with. I found the purple lighter on top of one of my school books. I put a cigarette between my lips, and opened the window before lighting it. I inhaled then exhaled. I still wasn't the biggest fan of the taste but it relaxed me. I rested my elbows on the window sill and smoked while listening to music. It was a vibe honestly and that was the moment I really began to smoke.

I heard a car and looked down to see an old red car pulling into our driveway. A person with a dark brown quiff walked out of the car. Alex. I rolled my eyes as he took a notice of me. I could've sworn I saw him roll his too. He walked into my house and I could hear his deep voice yelling to Nick. I hated his stupid voice, and his stupid quiff. I finished my cigarette and immediately lit another one. It slowly but surely helped me relax.